este pobre barro pensativo

Sometimes I feel like a petit bourgeois failson, not gonna lie :/ I don't even want that life because I've seen the better and worse aspects through family members and other people I know. But still feel like I should :/

Like an inner voice telling you to become a priest. Must be worth it to you that much

I'm glad for people who genuinely can devote themselves to it because they way they describe it it really is a vocation

Your most annoying classmate and/or relative will have you feeling like an old maid at 24 because you don't have a masters on track for a PhD but normal people don't think like that. There are certain expectations of self-sufficiency and success but if you're doing something and look like you're doing OK non-academics won't think that much about it.

Maybe I'm the odd one but though it can be needed for financial reasons I never got the appeal of grad school :/ I loved general studies and taking a variety of courses and just learning, even the undergraduate courses for my specialisation could be fun and there was a lot of reading but I never had the sense that my value as a person hinged on how much I knew or could read the way that people talk about their PhD. Can I just take undergraduate courses forever, about different things? Hah. I think I'm not a good fit for that lifestyle and I realised that early on, but in some circles there's the idea that not only do you have to do it but you have to want it.

Mental echolalia of the past few months: the words ordnance and materiel

Between this and Dostoyevsky training as a military engineer and quitting after mandatory service I'm OK with not actively using my degree

Don't think that in other parts of the city they celebrate it more than one day or at all but my district is a traditional fishing town that was absorbed by the urban sprawl so it's a whole thing. Haven't actually been out to it since I was a kid and now that I'm alive again I want to see it.

Reminds me to take a day off for the days of St Paul and St Peter