god's sleepiest soldier

u gotta keep bothering people until you find the ones that love it

I need $600+ for stupid toys

you may be losing the idgaf war but they wouldn't even let me enlist. on account of my poet's temperament.

DIVERSITY WIN! horrifying surgical procedure where a chip is implanted in your brain, severing your work life from your personal life, effectively dividing you in two, was invented by a woman!

for the first time in two years you're allowed to wear your own clothes. you get led to your own death and black out. you suddenly wake up to see your husband you haven't seen in two years. he's absolutely SOAKED in blood. you two embrace and kiss and then run down hallways and shove a dead guy out of an elevator. you black out again wake up to him ignoring your screams for him and going back to hell and walking away holding hands with another woman. happened to my good friend gemma scout

gemma is marks dead wife but mark is also gemma’s dead wife. huge