I wish i could have smoked my dog out just once before i backed him over

this girl must have pussy like a pizza bc Everytime she fucks me I have little seizures

oh boy i start my job as a wound man tomorrow can't wait to be stabbed, sliced, slashed, lacerated, eviscerated, bludgeoned, cudgeled, beaten with rods, beaten with irons, shot with arrows, shot with cannons, have spears thrown into me, have spears thrown through me, impaled on spikes, flayed, flensed, boiled, shot with arrows again, and have rocks dropped on my head

not to make a vent post here but like id understand if it was halo top or friendlys but if im bringing you hagen daaz or ben and jerrys and you still complain about how my basement isnt ventilated well or your chain is too tight then you just sound ungrateful. sorry

A windy day with a moderate temperature will make you feel like you got reborn into a world that really loves you this time

Thanks for coming in on such short notice. The other guy we were gonna torture for 18 hours called in sick