Gonna be purposely an asshole on main again:
If people are trying to learn from their mistakes, no it is not YOUR job to teach them. No, YOU don't have to forgive them. But YOU still have a job here. Because if YOU want the behavior to stop, YOU are still a factor.
If someone is trying to learn or change, those who have the energy and love for people is allowed to be the one to spark it, but it's literally everyone's job not to be a dick about it. If someone is trying to genuinely understand you, isn't inciting violence, isn't being a major cunt, your response should NEVER be, "Oh my god, shut the fuck up you racist fuck, you should just fucking die." And I'm fucking sick of seeing it.
Ya'll are literally the ones inciting violence now. I'm not saying racism doesn't exist now, it certainly does and I will never say it doesn't. But the people trying to learn better, aren't the ones you should be attacking. I, living in the deep south, have never heard of someone having a "racist phase". That is likely said by people who are in rich, liberal areas trying to be "cool and hip" or just, not by white people at all. People around me don't walk on eggshells to talk to people, with anyone. My best friend's family is incredibly conservative, but many of their friends are other races or even other religions and they've never been ass holes about my being gay and they've known since they met me. Not a single person in my town acts a fool in front of the black person in public, and if they do it online, they get hella backlash from WHITE PEOPLE.
I'm not looking for a pat on the back, a pass into "your world" or whatever. I wanna stop seeing you fear monger your own people. I wanna stop seeing made up statistics of things going on NOW. I want to stop seeing people well meaning, trying to help you, being attacked on a post you make asking for white people to be more understanding.
I saw someone earlier today say that if someone ends up going back to something because "one person" was mean to them, they didn't want to do it in the first place.
How easy would it be, for you to enter the KKK? Be honest now, how easy would it be? Not very easy right, not only have you spent all your life being TOLD they were outwardly malicious towards you, you've likely SEEN it.
Now imagine for two seconds, this pasty white boy you're talking to has been told his whole life, up to maybe a week ago, that black people are disgusting, violent gang members who all want him dead because he's white. Yes, this is actually something I've heard someone who I know is racist tell their grandchild. Yes, that is WRONG to tell people. But guess what? The white kids are being raised with the same amount of fear mongering towards black people. The government is telling them they have higher crime rates against men and women, even if it isn't true. Their grandparents are telling them they're horrible people. And some of their churches are telling them they are lesser beings (though that is adamantly, unchristian of them and disgusting). So, no wonder some of these people are growing up this way. That's the TOLD here, from before.
Now, he learns a little bit better than that, see some protests, a few people in the crowd educate him and he realizes, hey, everyone I've known and loved has been completely wrong about this. Maybe I should learn more, look into the communities a bit and see what I can do to help. Then, as he tries to talk to more and more people, every single person cusses him out, calls him a racist, calls him human trash, less than human, that he should just die or that someone is going to kill him. He gets so many death threats. That's called CONFIRMATION BIAS. His bias, that he has been told his whole life is being confirmed. Just as, if you were to try and join the KKK, your own bias, of being told they were dangerous, would be confirmed.
Is the example less drastic than it could be? Yes. That's the point. Both are normal, human responses that EVERYONE regardless of color have, to every day occurances. A fear response, when you try to be better, but immediately get ganged up on and shoved back down. And ya'll, to put it in plain terms, it's bullying.
And keep in mind, I'm not talking about when people are being downright malicious towards you, you completely have a right to defend yourself and I'll defend that right alongside you if I need to, because I do understand that it definitely happens.
But if someone is just, trying to learn more, to understand better. You don't just attack. There's no attacking language, there's not threatening actions going on, just an innocent question. You're the one attacking then.
And of course, as all the post I've seen on here have said, if you don't act like this, it's not about you. But I am absolutely happy to answer any non-threatening questions about this, since i posted it to a public site with the full intention to start a conversation, not a one sided one. But one for both sides.
I will say, I'm still also learning. I was incredibly lucky not to have been raised around a lot of racism, especially with my best friend being black, and i know she wasn't as lucky as me, now that I'm older and I'm learning more. I appreciate the person on my last post about this subject who pointed out how insensitive my phrasing was initially, it was really helpful to be told, though you're absolutely right I shouldn't have had to be.
This post isn't supposed to be some rage post, trying to incite rage and violence. I just would like for people to, if they don't want to help, leave it alone. But if they want to help, help. I'd quote "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." But I've always found that really demeaning, especially if you've been actively wronged. I want ya'll to defend yourselves. We're all learning here though, it's hard not to take up arms when you've been treated badly your whole life. I mean, if you've ever been asked out as a joke, you'll probably get a little bit closer to the feeling. I purposely choose my wording on posts that I ask for advice on, because I don't want people to misconstrued my words as starting a fight or being racist. Because, and this is gonna sound really lame and awful and you're all gonna get me for it (and this lead up, because I promise, I can see the quoted comments now), i don't care what race you are, as long as you treat me right. And as long as it's a two way street, i don't think the majority of people SHOULD care. And honestly, getting out in the real world (not internet), most people actually don't care at all. As long as you treat them right, they'll treat you right.
So to end this long rant of a post I made cause what the fuck is a racist phase (seriously, I know what I said above, but I know the world is just like that sometimes and it probably wasn't made up, I just never heard it down here and I drive uber in multiple cities, so I see all kinds. My denial is supposed to be more disgust at the phrase, but i completely understand if it comes off differently, i didn't phrase it well, but i won't be correcting it mainly because it's a learning experience.) I would like to have a conversation about this, with those who are willing to have a real conversation. Not those who are tired of "educating", not those who will just insult me because I'm white (which, I mean, I'll just insert my ethnicity in here like the white bitch I am, I'm 3/4ths white, 1/4th Cherokee and Iroquois Native American, my mom's mom was the daughter of a reservation chief). The people who actually wanna talk about this and understand. Those who may be legitimately upset about what I've said here, which is kinda reasonable considering how I started it, but want to understand why it was said or even those who might want to share their own experiences. I'm open to that. Because that's still teaching, it's still me learning, people can and will still get something out of your story.
