yo

what my mouth feels like after drinking mcdonalds sprite

why is the sims so addictive but only for a short amount of time??? like all u do is play the sims u don’t sleep u don’t eat it’s like you’re on drugs for around two days and then forget about it for the next whole year

God creating Adam and Eve then fucking off for the rest of the eternity like

just once in my life i wanna get up in the morning without going through the full seven stages of grief first

What are the extra two?

Denial 2 and Astral Projection

i would like to.. become a bumble bee. sit on flowers. be yellow. not go to school. not understand capitalism.

no more coming out, if u cant tell im gay from the everything abt me u dont deserve to know

i think jeff bezos should personally deliver every amazon package until he dies of exhaustion and then whoevers doorstep he dies on gets his fortune

i literally never want a program to turn my smileys into one of their accursed emojis and yet they persist in their wretchedness

not to toot me own horn but the fact that i didn’t kill myself in the 2010s? big dick energy idk how i pulled that one off

Every one: You have to make time for yourself! me: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* Me time 😍💆

you are growing from this you are growing from this you are growing from this

me talking to the dinosaur pellet i just put in a glass of water

i hate explaining shit. telepaths only

we make eye contact and i connect to the wifi in your brain and i delete half of your memories and make you left handed

nooo don't kill me i won't drop any useful items haha