ward eastwood

“You can trust me.”

“No you can’t!” Elaine Burrows, in a terribly untypical fashion for the young woman, teetered back and forth on a bar stool as she pointed her drink accusingly at Ward Eastwood. 

“Don’t listen to him. He’s got good lines. That’s not even a good one so if you fall for it, you’re just utterly dense.”

“Who the hell is that?” the red head down the bar asked as Ward dropped his head into his hands.

“Would you believe me if I said my sister?” Ward offered

“His ex-girlfriend!” Elaine chimed in from her perch.

“She was dropped on her head as a child, you see…”

“Lies! Lies! Don’t trust him!” Elaine laughed, bringing the glass up to her lips and drinking the rest of it through the cocktail stirrer she was currently using as a straw– something she normally detested.

Despite his assurances that the woman down the bar was harmless, the red headed woman Ward had been chatting up was storming out of the bar and Ward was marching directly towards Elaine.

“You know, you said you’d just sit quietly and sober up,” he reminded her. Elaine was sure he was correct, but she didn’t honestly remember speaking those words. He’d found her stumbling outside the Clam Bar at a rather inappropriate time to be as intoxicated as she was and, after her repeatedly resisting his attempts at putting her in a taxi home, brought her to the bar and set her up with a pitcher of water.

“Another gin and tonic, miss?” the bartender asked, approaching the pair. Elaine nodded enthusiastically, but what shook his head to stop the transaction.

“You said you’d only drink water!” he exclaimed, grabbing her empty glass and sniffing it. “Good lord, Elaine, how many drinks have you had?”

“I have… four drinks on a tab for Eastwood,” the bartender assured him. Ward’s brow furrowed and Elaine giggled.

“Another round!”

“No!” Ward exclaimed, slamming down some cash on the counter and shoving it towards the bartender. Not waiting for change, he pulled Elaine off the bar stool, half guiding and half carrying her out to the street.

“Where are we going?” she inquired, her words slurring as she stumbled, Ward’s grip on her arm the only thing keeping her upright. 

“Home, before we have to get your stomach pumped,” Ward grumbled, waving down a taxi and half shoving her inside. He gave the driver her address as Elaine leaned into his shoulder. The world was spinning out of control but she wasn’t sure if that had to do with the alcohol or not.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” he asked once the cab started moving. Elaine shrugged in response.

“Nothing.”

“Elaine Burrows doesn’t drink low shelf gin in her tonics for nothing,” Ward pointed out. Elaine pushed herself away from him, resting her head against the window of the cab, silent. “Fine. We won’t talk about it.”

“Its never me,” Elaine said after a few moments of silence. “They never pick me.”

“Who?” Ward asked, looking up from his phone.

“The men I date,” Elaine explained,turning her head to look at him. Concern splashed across his face.

“…Are you talking about…” he began, but Elaine interrupted him.

“You? Oh, god, no,” she immediately replied, rolling her eyes at him. He instantly looked relieved.

“The painter? What’s his name?” Ward offered..

“Alan? Oh. No, not Alan.”

“Wait– you’re still angsting over Mr. Fix It?” Ward exclaimed, putting the pieces of the puzzle together. Elaine was silent. It was about James and the  rumors of him planning to propose to Natalie Connors that were all over town.

“Elaine, its been long enough with him, hasn’t it?”

Silence.

“Look, I could understand binge drinking away your feelings over someone smart, suave, and devilishly handsome like myself, but not Mr. Fix It. I can’t believe you even dated him in the first place.”

“You don’t even know him,” Elaine mumbled. Ward rolled his eyes at her.

“I know that he’s an idiot to have let you go… as if Mr. Fix It could possibly do better than Elaine Burrows,” he assured her.

“You’re just being nice because I’m drunk,” Elaine retorted. 

“No, I’m serious. You can trust me,” he replied, putting his hand on her chin to tilt her face up at meet him eye to eye. “Because I’m definitely not trying to sleep with you,” he concluded with a half smirk. 

“You’re gross,” Elaine grumbled in what may have been her worse comeback in years. Ward laughed.

“But you keep me around anyway!” he proclaimed as the taxi pulled into her driveway. Elaine fumbled with the door handle, finally managing to open it. “Need help?” Ward offered. She shook her help.

“I’ve already ruined your night,” she hoisted herself out of the car with a surprising amount of grace for someone eight cocktails deep.

“My night is just beginning, don’t you worry your pretty little drunk head about that,” Ward assured her as she cautiously walked towards her front door. “Hey, Burrows?” he called as she pushed the key into the lock.

“Yes?” Elaine asked, turning back around momentarily.

“I’m serious about everything I said.”

So many!!!!!! There’s a lot of them who haven’t ever even tried cooking at all???? And just kinda think food just appears for them??? Like Rowlin Stafford, Leck Quasar, Henrietta Allen, Ward Eastwood, Chase Hawthorne, Max Monroe, Renfry Moran, Cornelius Pembrooke, Lennox Stanford, and Harvey Wilder would all cook terrible meals (if they could be bothered to even try … which I don’t think any of them would be. Except maybe Ward when he’s trying to impress the ladies, but lbr he def thinks that having a five star chef cook a private meal for them is more impressive so …) 

I know that Roran DeGrey and Kara Larsson have both tried cooking and failed terribly (but they both keep trying ~*~thumbs up emoji~*~) 

I’m also thinking that ward might kinda have a thing for her? or had a thing for her??? like I think he honestly respects her a lot, too, and is intrigued ++ I think she’s honestly the complete opposite of the girls he’s dated/run in his social circle and yet she knows exactly what it’s like to live like he does and yeah. 

I feel like ward thinks she’s a total weirdo tho??? and is like????????? @elaine: why is your cousin like this????? and yeah, you’re right since he’s always seen her act this way, I feel like he has no idea it is b/c she has a crush on him??? as far as ward goes, I think he feels like she’s kinda amusing (he literally never knows what strange thing she’ll say next ;DDD) and he def hits on her sometimes b/c he finds her attractive but tbh she’ll always be the weird younger cousin of one of his exes and idk that he’ll ever see her any other way tbh haha 

and basically that was stu’s, like, ~initiation or way of checking ward out to make sure he was a quality candidate for birdie to be friends with??? and then every time he saw him after that conveniently had no memory of that ever happening???? honestly, if that’s the case i think stu would have literally no problem with ward. he’d probably think ward needs to make better choices but also feel like he’s an okay person for birdie to hang out with?

STU’S WAY OF ~INITIATION~ omggggg (stu as a brother is my favorite <3) 

so steve is bffs with wards sister so i’m betting these two at least know each other??? though idk how much pippa’s bros know about her ~feels for steve. do they know why she’s bringing all those pizzas home?? in which case they might feel differently about steve??

but omg he def rolls his eyes and loudly protests when she tries to get him to do weird health things tho???? not that ward eats horribly or never exercises but he’s never gonna eat a weird health shake or just run just for running’s sake??? like ...????? no????? 

but I can see her tricking him into running w/ her like if she dares him that she can run faster or longer than he can, then he’d be out there with her in like .234 seconds haha #facepalm

but yeah, either way I feel like john would probably give ward the stink eye tbh??? b/c he is pretty careless (even as a fake boyfriend haha) and he really thinks in the moment and mostly about himself and basically if john thought he was her real boyfriend there’s definitely a lot MORE potential for him to hurt her, but even as a fake boyfriend john will probably be concerned??? just b/c ward is just an absolute mess and right now, he honestly has every intention to see this thing to the end w/ her, but he also hasn’t thought this thing through completely and I can see him still going out with other girls and if that ever gets back to her mom that sally’s boyfriend cheated on her and they broke up because of it, could potentially stress out their mom even more than when sally didn’t have a boyfriend to begin with and smdh. idk how this is gonna turn out with sally/ward but I don’t think it’s gonna be good haha

“Again, Ian cannot know.  That would defeat the whole purpose of this,” he gestured broadly, which was meant to indicate that what he meant by ‘this’ was ‘this entire trip to virginia beach.’  

Lex’s tone was utterly conspiratorial but, seeing as he was rather tipsy, it wasn’t particularly quiet.  Thankfully, there was little danger of Ian overhearing, notwithstanding, since Ian was about halfway across the city from their current situation.  The bar, itself, was rather loud and, far from listening in, no one was paying them any real mind, which meant that the only unnecessary thing going on was Lex’s own conspiratorial attitude.

“I know I can count on you, man,” he added, clapping his friend on the arm, and sat back to look steadily at Ward.  “You in?”

The request Lex was drunkenly making was, essentially, that Ward represent Lex in a purchasing, while pretending to represent…someone else.  The reason for the subterfuge was the deception of Lex’s own beloved brother in what was perhaps a misguided effort to give Ian closure.  Lex’s aim was to buy the beach house Ian was putting on the market as Lex, himself, wasn’t quite ready for the same closure Ian craved.  

Ward didn’t quite understand Lex’s need to keep ahold of the house that his brother wanted to sell. Oh, he knew about the Connors and that Lex still had unresolved feelings, but Ward had never experienced anything at all on that level and, in all honesty, most of the way Lex had been acting in regards to all of that, still baffled him, but he'd never bothered to question Lex about it, either. It didn’t seem like something Lex wished to discuss more than he had to and Ward was more than willing to talk about anything else. 

“I’m in.” He said, slamming his (now empty) glass upon the table. 

Between this and his arrangement with Sally Bowers, Ward would be spreading lies all around Virginia Beach. It seemed an eventful way to spend his summer. 

“How long have you been here and this is the first time I’ve seen you?” she inquired, leaning back to look him in the eye. “And I have to hear from Liz’s roommate that you’ve been spotted in town… Its like a gossip magazine, going to Liz’s apartment,” Elaine rolled her eyes. “Come inside. Its hot and I can show you what an honest day’s work can amount to.”

It had been a slow day in the shop, but Wednesdays tended to not be a big shopping day in the bridal world. Ginny was at the computer at the front desk, peering over the monitor as the pair entered. 

“He’s mostly harmless,” Elaine assured her. “Ginny, this is my old friend Ward who apparently missed the life lesson that is entering a building when coming to visit a person. Ward, Ginny, my assistant manager. Don’t,” she said sternly, turning to face him and holding up a finger. “She has a boyfriend and they’re adorable… even if he is prone to knocking things over,” she flashed Ginny a grin.

“Ah, well you know how it is. I have so many people to see, that you can’t blame me when some are forgotten.” He laughed, watching her expression, “No, it wasn’t like that,” He added, sobering, “I haven’t been in town long: a few days really. I haven’t come around because I knew you were working and, for some unknown reason, it seems you’d rather be doing that than something more interesting.” He sighed, “I finally gave in and decided to come round: especially since there’s a continuous parade of lovely young ladies coming in and out your door.” 

Ward followed Elaine inside and proceeded to give Ginny a charming smile as he leaned on the front desk, eager to chat with her. Elaine’s warnings that she had a boyfriend didn’t stop Ward’s interest (if anything, it was piqued more), but Elaine had also raised a warning eyebrow and so Ward sighed, straightened, and followed Elaine further into the shop. 

“Here comes trouble,” she greeted, wryly, placing the card back on the desk.  It seemed she’d have to send it another time.  Her grin drooped slightly when he mentioned the lunch and she rubbed between her eyebrows.  Sally would deny it, of course, any chance she might get, but she was nervous about the whole affair.  Lying to a dying woman seemed pretty low, little less her own mother.  But it was for her mother’s own good, right?  Besides, she’d been lying for quite awhile now about her imaginary boyfriend…it simply seemed more likely that she’d get found out now.

When John had brought their mom in to see Sally’s work, she’d been startled and even more so when her mom, seeing Ward, had asked if this was her boyfriend.  She’d been even more surprised when the first thing out of Sally’s mouth was, ‘yes.’  Ward had displayed a tremendous amount of grace in going along with it, but one short chance encounter was completely different from this complete luncheon meeting.  As Ward asked if she’d put much thought into the lunch, Sally winced and answered ruefully: “Oh, believe me, I’ve thought about it.”  Dropping her hands, she came around to lean on her desk beside him.  His point still stood and, despite everything, she found herself laughing about it.  “This is going to be such a disaster, isn’t it?”

Rolling her neck to look at him, Sally narrowed her eyes before straightening.  “Oh, I made you some flashcards,” she said, suddenly.  On second thought, that notion had probably been ill-conceived, seeing as Ward didn’t strike her as a studier, but she went back around the desk to dig them out of the drawers, anyway.  For good measure, she decided to tell him what was on the cards.  

“So, we met through Nick, which should be easy to remember,” she added, drolly.  “Our first date was two months ago, I think,” she added, shuffling through the cards.  “Yeah, here’s the date,” she said, presenting him with the card in question.  “We went to Valerie’s.  Ummm, so basically any time I didn’t want to go to something lame, we had a date,” she continued, grinning.  “You haven’t been able to meet mom before now, though, due to your busy schedule of philanthropic work.”

As he said, ‘all of this,’ Sally smirked.  He wasn’t wrong, really.  If they were dating she would most definitely be hitting that, but one thing Ward didn’t need was anyone fanning his ego so, instead, she said, “Please,” and moved on.  Sally gaped at Ward in horror.  “Hey!  You can never have too many cats!”  That was definitely hyperbole, but Sally was indeed a cat lover.  At her apartment there lived two cats and two humans and that struck Sally as exactly enough.  Sally often told Birdie that they worked to support their cats’ lifestyles, but it was honestly worth every penny.  

Chuckling when he asked about his wealth, Sally shrugged.  “Oh, trust me.  She already knows.  When she asked how I’d met you, I said through Nick because…if we’re being honest that’s the only way I meet people and so mom instantly said, ‘Oh, honey, is he rich?’”  She laughed.  “I made you rich.  But I don’t actually know anything about all that,” she added.  “So I panicked and made you a snail farmer?  Yeah…I’m sorry and good luck, honestly.  I have no idea what a snail tycoon would do, but on the bright side, I guarantee you neither does mom.  I just remember phrases like, ‘There’s a lot of money in snails.’”  She shook her head, ruefully.

Coming to stand in front of him, again, Sally handed him the cards she still doubted he’d ever read and frowned.  “Oh boy.  Well, we’ve only been dating two months since, you know, I made you up two months ago, so…you haven’t said anything yet, but I’m sure mom will starting hinting about that soon,” she added, unable to stop herself from rolling her eyes.  “I’ll keep you posted on that front, but I’m really glad to hear you’re committed to this relationship,” she added, wryly.

Laughing, Sally sat down beside him, “Ummm, yeah, I think we need a relationship name, honestly,” she responded.  The thought amused her, and she’d been joking, but she realized it would also - strangely enough - probably be practical, as her mother would definitely be searching social media to scope things out.  “Honey, I am a celebrity in the high-tech security executive assistant world,” she teased.  “I think it’s clear we have to have one.”  She smirked when he gave her the options.  “Oh my God, why do our names sound like a bad sitcom when mashed together?  Ok, I’m more of feeling Easters.  I think it sets the right tone of religious awe that we clearly inspire,” she added, sardonically.  

For all of his teasing, Ward did take this seriously (or as about as seriously as he took anything, which wasn’t particularly setting the bar high). It would be a challenge: but the sort he could get behind. That being said, he wouldn’t be too devastated if it didn’t come off: he wasn’t especially close with Sally and he certainly didn’t care much about her mum. And there was that front row seat to the trainwreck that he held as the fake boyfriend in question. 

He picked up the flashcards that she’d written. He glanced over them as she spoke, but she was right: he hadn’t had any intention to read them. That was too much work and not what he had signed up for. He was, then, pleased when she started giving him the sparknotes version of her notes. He discarded the flashcards with disinterest on the desk. 

“Hold a second, I wouldn’t have taken you to Valerie’s. I’ve got better taste than that. I would have taken you to Salacia’s.” He paused, making a face “Wait, you haven’t already told your mother about our first date, have you?” 

He raised an eyebrow when she told him that he was busy with philanthropic work, “Well, she won’t believe that for an instant.” He said, “But then, if she believes that I’ve made a fortune in snails, then she’ll believe anything.” He paused, “I’m glad that that was an improvised answer to a question your mum asked -- and not some sort of weird fantasy. Still, you clearly need a lot of work in the area of lying if snails is the best you can do. Which doesn’t bode well for our relationship: as much as we make up, someone will always ask a question we haven’t thought of and you’d better have an answer that’s slightly more believable than snails when they do.” He paused, “Or, on second thought, let’s just leave all the talking to me, hmm?” 

He laughed, “I’m very committed to this relationship. I’m so committed that I’m willing to fake marry you and make you fake happy until the day your mum dies.” He was still smiling, not realizing how insensitive he was being: considering the fact that that day may be much sooner than Sally cared it to be. 

He grinned, “I think it’s because this entire scenario sounds like something that would happen on a bad sitcom.”