What The Fuck

i just think more 30-40 year old men should be more whorish. act your age for once.

unbutton your shirt and show off some cleavage and wear some sexy underwear and maybe then youll feel better.

me & my sisyphus boulder (laundry)

me & my sisyphus boulder (laundry)

it should be free to have a little cat. government subsidized, even. u should get the exact same tax breaks as if u have kids

i'm going to be the first slut to survive a horror movie

i'm going to be the first slut in a horror movie with a kill count

when there’s a product recall i go from ghosting everyone i know to the town crier

hear ye hear ye there is a recall in the us and canada for red and yellow onions due to salmonella

did u know: according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria and becomes the haunted house of the cell

if a minotaur was hunting me in a maze i would just leave

id fuck him

I’d fuck him too

Love wins

When it comes to founding early civilizations, I can’t recommend fertile river valleys highly enough

dracula voice i vant to save zis image

dracula voice vat ze fuck is a vebp

A guest just came by my front desk and said “it’s my husband’s birthday today, make sure you say happy birthday when he comes down!” and I love it so much it reminds me of that post that’s like “if I was dating just some guy I would hype him up so much I would walk in and say here comes the most specialist boy make sure you clap and cheer when he comes in or I’ll blow this whole building up” you know that post, but it literally just happened to me in real life.

Update: they just came back in from eating dinner at a local restaurant I recommended, and I asked the specialist boy in the world how his Special Birthday Dinner was and what he got to eat, and he began to gush about this lasagna he had, and in the background I saw the wife nod in approval that I had acknowledged her Most Specialist Boy’s birthday.