When I started graduate school, I told myself I would work for an economic policy think tank. I read about them in an IR careers book. I chose this path because I thought it would be nice to be left alone to do my research. I am now getting ready to emcee a program at work. I do not like public speaking. I do not like running events. I can do copy and communications for such things, but I do not like this.
This is the 3rd job in a row that I am not happy with. I don't mean to complain, but I've already talked my fiancĂŠ and best friend's ears off. I do have to grow up and just start writing. All the life path and birth chart readings say it's not time yet, so it's hard to be motivated when it seems like I'll be in this funk for another year and a half.
There are people who say you can choose your own destiny or build the life you want. I think there's already a destiny for everyone, but everyone is responsible for how fruitful or terrible that destiny can be. I know I must read and write and learn and absorb in order for my destiny to be fulfilled the way I would like it to be. It's just really difficult to stay positive.
My friend says it is what it is and bills need to get paid so just continue doing things on the side. But what if I'm tired after the event planning and powerpoint making. What if I'm tired after muay thai and the gym. What if, for the past two months, I've gotten sick twice and it's messed with my routine. I want to be positive but I don't know how. Maybe it's my stubborn brain, but the wellbutrin doesn't feel like it's working. Then again, it's not a magic pill lol.
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