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I think every show should have a halloween special regardless of genre, tone, or release schedule

You meet god and she's mostly dead fish. You ask her why and she says most of the world is dead fish, and she's made herself to appeal to the most common denominator, the everyman funnyman comedy show that runs for eleven seasons but with the entire universe in mind. You ask her how much of the dead fish is your fault, she says it's far less than you'd think, in the grand scheme of things. You ask her if you matter at all. If you can do anything. She shrugs her rotting shoulders and says mattering is a made-up concept, like life, but sure, you can matter if you want to, on some scale. She has many scales. She doesn't know what you mean by 'anything', but you can do everything you can. You ask her if it's enough. She says there's no base requirement for deserving to exist. She's smoking a joint and the smoke filtering out of her gills gathers and forms gas giants and red dwarfs. You ask her if there's any hidden secrets of the universe you should know and she says it's not a secret if she tells, plus it's fun to let you figure it out yourself. You ask her if any of your questions were right questions and she says you worry about being right so much it might keep you from fucking around, which is as close to meaning of life as she ever bothered to make. You don't ask but she says she loves your hair, also your whole being, also your planet. She says she figured out what love is yesterday and is trying it out, which explains the ten thousand rainbows and sudden influx in rains of fish. She offers you a drag of her joint and you wake up half past midnight behind a chain restaurant clutching a smoked salmon. The new stars are winking like they're in on some joke and you're sure if you try hard enough you'll remember what it is.

for 2 years this post has appeared in my head every time I interacted with a customer service live chat. that great you can go ahead and order it.

btw to anyone who's unfollowing people for posting too much about the ongoing ethnic cleansing enabled by your tax dollars, i hope the nagging sense of guilt you feel right now continues to trouble you forever.

as we all know, Posters will stop the genocide and it is imperative we all help by Looking At Posts

you joke about it but for years people have lost their jobs and livelihoods for speaking online about palestine because that's how much the israel lobby values public opinion. there are entire organizations dedicated to doxxing twitter accounts that post about the occupation. maybe you dont think information matters but nuclear-armed states certainly do.

i love that motorcycles exist. like i'm genuinely so glad that someone was like "what if bikes were as fast as cars and could turn you into roadkill if you hit a pothole"

what if there was a vehicle so dangerous you had to wear armor to drive it

Violence set to happy music will never get old to me. Blood splattering to an 80s pop song is like a sister to me because I'm not allergic to fun.

We need more of the opposite as well. Calm and gentle activities like needlepoint or cooking set to angry deathmetal 🤟

you dont have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off, and while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the babys soft cartilage head into something a little more modern.  it might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but lets see where the dog is going with this