One Fling Chicken

I don't want to be intriguing. I want to be understood.

But your big 3 is air, do you even know yourself?

Who I was yesterday isn't who I am today.

And if you're not living that then I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, that's Pedro Pascal again reminding me who I am. 🤣😂

To be understood would mean to be seen.

To be seen would mean to be love.

I might become celibate for a while.

I am not a pick me. Picky? Yes. Skip me? Yes. Pick me? No. Not with dusty crumb behavior. Go be with Jolene and leave me alone.

Fin.

But May the 4th be with you.

May it be with you to stay strong.

May it be with you to leave.

May it be with you to bring out peace.

My boundaries have been violated. Ugh. But I keep sticking to them.

I got in a fight with my neighbor. He called me a bitch and told me to go to hell. I told him, "I will and I will enjoy it." Filing a police report on him. My other neighbor has a restraining order on him because he is a fucking creep. So that's fun.

The guy I have 12th house synastry with is truly done. I don't even want to talk about it. It was awful. He was a narcissist who fucked with my head. I have brain damage.

I was supposed to go on a date but said date canceled. I figured it was going to happen with the horary chart I pulled but what I disliked is I already felt sketched out by him. I was like watch him flake after chasing me for months. He did. Then he was like, "Next week?" Me: "Can't I got my kids. Some other time." Him: "Yes, please!" Like huh? Do you have zero reading comprehension? I didn't say yes to next week but whatever. There's no second chances with me anymore. Not after all the hell I've been through with 12th house. (I unfriended him. Access denied. Good bye.)

I was talking to another girl but they're just as draining as a dude. Sorry. I'm not trying to be anti-women. I'm all for women supporting women but sometimes even women have let me down. I mean Saturn is going through my 7th house as well. So my relationships with relationships has been...well not easy but needed.

But I'm looking forward to just being single this summer. Getting drunk in my brother's pool with my bestie and my brother and just being happy. Alone. At peace. Thou are a plague upon my peace. And I'm throwing a Bad Bunny Brunch for my bestie's birthday. Because maybe my love life sucks but my relationships with my best friends do not. I have supportive friends and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

My love life would be perfect if I just went back to being a pick me and people pleasing but that was so draining on me. I like this woman. I like being a bad bitch with boundaries even if it means losing people but honestly? These people I'm losing are trash. They aren't happy people and I want happiness. ❤️🩷

So cheers! Here's to me choosing me. Because I love her. She deserves the best.

But my heart is still broken.

I know he's wrong for me.

But I'm still mourning the idealized version I made of him.

It's not him.

It's the dream I made of him.

Please stay out of my dreams, 12th house.

If you're haunting me, please say I'm haunting you, too.

ETA: I no longer want this after what the Scorpio Moon revealed to me. I am so better off without you.