GOD. still the funniest transition in the show bar none
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@leskenobian
GOD. still the funniest transition in the show bar none

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whatβs this genre of post called
9/11
In heated rivalry season 2 Shane should develop autoimmune encephalitis and ilya should gaslight him into thinking he's developing psychosis and manipulate him into killing and eating people
they should make a sleep that feels like youβve slept

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when you are mohamed salah greatness has no expiry and hoes stay mad
shooting straight into your heart πΉ
Remember when you'd turn on the radio and almost always Poker Face was playing
Back when God was still listening
A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.
Itβs years before anyone explains it to him.
People keep gifting him robes with long white birds on them.
The fun thing is he would understand why people were getting him outfits with storks on them. Thatβs a word, itβs his name, straightforward. All the humans get him the same gag gift, but like, theyβre putting effort in at least. This is a genuinely nice outfit. Stork will be a walking zero-effort pun sometimes, rather than waste a perfectly fine robe.
Itβs fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.
Six years in he finds out about the stork bringing babies.
Stork has a good long meditation session about this myth, his name, his job, the outfits, the whole shebang (or whatever Vulcan concept is the equivalent).
And he decides heβs honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.
The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down.Β
Plus, Vulcans of his generation loveΒ puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he isΒ a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans alsoΒ love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city.Β
And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families.Β
Thereβs no downside. Stork wears his robes, pins, keychains, and other bird-related tchotchkes with genuine pride.Β
YES ITβS BACK ON MY DASH AT LAST
For real though working together with some human social workers, a Vulcan would be an excellent caretaker for children in an adoption center.
Child has a meltdown? Imagine Stork, perfectly calm and unbothered, approaching the kid and sayingΒ βYou appear quite upset, Eliza. If you would please allow me to relocate you to theΒ βbean-bag-chair,β we can discuss the source of your distress.β
A Vulcan educated in medicine and child psychology would be endlessly patient with a kid with behavioral issues. Stork wouldnβt get or upset or frustrated. After all, these are children with medical and psychological conditions. It would be illogical to blame the child or to not treat them with the appropriate care.
Even if the a little one was having a bad day or was just overtired, Stork wouldnβt get angry. He might even be a calming presence. Any new kids acting out would learn real quick that theyβd have better luck trying to arm-wrestle a Klingon than get a rise out of Stork.
Not only that, Vulcans live much longer than humans. Imagine Stork looking virtually unchanged as decades pass. Kids heβd helped years ago would turn up fully grown, maybe there to adopt their own kids, and run into Stork, looking almost exactly as they remember him.
And heβd probably remember them too. βWelcome back, Eliza.β
ββ¦Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so logically happiness must slow it downβ¦β
Will reblog every time it crosses my dash ππΎ
star trek heritage post (November 14th, 2020)
Periodic reminder that the compiled tag I use on AO3 is βStork The Vulcan (fanon)β and so far there are 5 fics featuring him:
Heed The Stork
Thereβs Always A Chance and
Not Logical by MarlinSpirkHall (hi)
What Stork Brings by AfterIWake @mousedetective
One (1) Daily Shoulder Pat by Android_And_Ale @android-and-ale
Various iterations of this thread ^ have also been bookmarked under the tag for future reference π
Happy world adoption day :)
Happy world foster day :3
His cousin Spork works at the food kitchen.
you may have noticed that my blog is disorganized and thematically incoherent and my tag game is weaker by the day. this is commentary on the chaos of modern existence

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falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy
falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs
oof I got that bad bad brain atm
you gotta read, you gotta write, you gotta draw, you gotta watch films and shows. there is literally NO time to be employed
being on an airplane is a lot like being in kindergarten
I wanna hear where you're going with this
-there's snacktime
-there's always some kid screaming
-the authority figures are mostly there to keep you safe rather than get you to do anything in particular
-all else equal they would really rather you take a nap, though

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
"I feel like a distinction needs to be made between a bowl of mac and cheese and good old-fashioned romance pulp fiction"
"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s