stupid fruit

no one will come to save you but some will offer you their hand to hold when life gets tough and those are the ppl that matter

That makes her the bossman of the customers what's confusing

hey. hey. cmere. closer i have a secret to tell you. okay are you leaning in. mmmmmwah ! ok thats it

if i was in jurassic park i'd be fine because the dinosaurs would love me and therefore not eat me

This is - and shall be - one of my fav on-screen kisses of all time.

fun thing about herding and/or generally neurotic breeds: they are really good at following rules you have instituted, but they will also make their own Dog Rules they will follow stringently whether or not you like it

despite never being reprimanded for getting sick if my dog throws up she will ‘tattle’ on herself and run over to me, show me the throw up, then hide and start shaking uncontrollably. nobody taught her to do this. she has decided that throwing up is a punishable offense until the end of time

my dog has decided that it’s solely on her shoulders to ensure there is peace in my house…if the cats fight she stands between them to ‘break it up’ and/or herds them away, if my rats have an argument she goes to the cage door and barks until they stop. not sure why she has decided she must carry the weight of the world but she has

I can tell from the pattern of pee dots on your corduroys that you are a goal minded INTJ

anyone else remember being 13 on tumblr and every morning youd scroll down until you got to posts from the night before like it was the morning paper 

applying papier mache to the homie who fell asleep on the floor during the party and then using it as a mold to make a 1-to-1 perfect silicone sculpture of him which we place on the floor and gently interlace with him so it looks like he is sleeping restfully with the yin yang of his own somnolent form lol

Drink 2 negronis listen to breaking benjamin diary of jane. Try my recipe boy.