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@ohthatphage
Hello
I am a thing. A monster. A Law of Nature. A member of the Inmara.
I am very, very old.
I am going to start using this blog to reblog posts by @fenmere and @theinmara and have conversations with them. So, you will probably have seen me through their reblogs.
I suppose I have my own wiki page if you really want to get to know who I am:
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usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed
tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.
with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best
I've got to find myself more macrophage
Now Hiring: macrophages
@fenmere
Hold on. Just a moment.
*sigh*
Oh, come on. You're a megaphage. You're just what they're looking for.
And you roll me out like a CRT screen and a VHS player in a classroom for jokes.
And you love it.
That's true. Hand over the cold viruses, I guess.
usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed
tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.
with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best
I've got to find myself more macrophage
Now Hiring: macrophages
@fenmere
Hold on. Just a moment.
*sigh*
Oh, come on. You're a megaphage. You're just what they're looking for.
And you roll me out like a CRT screen and a VHS player in a classroom for jokes.
usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed
tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.
with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best
I've got to find myself more macrophage
Now Hiring: macrophages
@fenmere
Hold on. Just a moment.
*sigh*
If you use it/its or neopronouns, what do you say if, in real life (not online), someone you DON'T KNOW asks what your pronouns are?
I use it and/or neos AND other pronouns, and I tell them both
I use it and/or neos AND other pronouns, and I ONLY tell them it or neos
I use it and/or neos AND other pronouns, and I ONLY tell them my other pronouns
I ONLY use it and/or neos, and I tell them those pronouns
I ONLY use it and/or neos, and I tell them I use they/them
I ONLY use it and/or neos, and I tell them I use she/her or he/him
I use neos and I tell them SOME of my neopronouns but not all of them
I avoid answering/dodge the question somehow
I answer some other way
I don't use it/its or neopronouns, show results
If this has never happened to you, try to imagine what you would say if it did.
–
We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.
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happy pride month to it/its pronoun users ily
additionally, shout out to people who use it/its alongside other pronouns but never referred to as it/its because people prefer the more "socially acceptable" pronouns. I see you. I feel you.
Thank you.
Looking forward to having a talk with our therapist about this.
(My headmates referred to me as it/its, appropriately, and then our therapist insisted on using they/them for me.)
If I had to share headspace with a sliver of an elder God’s consciousness I actually don’t think my life would materially change that much
@funnier-as-a-system
There's, like, a whole set of in-jokes that become funny to you that you can onlu share with certain people you trust, and maybe a cereal you might not otherwise eat that you get a craving for every now and then, but that's really about it, yeah.
You can draw pictures of it, sometimes, but it turns out that everyone's seen things like that because it's just not as unusual as society will lead you to believe.
The secret is that *you* are the sliver of the elder God's consciousness.
ARE YOU A BONE OR BLOOD PERSON.
ARE YOU A VOID OR ABYSS PERSON.
ARE YOU A ROT OR DUST PERSON.
Newly realized plural culture wherein the host is a writer is: having a fictive who comes from a story you are writing and it feels like she may predate the story's writing by a bit, leading to the host to question if her over 700 years worth of memories, that you know about, were what caused the story to start being written.
(I hear that goddess of death is laughing at me rn as I submit this)
.
Mood
counterpoint: That feeling when your host(s) realize and finally admit that you're not a fictive.
several of my posts going around which feels like a good time to remind everyone to do not touch my posts if you are feeling ill, under the weather, foggy-headed, or even just a bit precious in that particular moment. my posts are delicate and vulnerable to infectious disease just like anyone else. reblogging a post under less than ideal circumstances or when in possession of a deteriorating mental or physical condition such as thermal entropy or french ennui can contribute to the semiotic decay of the post, rendering it unintelligible in as few as 24 hours -- sometimes less! remember: my posts have feelings too. my posts can feel pain too. thank you, and, i love you.
might as well just put "Phage DNI" in your bio, I guess
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I saw this and felt like it should be shared here too
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimes
#though did grimes really have a god of death lusting after her. i feel like that would've changed things somewhat
Although I object to the term "god", there are some that see me as a god of death.
And I did notice Grimes, but I could never get into her music because I felt like her singing sounded like a femme Cartman.
Does that count? I'm too ace to know if that's what lust feels like.
Conducting a social experiment to determine exactly how organic a living starship can be before piloting it becomes a vore thing.
Based on the notes:
"David, are you trying to start a fight" I'm genuinely just being silly. If I wanted to start a fight I'd be asking whether being the consuming party in a soft vore scenario constitutes bottoming.
@fenmere
OK.
If a Bussard collector can be described as a mouth that consumes interstellar gasses, and the Bridge could be described as being inside the ship, then the Sunspot is Form Agnostic and Function Radical.
But with Phage residing in the Sun Intake of the fusion drive, there's at least SOME form of Elementally Purist Vore going on there. "And, one day, when its lifespan is up, I will consume the Sunspot itself."
Oh, wait, we missed the comment meant to start a fight.
We must consult our chief of vore doms, @ohthatphage. One moment.
Phage. Does being the consuming party in soft vore constitute bottoming?
I have consulted with the Inmaran Counsel of Vore Doms, and we have determined that this is the funniest possible response that I can deliver:
hot take incoming but: I think I figured out why people shitting on Americans as a joke bothers me from the perspective of a black guy because like, it kinda erases how the culture of America is specifically built off of black and brown people, specifically black folks, native folks, and Latino folks and to try to erase that feels weird. this country is racist and horrible in every way imaginable so I see why people especially folks outside of America hate it, but to kinda categorize all Americans as white burger eating demons feels really weird to me? again as a black dude.
like, this also ties into so-called progressive leftist categorizing the entirety of the American Southern states as racist bigoted hillbillies which is not only erasing the majority of southern people of color and queer people (MAINLY BLACK PEOPLE) but it also feels disgustingly classist.
so yeah, it's ok to criticize America for its faults and how it fails its people and others around them absolute dogshit country, but could y'all do it in a way that doesn't feel like erasing the people of color who contributed to this country's culture or trying to separate that from American culture because that's just racism or being straight up FATPHOBIC.
it makes me uncomfortable how so many black and brown people have ingrained their cultures into America only for someone (probably a white person from the fucking UK) to water America down to Burger USA flag country that's only white and white only.
Me, talking to our brother's cat when my hosts were 15, making The Plans.
For a nighthag, I think I did pretty well.
The Sexual Development and Habits of Kepekapeans
I'm going through my notes for my own book, which I am working on slowly, and found this lovely tidbit about ancient Ktletaccete, known as Kepekapeans, from before they left their planet: ---
Kepekapeans are hermaphroditic by human standards, but vary quite a bit in what that means.
Some will tend to specialize their body in creating either ovum or spermatozoa, but this can and does often change at nearly any time. About a third of the population will be able to produce both simultaneously and can even fertilize their own eggs. Most people fluctuate subconsciously based on the needs of the local populace. While a tiny percentage will be stuck producing one kind of gamete for their entire adult life.
Most Kepekapean cultures don’t put much weight on this. Those that do are considered backward and dangerous by the rest of the world.
Sometimes a person can experience reproductive dysphoria, but changing sex expression is so easily done with hormones that treatment for it is readily available.
Actual mating is done in the spring, and people participate as they feel moved to. The urge and ability to reproduce is influenced heavily by pheromones not only produced by the adult populace but by adolescents and children. These pheromone signals are complex and not entirely dedicated toward inducing attraction. Many of them, especially those produced by children and adolescents, serve to inform the biology of the surrounding adults as to whether or not more fertilized eggs are needed (according to ancient evolutionary pressures).
Physical attraction is very rarely what draws people to mate with each other, since physicality varies so much between Kepekapeans. Instead, performances of skills outside of a person’s Art tend to be seen as exceedingly cute and alluring. In what way varies from person to person, and season to season. Some people find it more endearing if someone’s attempt to do something they are not familiar with is especially clumsy. While others find it alluring when they show a glimmer of grace, skill, and adaptability. And many people consider it the height of romance to travel with friends to other communities during mating season in order to hook up with people from other regions.
Mating seasons in various communities tend to resemble anything from craft fares to talent shows, full of all sorts of bizarre and silly performances and productions, including trash collecting contests and improv games.
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where are you from and how do you pronounce "Appalachia"
app-a-latch-a
app-a-lay-shuh
some other way???
Who is more powerful?
Mother Nature
Father Time
Me.
