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I know I’ve already mentioned this in my previous post, but now i’m just pissed.

It has nothing to do with Agnes and Garth potentially having a romance, it’s the fact that Bruce Miller decided to do another June and Nick, even though he was alright with them blowing that up, pun intended.

I’ve already seen people on twitter dot com saying “if Nick had been like Garrh, I probably would’ve liked him”, and I’m sitting behind my screen, yelling into the void “IF THEY HAD FOLLOWED THE BOOK HE WOULD HAVE BEEN!!!!”

So what will I remember?

I'm going to remember the Nick I watched for nearly a decade: Someone who was good, kind, brave.

(source:potpourri-of-ecclecticism)

Someone who was patient, he was understanding, he was gentle.

Someone who risked everything, including his life, again and again to help June, even when she couldn't or wouldn't do the same for him.

Someone who in his last moments of existence, was still concerned about the well-being of the woman he loved, not knowing she had just sentenced him to death.

Someone who loved so deeply and unconditionally it was ultimately his downfall.

(source:splitscreen)

And this is not to say he was perfect. He wasn’t. He was human, flawed like the rest of us. But in death, we often like to remember a person's most admirable traits. And these were Nick’s.

(source:nickblaine)

And above all else, even through the mistakes, he always tried to do right by the people he loved. And those are the things about Nick that we all remember and carry with us.

They forgave Fred. They pardoned Fred.

Is Nick worse than Fred?

I didn’t watch the show and at any point think “oh, when Nick’s not on screen he’s hugging babies and playing with puppies.”

That whole interview pissed me off.

You want to be realistic? You want to be subversive?

Let Serena Joy be evil.

Let her be evil because she loves it. Because she believes in it. Because right now this country is being torn apart by women like Serena Joy Waterford. Women who will not for a second think what they are doing is wrong or despicable.

You want hope in a bleak world? Show people that change is possible. That making a choice when you thought there were no others doesn’t damn you to a life of loneliness and hatred.

He only existed in “Juneland” because you wrote him that way in the final hour. But before that? He found purpose in the unnamed handmaid. Friendship in an unspoken alliance with Rita. Camaraderie with Beth and the marthas who spoke so freely to him.

You want feminism? Show us a male ally. A man who finds strength not just from the women around him but in the actual act of supporting them.

Instead, you unwittingly centered the man you were so desperate to omit. And you forgave a woman who, in all reality, would rather go down with her burning ship.

What a waste. What a disgrace.

Recall Nick was married when he took June that dossier in 4x9. Nick slips his ring on at the end of that scene. He left Rose to answer June's call for help.

June went to that meeting to ask him to get information on Hannah's location. She was surprised that he had already, on his own, asked under cover rebels "friendlies" to photograph her daughter in another state, as proof that she was ok. He always seemed sad in earlier seasons to confess that he didn't have any information on Hannah's location. But now that he had risen in the ranks, he used that power to help June.

He also used his power to keep tabs on her location and safety. "If she was near the border I'd know about it."

Recall that Rose was cool when Nick was out all night with June at the beginning of S5. (the night he coordinated Fred's international arrest with Tuello and Lawrence, and delivered him to June to murder in the manner of her choosing.)

Rose made him coffee and forgave him, hoping it would be the last time he ran off to help June. The agonized look on his face told us he knew he couldn't promise that.

Recall also that Rose was there when June called on the phone. It was in the trailer- a shot over her shoulder watching him hang up with a guilty horny look on his face. They cut it from the season.

Nick left Rose again to meet June outside that house. He finally told June then that Rose was pregnant. Sharing how entrapped he was in Gilead.

End of S5- Nick punched Lawrence in the face at his wedding, and said "you could have killed her." (June).

Rose visited Nick in Jail to dump him. Because she was sick of how he kept "running off every time his girlfriend called." She was tired of being humiliated because Nick was so clearly still in love with June. He confessed, out loud, that he couldn't stop.

Since pregnant women can't leave baby daddies in Gilead, Wharton stepped in to ensure Nick's marriage remained in tact, and the family name remained untarnished.

Nick was basically on house arrest. His evil Father in law moved in to make sure he wouldn't run off to help June again.

June called for his help. AGAIN!

Made Nick leave his own party- when he was hosting foreign dignitaries.

Nick answered June's call for help. He rescued her friends. He killed 2 Gilead Soldiers to do it.

Nick's absence was noted by his evil Father in law, who took even MORE interest in Nick's activities. Knowing he was still sneaking around and cheating on his daughter. He was delighted to see that Toby was recovering, and could narc on whoever shot him.

Nick smothered Toby to death with his hands. To protect June's secrets and his own life. Hoping, praying it would be the last time she would put him in danger. Starting to dream of running the fuck away. Gathering passports for him, June, June's mom, and their baby. In Gilead.

June shows up at Lawrence's. Lawrence calls Nick to come get his crazy ex girlfriend.

June tells Nick to go to Jezebels to get the letters.

He asks why. She tells him.

He gets the letters. He's spotted.

Bell calls Nick's evil father in law, who can't wait to crucify his adulterous son in law. All he needs is silence, and he'll have proof that Nick was at Jezebels. Cheating on Rose. And he's a dead man. Finally.

Nick tells the truth.

Verifiable truth, to save his own life.

Truth he wouldn't know if June hadn't told him.

About why he was in a place he shouldn't have been in. A place he went because June asked him to go.

Wharton took evil action. Of course.

Nick runs to June, breathlessly begging her to leave for Paris. He'd already made all the arrangements. If they had a few more minutes, he might have convinced her to SAVE HIS LIFE. He was finally ready to drop the pretenses. He chose June. He asked her to choose him.

But the timing was already fucked. The slow motion tragedy June set in motion unfolded before them both.

June closed her heart to Nick.

He called to June, but she didn't answer.

And then she killed him. By refusing to acknowledge him- as he searched for her. As he felt her. Before he got on the plane.

His last thoughts were for her safety.

After he was dead- she dishonored his memory. Forgiving their rapist, and speaking ill of the man who saved her over and over. Killing even his good name. Even Serena fucking Waterford didn't do that.

June couldn't forgive Nick- for saving his own life one (1) time.

He was dead either way, though. At Wharton's hand if he remained silent, or June's if he spoke the truth.

It was a no win situation.

His love for June killed him.

It was a painful barb he couldn't remove.

Her love for him an illusion. A lure she used to lead him to his death.

June to Serena about Nick (and his death): “He reaped what he sowed. He lived a violent and dishonest life.”

I’m sorry? Where?? So you forgive your literal rapist and abuser, but the man who loved you unconditionally, saved yours and others you cared for’s lives, and worked WITH MAYDAY to get you out - AWAY FROM SERENA (and Fred) - that’s the bad guy?!?! But Serena is forgiven?! Where was he dishonest with her? When was he violent against her or anyone? He was only ever violent IN FAVOR OF HER.

HELP ZAL. What happened with THT?! Where did it go completely wrong for this ship? What drugs were consumed when producing and writing this final season?? Girl this message is ATROCIOUS. She backed Nick up into a corner and he half-assed AT BEST “confessed” to knowing “OF A PLAN” - deserving of immediate death and completely unforgivable.

I really can’t ever rewatch this show from the beginning now knowing what it turns into, especially for Osblaine. Just…. Unreal. June kills Nichole’s dad and then ditches her entirely, dumping her on her mom. Serena gets redemption. All the girls and kids come and go as they please across Gilead borders. Lawrence dies a hero, randomly, and has a fond final moment with June?? Let’s not forget he ordered a bomb to drop on her. Luke RANDOMLY a rebel hero, when he couldn’t fight his way out of an abandoned Dollar Tree & one patrol car riding around every 45 minutes. Let it all burn.

June forced Omar to take her with him, to his house, so she could leave the Boston Globe. This resulted in:

Omar being executed and put on the wall, presumably also tortured beforehand to get info on June 

their child taken away from them and given to a commander 

his wife being made a handmaid

June insisted on seeing Hannah despite her Martha's pleads. This resulted in:

the Martha (and several other Marthas) being executed

June bullied Natalie because she was furious at her having ratted them out (despite the situation having started with her own insistence on seeing Hannah). This resulted in:

Natalie suffering a complete breakdown and starting a shootout from which she would later die

June forged ahead with the plan of killing the commanders at the second Jezebel's while the fugitive handmaids were on the run despite concerns from the others. This resulted in:

Beth and Sienna being executed

Her ending up revealing the information after all, after the torture involving Hannah 

June refused to participate in Janine's particicution/stoning. This resulted in:

All the handmaids except her being tortured and burned, June being exempt because she was pregnant 

June told Nick that he had to go and save Moira and Luke from the waterpark because they had gotten in over their heads. She insisted he do it even when he said it was too dangerous. This resulted in:

Nick having to kill two people 

Nick having to kill one of them a second time 

leading to Nick's eventual mental breakdown

June also:

left Janine behind in Chicago after they were bombed, and did not mention her or inquire about her for a long time

was the other woman in Luke's first marriage with seemingly no qualms about it

chose the five most useful women --not the weakest who would have needed it the most-- for Lawrence to save as Marthas, knowing that the rest would be sent to the colonies

dragged Eleanor to a visit to Hannah's school, despite Eleanor not being well, worsening her downward spiral and leading to her eventual suicide/death, which June watched happen without saving her when she could have

saved herself after the van heist after the bridge, leaving Alma and Brianna behind, leading to their deaths

told Nick that he had to sleep with Eden "because I cannot lose you", adding to his pressure of being forced to sleep with a 15 year old, despite him expressly saying he did not want to this

told Eden to "grab love where she could find it", paving the way for the eventual execution of Eden and Isaac

Obviously none of the above is black and white -- June is a fascinating, strong and morally ambiguous character in a world of extremes. We understand why she acted that way, we can understand her motivation and her drive.

But while some of her actions were in the name of the greater good and can be excused and understood, others were purely selfish. And regardless of the individual situations: many people got hurt or are dead now because of her. Her good intent doesn't undo that.

Adding to that, among the examples there are countless times where June made the express choice of not sacrificing herself for the greater good - she did force herself on Omar, she did give up the location of the handmaids, she did not stay behind in Chicago to find and save Janine.

Those were all moments where she could have sacrificed herself for the others. But she did not.  And I understand that. And yet this also means that she literally cannot have the moral high ground.

None of it is demeaning because that's how we act when we're in LOVE, when we DESIRE. That's not a "woman" thing, it's a human thing, so it shouldn't be viewed as embarrassing for a woman to feel those things, to accept them and enjoy them to the fullest. Especially when we are lucky to be with a person that actually wants us as we are, doesn't try to change or control us in any way. A person with whom we can just BE.

I don't get why it's so hard to understand that THAT is what drew us to that story. It's not just because it's romance, and we are women and of course we like romance (ugh), it's because of the type of love it shows.

Love that doesn't restrain, doesn't hold back, doesn't tell you what to do, doesn't stop you, doesn't possess you. It's a love that IS, that STAYS, that TRUSTS and it's TRUSTFUL, that GIVES and most of all, only requires for you to be on the other end.

It's such a wasted opportunity to have shown us this for an entire 6 seasons run, just to tells us that, in the end, it never fucking mattered.

KATNISS offers a handful of night lock berries.

Peeta shakes his head. “There can be only one winner, and it’s me.”

He shoves the berries down Katniss’ throat and laughs as she foams at the mouth and goes limp.

I will never be embarrassed for wanting to see it on screen or in a book or for seeking it out in fanfiction.

Love comes in so many different forms. Familial, platonic, romantic, self.

Every great story has love at its center.

Every great story seeks to understand how powerful love is. How it breaks us apart and transforms us.

I will never be embarrassed for loving love.

But I especially won’t find fault in an audience or readership for expecting a specific end to a story that made sure to have a romantic love as an integral part of its center.

There are other reasons this season failed. So, so many.

But I’ve been finding myself particularly frustrated by the takes on appreciating romance the past year or so.

It’s reductive. And it lacks the understanding that romance — good romance — at its core is not about people just holding hands at the end of the story.

It’s about development and choice and finding yourself and growing and evolving.

It’s incredible to watch as characters change — to have flaws and imperfections, be immature or naive, only to come into their own.

But also to have characters start out as incompatible or not quite right for each other. To build them in such a way that they come through the other side as a team. A partnership. To have these characters, who have seen the best and worst of each other, accept the whole story. The good and the bad. As friends, as lovers, as family.

To watch as a character is transformed by the love around them, all forms, is one of the gifts stories give us.

So, you can love a work of fiction, love every facet, every character and type of relationship. You can love all of it and still appreciate the romantic love.

It doesn’t negate your intelligence or critical thinking skills.

You don’t get to avoid the fallout by lying about what you did.

What you did wasn’t an accident or a mistake.

You discussed this plot twist.

Wrote it.

Edited it.

Printed it.

Paid actors to rehearse it

Paid for filming locations and costumes and lighting and equipment.

You filmed it.

You edited the film to make sure it reflected your chosen story

You created a social media campaign around it.

Prob took over a year. It wasn’t an accident. It was intentional.

You called the hero a Nazi even though he’s never done a single heinous unexplainable thing you didn’t write for him.

UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU JUST REDEEMED.

You told the viewers to film their faces while they watched episode 9. Called the season a love letter to the fans. Baiting fans into the trap, Knowing full well what was in it.

Then the truly unforgivable part. You mocked, humiliateed and shamed your loyal fan base for being sad and hurt at your content. Stirred up people on the internet who hate us so we could get bullied here too.

We never reacted this way when you made us watch brutal murder, torture and rape for a decade. We can handle violence and horror.

We are mad because you’re fucking bullies and your story sucks.

Watching you flail and backtrack- changing the part of the story you can- trying to pretend Nick didn’t mean it, or YOU didn’t mean it? Just makes you look worse.

You know what you did.

And so do we.

If you have to lie to get someone to accept abuse, you’re a bad person.

If you wanted rave reviews you could have written the ending your fans wanted.

Sometimes people make unforgivable choices.

You taught me that.

Enjoy the fruits of your labor.

shes a liar who used us

LITERALLY. Preyed on the fans of this ship, talked up the romance all the way into this season, just so we would stick around to the bitter end. I hope we all boycott the finale.

Not to mention how reductive it is to treat the fans of the romance this way, as if it's that simple - specifically targeting us with comments within the show about being fooled by an attractive man -as if the complexity of these characters and the source material doesn't factor in heavily, when actually that's exactly what used to make this such a poignant story.

What a disgusting thing to write, truly. I'm so angry that rich, white Lawrence, who is responsible for the creation of the Colonies and deaths of millions of people, gets redeemed. That rich, white Serena, who created the who country, who violently raped and abused multiple people, who only feels sorry for herself and June, and is responsible for the deaths of millions, is redeemed and forgiven by June. That wealthy, white Aunt Lydia, who brutalized, maimed, and abused countless women, is redeemed. That upper middle class, white June, who abuses and manipulates and uses people, leaving a trail of bodies behind her, many of them people of colour, gets to be a hero. But Nick, who is a person of colour, from an impoverished background, and a survivor of childhood abuse, is demonized and dumped all over. Like my god, this show is breathtakingly racist and classist and just awful.

June is a bad mother for murdering Nick, full stop. Like imagine down the line when they talk about how he died, the convo will be something like: "Hey, Holly, baby, sweetheart, I murdered your first Daddy because he made a choice to not die for a bunch of random women and then he had a mental breakdown after I abandoned him, just like everyone else in his life did." Like what the fuck??? Hopefully that sweet girl eventually cuts off her horrible mother for good and connects with Hannah and her yet to be born sibling from Nick, and doesn't look back.

Listening to your new episode now.

Thank you for being our voice at this difficult moment.

Saying uncomfortable things- succinctly and clearly.

I know the writers don't care.

But I know they listen to you.

And I'm glad you've put our response on the record.

Thank you for this episode.

We are beyond devastated by the confusing and cruel decisions the showrunners and writers have made, and we want to sincerely apologize if our optimism has further increased the distress you may be feeling at this moment. We genuinely believed that they were going to turn things around and had hope for a decent ending, and did not intend to give anyone false hope. That the writers did what they did was pure shock value and bad writing, full stop. A good show would not have done such a thing. A good show would have built upon the clear narrative threads that were being laid down, not smashing them all to pieces to punish their audience.

All we can do now is let our voices be heard: Let them know across social media (twitter, tumblr, instagram, facebook, tiktok, etc) how unacceptable this writing and character assassination is, leave one star ratings wherever applicable (imdb, Rotten Tomatos, metacritic, etc), and create a better story for Nick and Osblaine.