Happy trans day of visibility, everyone!

I am Constantine, I live in Greece and I am 17y old. I grew up in a transphobic-homophobic country so from an early age I have been told that I was a male, and that I should act like one. I never understood gender roles. As a kid I liked playing with barbies with my sister or even dress up like a girl and do sketches with her and at the same time, I enjoyed drawing dragons and monsters.

My family didn’t actually have a problem with that ‘cause they thought Ι was going through a phase or smth. I remember my mum taking me to play-stores and I would pick my own barbie (although I could only have one) and generally helping me do anything I wanted (although she forbade me wearing makeup and anything too girly). I couldn’t tell my friends and I have been keeping it a secret since.

I have been rejecting my true feelings for so long because of bullying and fear, I have been suppressing interests and behaviours to fit the label of “male”, ‘cause I thought I had no other choice, that even now, I can’t figure out what the heck I am (sexually and my gender).

For the time being, I identify as a demiboy but I am still searching to see if I feel more comfortable as something else. In the future I wish to have an androgynous appearance(no body hair, coloured nails, wearing makeup and that kind of stuff) but still pass for a guy. (I don’t wear makeup outside for now and my family doesn’t know about all this. They would only accept after long fights and I really don’t have the energy for that).