Collecting Shiny Trinkets

The rest of the class action lawsuit is hereby…

(SLAM) (SLAM)

THROWNITY OUT!

I genuinely want V and Cardi to finally meet and it’s this wonderful heartfelt reunion of long lost brothers.

However.

What I also want, and I think we’re far more likely to get, is the two of them being absolute children to each other.

For example:

“Mom said it’s my turn with the papacy!”

“How come he got a bigger portion of chow mein than me?!” (They literally both got the same amount)

“HE’S TOUCHING ME!” (They’re barely in the same room)

“You were adopted!” (Perpetua literally starts bawling and Cardi has Regrets; still doesn’t apologize directly but a fancy gift basket of Perpy’s favorite treats mysteriously appears in his quarters.)

“He’s on my side of the Ministry!” The Ministry has in fact been divided down the middle with purple and red lines signifying each twin’s side, with a demilitarized zone in the foyer.

Some poor ghoul *cough*Dewdrop*cough* literally getting yanked back and forth between the two of them like a beloved teddy bear while they argue who’s his favorite twin.

Tripping each other as they rush to the dining room for meals. Inevitably ends in both of them falling down the stairs tangled together like Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

Cardi attempting to teach the rats to infiltrate Perpetua’s quarters and ruin his belongings. Backfires spectacularly in that the rats love Perpetua. He has also somehow in exchange taught the rats to flip off Cardi.

But people get touchy and reactive about that conversation, because of how many bigots are doing the "omg trans people are FORCING their DIRTY HORMONES on our CHILDREN!" narrative.

I never want to accidentally contribute to that moral panic. But at the same time, as a nonbinary intersex person, some trans people really fucking do pull the "oh my god you have to get HRT and surgery in order to be VALID and REAL like ME!" shit.

The authors haven't done anything shitty in telling their stories. These stories are important to share. But it's hard not to notice that I've yet to see a story like mine, where the journey of self-love comes through learning that body parts have no gender, that my body does not determine my identity, and that I don't have to alter it in order to fit binarist, truscum, intersexist ideas of what I should look like. My body can just exist without intervention. I don't need to do anything to it unless I want to, and the fact that I don't want to does not make me any less trans, nonbinary, or intersex.

It just gets kind of exhausting and alienating to see endless "trans empowerment is through SURGERY and HORMONES!!!!" stories, without much variation.

I might have just a-

Tiny obsession.

so then I sat underneath my desk with Tobibble and we just stared at each other like 👁️👁️ UNTIL HE SUDDENLY MORPHED INTO CARDI

and we just... started hugging?? underneath my desk still???? and then someone cleared their throat and crouched down to look at us in bewilderment. It was TF again?? he tried to coax Cardi and me out of our hiding spot but we just continued to sit there like