(no beers in) I lack a lot of the traits people typically define as human and on occasion it haunts me

You can print in black & white without depending on any of the other color cartridges

you know the wifi password and it hasn't changed

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

can we focus on the gnome for a second

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

EVERYOBODY GET DOWN HES TAKING A CREATIVE LIBERTY

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

eeeeuch i smell funny i've been smelling funny all day it's horrible horrible horrible

awful awful mix of sticky sweet and chemical and maybe sweat?? sticks in my mouth. nasty nasty nasty. thought it was my deodorant spray earlier but i've showered and idk what the hell this smell is. bad bad bad

can we hurry up and make it legal to have boobs out in public it's been too hot outside lately

there is something within me that i would like removed

there is something within me that i would like removed

i love to read a character's stoicism as awkwardness. yeah your posture is great and you're mysteriously surveying the scene but it's because you're stiff af and don't know how to approach anyone, right?

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

i need to stop crying when i'm mad everyone thinks i'm having a fucking emotional breakdown well guess what guys i'm about to emotionally breakdown these bathroom stalls. i'm about to emotionally breakrip the fucking sink off the wall. i'm so fucking mad i can't speak

like fucking clockwork