🍊

whats agriculture

i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.

This is the opposite of a creepypasta

cozypasta

the f in frog stands for friendship

the r in frog stands for respect

the o in frog stands for optimism

The g stands for g a y

This is all forms of collaboration

This is the most honest comment I’ve ever seen

That very faint “Why’re you still eating the apple?” 💀

“It’s the first thing on the syllabus” 🙃

if you have not watched this you need to because this is the explanation for all the fuckery going on today 100% And it is funny funny funny

done broke my toes lads

pics or it didn’t happen

FISH NO

FISH PLEASE YOU COULD GET HURT

some ppl who grew up with siblings didnt rly Grow Up With Siblings. like if you and your brother are 10 yrs apart u just dont get it… if you had siblings within 3yrs of your age you had the genuine experience of primitive undeveloped human brains pummeling the shit out of each other because none of us have developed frontal cortices and the laws of man don’t apply in the confines of this house

This brought me instant peace.