Thinking of You, Wherever You Are

Mexican artist Gabriel Dawe creates a rainbow sculpture woven from over sixty miles of colored thread.

I don’t have kids

I don’t spend money on nicotine

I don’t gamble my money away on sports

I’m not reliant on a chat bot for all my life functions

In what was originally intended as a “low-key girls weekend,” four of bride-to-be Julia Rose Atkinson’s closest friends were financially ruined this week after her bachelorette party completely bankrupted her fave girlies. “The weekend turned out a bit more expensive than we had anticipated, but of course it was all worth it to celebrate our ride-or-die chica,” said newly insolvent bridesmaid Zara Khan, who quietly canceled her dental insurance after being hit with a surprise $800 charge for damage to the pink party barge chartered for the occasion.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.