OiledUpSam

But slowly I stopped being depressed and I started getting angry. I stopped seeing him and cut him out of my life completely. The anger seeped into my every thought and though I accepted being single, I did it in a very harmful way. I began hating relationships and love and I secretly hoped everyone around me would be as unhappy as I was. I stopped believing in love and I was certain that I was incapable of ever falling for someone again. I was just angry and bitter and resented every couple around me, and the loneliness became constant, to the point where I stopped noticing it after a while.

But before moving to London I opened myself up to the idea of maybe meeting someone, and when I got here I became very impatient. After a very brief alcohol-induced sexual encounter during my first two weeks at uni, I decided that no matter how desperate I felt, I was going to be patient and I was going to take care of myself. I’m a couple of years older than most people in my year and I just started feeling too old for the casual sex, and realized that at a uni where 70% of the students are girls, I was in danger of sleeping with boys who knew they could fool around with as many girls as they wanted and I didn’t want to feel used again, so I stopped looking for validation through sex and decided to say no to myself till it felt right. I never thought it would to be honest. I’m not a very easy person to be around and I’m not the type of girl who has much luck with boys. 

But then there was this one boy.

He was on my course and I was attracted to him from the moment I saw him. He was very tall and handsome and looked super cool. I thought he was out of my league and I thought he knew it. I thought he’d never give a girl like me a second glance, but through a series of drunken encounters we started talking and talking and talking and talking and eventually seeing each other. We hit a few bumps in the road and lost each other on the way but now we’re in a relationship. I’m not going to pretend I’m not scared, I’m not going to pretend I don’t sometimes lie awake at night consumed with thoughts that he doesn’t actually like me or that he’ll realize that I’m too unstable and leave me, but I’ve decided to let go of the fears and give this stuff a second chance. He makes me happier than I’ve felt in years. He’s my first thought when I wake up and my last one when I go to bed. Hardly a day goes by where we don’t talk. He is caring, patient and smart and he makes me laugh so fucking much.

Retro Game Room Version 2 I needed to patch the walls and paint, so I thought I might as well change it all up.

23 different consoles and handhelds, about 450 old games. Framemeister xrgb-mini upscaler so it doesn’t look bad on a new tv, handmade custom MAME cabinet, and a fuzzy chair and fuzzy carpet :)