OCCIPUT EYE

The first dream, I'm traveling all over the place with my young mother.  She doesn't seem much older than me and doesn't look like it either.  She has the power to make me afraid of her though, so I'm always acting like I'm going along with whatever she wants.  Most of the time, we both seem kind of preoccupied with our own inner hangups - we seem a bit bothered, aggravated, not fully present, not relaxed.  Always like we are waiting for the next time we can relax, during which we don't really relax productively, more like we twiddle our thumbs/grind our gears doing something unhealthy like brooding or angsting about the next thing we have to be ready for.

Maybe we're on the run from something.  Anyway, I want to escape her, but I can't let her know.  I feel like a kidnapped hostage who has convinced his keeper that I'm not planning on escaping.  I fear that she'll hurt me.  I remember her pale skin and short, bouncy brown hair.  Her cheeks are full and her mouth is small but youthful.  She always has a bit of a frown.  there's something naked about her too, though I don't remember seeing her whole body nude.  I remember seeing her with a dark blue, choppy sea behind her.  The agelessness, the power, the nudity, etc, it makes me think she's a goddess.  How else can she not wear armour or clothes and still sit around unchallenged?

In the second dream, all I recall is meeting a woman with long, dark brown hair.  She's wearing a long dress with light olive green and white fabrics.  It has a lot of soft adornments like frilly hems and layers of fabric.  It's quite old fashioned but pretty.  I think she had glasses, too... and an unremarkable face.  She has a humble energy, like someone who does not have a glamorous or flamboyant energy.  It's a lot more... down-to-earth and steady.  I think she's wearing glasses, too.  I learn right away that she's the author of the Dionysos book I'm reading in my waking life.

He seems kind of anxious or agitated.  He's trying really hard.  There's unspoken tension between us, we're not on great terms, yet we're very focused on each other.  I'm not really an audience member so much as I'm more like... his judge.  He's performing for himself and for me.  He's really concerned about my opinion.  I'm about to deliver my judgment.

He finishes his song or whatever, and I only look back and shake my head: "It wasn't good.  It wasn't right.  Not good enough."  Now, my perspective is shifting between the two brothers.

He gets angry.  I can see it in his face and feel his demeanor change.  He gets distant, almost shrouding himself with a sheen of angry reaction.  He gets off the stage and somehow causes the floor underneath him to start cracking and breaking.  He's able to destroy the whole floor and he falls into the room below, an operating room where a surgery is taking place.  I snap out of my uber-stern fighting demeanor and hurry after him, anxious from all the commotion and the disturbance to the doctors performing the surgery.

The doctors back away from us.  I kind of feel like we're in the matrix - people aren't coming near, as if we were dangerous strangers from another dimension.  I don't really care, I'm just interested in calming my brother down.  At this point, things somehow get more gross and more petty.

He's acting like an out-of-touch serial killer.  He's picked up the body that was on the table, or somehow gotten another one, and is wearing it like a suit - just the skin.  He's trying to hide behind it like armour, like an excuse to not see me or himself, using it like a dumb and disgusting outer layer.  I'm horrified and disturbed.

Somehow, just by being close to each other, we're hurting each other.  There's a random knife or two, and we're both cutting each other; its so uncoordinated that it almost seems like we're accidentally nicking each other with sharp objects from the surgeon's tools.  I look at him and actually fling a knife right at his head, suddenly thinking I'm going to be the drastic hero who "ends" it.  But it just sticks grossly into the head of the body he's wearing.  It falls out.  I feel cuts on myself too - little ones that hurt, but don't really do lethal damage, although they cause me to stop and become annoyed.

I'm on a ship with a small group of other people.  We crash into an island.  The shore seems to be undeveloped and hard to walk over.  The island itself feels very rocky and hard; the plantlife is gnarled and dense, and there are dry-seeming and densely-packed trees in the forested parts.  There are huge cliffs and mountains that we identify as our target location.  I'm not sure why we have to climb the face of the cliff, but I carry along with my partners.

As Munchie, I watch the others attempt to make the climb.  No one makes it very high.  I feel like I'm reaching the lowest, and I have the most fear.  We aren't using safety ropes and my fingers are slipping.  I started crying a few times because the waves of fear are racking my body, destroying my trains of coherent, planful thought.  I sense some urgency in our group, which makes it worse.

I feel like there are natives, or experts, somewhere up ahead, waiting for us.  The idea scares me.  Are they competition?  They'll be looking down on us and capable of dislodging us as we emerge.  Why are we putting ourselves through this?

--

I'm in a city as myself.  It's a very metropolitan area, densely packed buildings and roads everywhere.  I've lost my party, but I feel unconcerned, as if I weren't very much a part of the group to begin with.  I'm a little weary because there are a couple of guys who I meet, who decide to threaten me.

When I first meet them, they seem like a couple of thugs.  they're white dudes, one shorter than the other, who seem like they're a couple of man-children: probably pretty old, but they behave like a teenage thug, sort of like the kind of stereotype drug addicts' presentation.  They appear dirty and mean.  I don't recall our exact interaction, but they end up threatening to kill/hurt me.  I eventually became so annoyed and incredulous that my bravado actually gets me away without any altercation.  I'm not sure the best way to act to diffuse such a situation; on the inside, I feel vulnerable and disturbed.  As I wander around the city, i'm still feeling afraid for if I see them again.  Something tells them they'll probably be even more inclined to target me if they see me, especially because I probably seem like mouthy prey.

I find a grocery store and go inside.  It's sort of like Whole Foods or some other wealthy urban chain.  At the back of the store, there's a small bakery section, where I linger in front of a display case.  There are a bunch of cakes that other customers have pretty much picked over, and a slab of coconut butter/oil?  Somehow, I scoop a handfull of coconut oil right into my bare hands.  I get the attendant's attention, and he notices my handful of coconut oil with a raised brow.

Himself, he is an older gentlemen; tall, Caucasian and flushed healthfully in his face, bald but for a few white hairs, bespectacled with round lenses, and in a white apron.  He asks me if I want a container for my coconut oil, or perhaps some actual cake.  I must come across as being a good candidate to receive some generosity, because he ends up scooping me a large portion of the carrot cake (looking kind of like its also picked over and falling apart, but still a large portion) for free.  

As we chat, somehow he informs me that he has a boyfriend/husband and they live together in a big house, where they like to entertain.  He invites me over to a barbeque the next day, and even shows me an invitation for it, even though no one but me is in invited and it wasn't planned until just that moment.  We go over the invitation; inside, there are cute chibi stick drawings of animals faces beside the details of the barbeque.  

I'm Dionysius and I'm also someone else, from an outside POV, looking at him.  

Dionysios and Athena are together in this scene.  They're both traveling at great speed across some kind of desert, on their way to some destination.  Athena is in the air, flying above D, looking down at him while flying, so she's more or less flying backwards.  It's as if she's guiding him.

D on the ground, is very active.  Sometimes it's like he has more than 4 limbs, and sometimes it seems like they are super-length.  He's kicking up a lot of dust and generally seems quite chaotic.  I get this sense that he's conquering or doing some kind of conquest, war-like, although I don't quite see violence or death.  But he seems quite lucid and in touch with Athena.  Neither of them lose speed or seem to break connection with each other, as I notice their faces stay pretty level and visible at all times.

I only remember a couple moments towards the end of the dreams I had last night. 

I'm in a large, multi-floor mansion that has been decorated and cleaned as if a classy person/family lived there.  There were softly-lit lamps on and warm, woody hues.  I could see through a few windows that it was night outside.

My attention falls on a large painting in between two tall windows.  It's about 5' tall and depicts Saturn, a mythological figure who seems to be a mostly-naked, muscled man with a beard.  Then it seems that some unseen consciousness wants me to notice the other objects around the painting.  At the foot of the painting, on a couple small end-tables and on the floor, are several cages that I notice as well.  It seems like the other "consciousness" might be a woman, but its fairly androgynous.

In the cages are birds and a few kittens.  Especially the kittens, the consciousness prompts me to see and recognize them.  The birds are light-coloured, perhaps like tropical pets.  They have an airy, pastel quality to them.

In a parking lot, I'm with Julia's family, Julia is nearby, and we are loading up the family vehicle with groceries, having just finished a big grocery trip.  I don't feel particularly welcome; in the back of my mind, I remember that recently, I had a little outburst at some people who know Julia's dad (see earlier dream), and I feel like it may have the potential to bite me in the ass.  In general I just feel like I don't quite belong, and I may not even be welcome or wanted by anyone other than Julia for the moment.

I get the idea to make a smoothee.  I go to the back of the car where the smoothee base is, and I bump into "greg".  I offer him a smoothee when I see his grouchy face and he relents and says he would like a strawberry-banana smoothee.  I feel like I've kind of tricked him into helping me get what I want, but I am also genuinely looking forward to making a big double-portion for sharing.  I have to go around to the front of the car, the driver's seat, to find the dirty smoothee jug attachment.  I am washing it as best I can with limited sink-capabilities (?), when Zeus approaches from the back of the car, announcing that there is no time for smoothees, and he closes the hatch, terminating the prospect of smoothees.

In the car, I'm thinking about the little episode I had with the Fisher Enterprises employees, but no one brings it up.

We eventually arrive at the large house in Abbotsford my father used to live in.  We're going to have a big dinner together, and the table is all set and ready in the dining room.  Before dinner is about the start, I'm called into a small room down the hall by "Julia's brother", who does not resemble any of her actual siblings.  The room is in the first door on the left down the hall, right before the bathroom and bedroom, and is very small, like a utility or laundry closet that's been packed with lots of stuff.

Julia's brother is about 13 or so.  He hands me a card first.  I open it and read the inside: "It's OK to work for a form of Christmas"

I'm not sure what it means.  I puzzle and look at him for any clues.  He doesn't say anything and doesn't really move his face much at all, so I accept it and keep going to look at the three presents he has for me. 

The first is a medium-sized, oval stone, silver and bluish.  It's kind of flat, heavy, and mostly smooth.  It's the biggest of the three.

The third stone is a dusty rose colour, pale and of similar size to the first, but a little smaller.  It has carvings in it that he did in a class, I assume.  The carvings are of little feathers, like he had started to carve the stone into the shape of a wing.  In fact, I can really see the wing structure well.  It's beautiful to me.

The last stone is a little smaller than the second and less finished, but similarly also has little feather-shaped carvings in it, placed thoughtfully as though the entire stone could become an anatomically correct wing sculpture.  It is a light grey colour with little flecks of yellow.  Looking hard into the little feature scratchings, I can see where the quality of the stone's hardness changes with the colour, little bits of sparkly grit collecting in the tiniest feather-shapes.

In my dreams from last night, I was in the company of a group of people, a family sort of.  Sometimes it reminded me of my father's house and his family, and other times it was Julia's family, and I was tagging along with her.  Finally, there was a time towards the end of the dream where the characters no longer resembled Julia's family nor resembled my own; "Zeus" headed the family, and we all ate together in my father's house.

Earlier in the dream, I find myself with my elementary-school-age-friend, "David".  He's a Chinese guy who doesn't say very much, in general he is very private.  He's not that popular, but not too popular to avoid me, who might otherwise make him even less popular.  It's hard for me to keep up my seemingly strong and impervious exterior as I follow him around through the city.  I feel like I have a younger energy, like I haven't yet run out like I will when I'm older, due to holding in so much anxiety and other negative emotions from feeling so isolated and like I do not belong, am not wanted anywhere. 

David's family name is "fisher" in the dream, for "Fisher Enterprises", a successful business run by his father and partners.  David and I travel to a floor in a highrise owned by Fisher Enterprises, and enter one of the suites where some renovations are being finished.  His father's partner is there, along with a couple of other older, professional seeming people.. "upper echelon" sort of personalities.  There is a young woman dressed in a fashionable skirt suit, and the other person is in a long grey-purple robe.  We don't really talk to them.  Instead, I stick with David and tour the room.  I look down at the windowsill and see some glass, or crystal, and some new solar-energy collecting technology being installed.  It looks clear and beautiful like most artistic design in modern urban settings does.

I'm in my apartment during the day.  I'm in the bedroom and my mother and Julia are in the living room/main area.  I'm just getting ready to receive Janet, whom has just agreed to come over and do a session at the apartment; this has never happened before, and I feel surprised but glad.  She arrives shortly and joins my mother in the living room.  They are both sitting on couches or something, and I'm about to go in there with them, when Bryce arrives, who is a mutual friend of mine and Julia's.

When Bryce arrives it is a surprise to me.  I'm displeased with Julia for inviting him over at this time, irked slightly because the apartment is small and already kind of crowded; also, there is some other reason that I think she "should have known better" or "could have known better" than to invite him over at such a time.  At first he gets right up in my face in the bedroom when he arrives.  I contain my feelings of frustration and being infringed upon in my personal space, and successfully manage to focus on some other focal point, to just ignore what is bothering me about the situation.  I also note that I should not be too negative because Bryce hasn't done anythign to deserve that from me if I can help it.

Fast forward and I am on a bus, Julia is beside me, and we are driving through a "nice" neighbourhood during the last part of the day.  The light seems to be just about to become dusky.

There is a huge yellow snake beside me.  He's very close to me, coiled around a metal pole that passengers hold onto, most of his body up high at the level of my shoulder/head.  He seems to really prefer being close to me, like a pet cat who would rather not be outside the home.  I have a little red ball that fits into the palm of my hand, and I am using it to "play" with the snake: I hold it up to him or toss it onto the ground and he follows it, fetches it, and gives it back to me gently.  He also "purrs", but silently, although somehow I can sense that his body is giving off this "purring" as if he were a comforted cat. 

Eryn is investigating me using her inner sense a little, although we aren't terribly well-connected.  I'm thinking about her "healing" abilities; what are they? what happens to your experience as the heal-ee if you are healed by using these abilities?  And I believe she's presently attempting to use them to help me.  As I relax and wonder about it, I can feel the natural inclination of the healing to take place.  It's like her natural inclination/talent to cause the healing is being triggered by my receptivity/interest in it, and they are forces sort of interrelated and triggering each other.  It's kind of like just learning to relax and stay focused on being calm and open.

Julia beside me isn't saying anything.  I feel like she's jealous, and it's a little cause for me to stop and think about it, but I do not spend much time doing so.  I feel like it's an automatic process, she has been triggered and is being carried away with it.  I can relate and sympathize.  But however I sympathize, I can't really afford to spend too much time dwelling and/or catering to it, because it stagnates the work I could do with Eryn.  It's good to be sensitive and help I believe, but I feel like it's good to know when it's no longer good to use the time to sympathize, especially when the time is right (all the forces have come together and are waiting) for healing. 

The jealousy kind of distances us, as jealousy does.  But I want to help myself too, for the sake of all my relationships, so I leave that alone for now and return to addressing Eryn.  Mentally, I try and meet Eryn again.

Eryn kind of "waits" when I recede and close up in response to things in my mental/emotional surroundings.

But she's not obligated to wait for very long since she doesn't have a vested interest in me.  So if she waits too long, the connection will be washed away, like all unused connections seem to get harder to use the longer they aren't used.

The theatre disappears and now i'm in a small downtown shop, and Eryn is the shop keeper.  There are shelves lining the walls and maybe one in the middle of the floor, though I don't recall what was for sale.  There's no one else in the store but her and I, and it is lit by the daylight coming in from the windows.  outside, we're downtown in some urban part of a city; a road is lined with tall buildings that have lots of windows.

I recall getting kind of connected with her: we were chatting, she was getting relaxed, and her demeanor kind of relaxed too, from the usual professional exterior she has.  She started to melt that exterior and treat me more like a friend or equal.  The dynamic between us is now different from how I am naturally inclined to enact.  But as I pay more attention to it, the dynamic began to revert to how it usually is.  I feel as if I am trying hard to keep an old "script" from rising up and becoming active to dominate my behavior and interactions, but by thinking about it, I am also awakening it.  It comes up from under me, fully awake and in solid form.

Eryn notices the shift and immediately comments on it, on the disconnection.  She says I'm "running away", and insinuates that it's hurting our work together and hindering our relationship from taking a better form.  I appreciate the feedback although I'm embarrassed and ashamed for letting it happen.  I feel appreciative of the chance to become aware of it and hopefully improve more with more chances in the future. 

This whole dream feels like its taking place on an island or something.  So night has fallen, and I remember seeing the ocean, and regarding the sky, especially after being gestured to the storm billowing over the one part of the caravan.  That one part was hulking, moved slowly, and reminded me of some of war vehicle... or armored elephant... but it was more like a hollow structure than a muscled, thick, opaque beast that "elephant" suggests.

Anyway, I am on a playground the next I remember.  Roxas is there, or I am Roxas.  There's sand and play equipment.  There is a new character, "Animal" from the muppets.  The central theme right now is about this tendency of his to be violent and uncontrollable, which has been the reason for his containment in the past.  We get an eyeful of what it looks like: before long, he jumps on the back of someone/something, and starts to insanely destroy it.  But the catch is that once he starts, the destruction spreads around his object of dismemberment to the environment too, and everything in it.  actually, it all happens so fast that suddenly the entire world has been destroyed, sucked backwards in time almost.  I watch the Earth and the whole universe get sucked backwards and everything is black except for the soft glow of what looks to be an infant universe.  Little clouds that look like wings or arms feebly float up around a central point of murkly nebulous glowing energy.  I feel a little nervous/sick/worried in the pit of my stomach.  Someone else is with me, and I forget what they said.  But they seemed to be removed from it, and already aware of this part of "Animal", and maybe they were there to explain to me calmly what was happening.  It all seemed reversible.  The fast-flow of time backwards kind of implied that events could go backwards or forwards.

Anyway "Animal" was no where to be sensed and we were just floating consciousnesses in space.

For instance, riding on bikes through the neighbourhood, Roxas and another boy.  Axel rides by also, kind of hanging out with someone else.  The way he behaves is as if he's trying to get a rise out of kids that he's bullying, riding up and not stopping, throwing something at Roxas.  But what he throws is actually an illustrated drawing - a sigil or a character design? = it's actually a cool drawing.  But he also throws a box of dental floss.  Roxas seems annoyed at Axel's behavior and we ride on.

Later, at some party or social gathering in the neighbourhood, one of us comments on Roxas and Axels relationship while we are alone.  Maybe we were riding through the empty neighbourhood, actually.  One of us frowns, not really understanding it at all, another one (a younger me?) laughs, confused.  But the concensus is that those two have been together for years, they are lovers who have just reached some kind of weird level.  Also, they still act like young kids.  Like boys and girls who don't know how to really be with each other on the playground cuz they're too young to know how girls and boys play together maturely.

At the party, Axel shows up and comes up to me (Roxas) and starts interacting with me, or perhaps it was someone else... and I was watching.  He picks up Roxas or makes the gesture as if he would be picking up Roxas, and kind of playfully tosses him onto the invisible hard-on he has.  The joke is that he could toss and land right onto the dick.  It seems greatly funny to Axel.  It feels like he slipped in through the group, the other cliques, and got through to Roxas who might not find him to be entirely comfortable...

I remember also seeing the ocean from the window/door.

Here is a note from the abyss.  I have not been updating at all, however I have been going to bed every single night, hoping and encouraging myself to retain memories of dreams after I wake up the following morning.  Assuming this will help me, of course.  Maybe it's not helping as much as I want it to, but it's helping a little bit?  I have to admit I come back to the suspicion that cannabis has a very big influence on whether or not I easily remember my dreams.  I smoke a lot... and remember very little.  I used to remember a lot... and smoked not much.

I barely remember any of last night's dreams contents, a very small fraction compared to what I "sense"; a rather large object under a curtain, that's what the dreams feel like.

---

Close to waking up:

I remember being in a room with dark walls, possibly dark blue.  Julia is on the other side of the room, talking to me.  I can barely move, and I can also detect that I have multiple, simultaneous POVs, ie alters; namely, there is 1 masculine presence and 1 that is more feminine?  Julia is talking to me/us, and addressing me as "Sylvia", with a voice usually reserved for speaking with young children.  I am feeling somewhat dull, as in not quite fully aware, and I do not immediately know who "Sylvia" is.  I assume it's the name of a young alter.

I cannot really respond to her.  I can however, detect my "selves", and we can detect each other somewhat.  It is as though we are waking up from anesthesia slowly; for now, only our eyes can move, and our minds can move, albeit slowly.  We exchange information with each other: "there is Julia", "Julia is talking to 'Sylvia'"; "Julia appears to be talking to a little girl, and does not know that we are also here".

missed my plane to korea

very tight security

there was a korean boy transporting us and acting as our guide sort of.  He was kind of quiet and a little taller than me with a bit of a golden tan.  he was transporting us in a rickshaw sort of, and when we were about to scale a very steep hill (up 100 ave towards my mothers house, in surrey), I felt obliged to help him tow the others, so I got out and we both dragged the rickshaw and the others up the hill.

There was a piece of raw meat which was in question for some reason.  It looked like a thick cylinder of liver, raw and soft.  I produced it while we were halfway up the hill and somehow, I cooked it.  The boy tried it.  There was also another food exchange, perhaps of a piece of fruit of apple-like banana? 

I remember that he was very unassuming and cooperative, quiet, and just wanted things to go smoothly.

I also remember Korea becoming a more important subject while we were almost up the hill.  I think it had to do with my impending flight, which I am starting to remember as being a flight into central/northern Korea in order to visit a school?  That perhaps the boy usually went to?  It sounded like a very strict military school, where harmony is prized over individual freedom of expression, and there is very high standards of conduct in general. 

Now I don't really remember what happened... but there was a Korean girl with chin-length, wavy black hair in our group the next thing I remember.  We were no longer on the hill.  There was a small group of us and the only thing I remember is reflecting on the fact that the wavy-haired Korean girl was so quiet that suddenly it seemed like she wasn't there at all.

I also recall being checked by formal, orderly security gates and personnel before being admitted to carry on with my Journey into Korea.

---

In another dream, I recalled there being a man and a group of younger girls, each in a very colourful, cute outfit.  He himself did not really stand out; he had orange, short hair in a plain haircut and a forgettable outfit of dark green slacks and some combination of loose dress shirt and vest or something.  He seemed to dress stylishly in general though.  He almost always had a relaxed expression and a comfortable smile on his face, and in my opinion I think he seemed to 'know' something, or to have some kind of 'Ring Leader' role, presiding over the group of little girls.

The girls were not human, and had some kind of magical power, evident because they could disappear and reappear on command, followed by signs of magic (glowy and sparkly shit).  I assume the guy wasn't human either.  Whenever I saw them, it was as if from the perspective of a fly on the wall, so I also feel like they were doing something in secret, or apart from the knowledge of the other key players in the dream (whom I mostly forget now).

In one particular scene towards the end, I saw as if from the ceiling, looking down on a dining area inside a casino or resort hotel or something.  The carpets were red, the tables were long and narrow and draped with white tablecloth, and the orange-haired man was seated by himself at the table, alone in the scene.  He seemed calm and content about something, maybe hiding something.  Then, the group of girls appeared around him, cozy and adoring (one was draped over his lap and/or coiled through his arm or something) if not seated very close together in their group. 

I had the feeling this was a meeting to discuss something that only they knew the truth about.  Perhaps they had been planning to do something and were in the middle of executing it.  But I could see on the faces of the girls, at least some of them, that they were not totally thrilled by it, in the way that little girls might not be very thrilled to do housework.

---

The last dream fragment, starring Sailor Moon, perhaps a couple of other Sailor Scouts, and some kind of "God of Thunder".

My memories begin in the middle of an intense battle between Sailor Moon and the God of Thunder.  The two of them were facing each other, alone in a very dark setting, on hard, dark ground, against a very dark and murky sky.  I sensed that we might be on some disaster-damaged island or otherwise cracked and scorched, rocky sort of land.  Smoke and clouds billowed with the increasingly hostile actions of the God of Thunder.

The God was a man who looked like he'd gone to live in the mountains 1000 years ago and never died, only became more hunched, yet muscled and sinewy, scraggly bearded, bald-headed, grimy and detached from humanity.  He was enraged and his sunken eyes pierced through all the smoke and destruction, crazy about laying waste and killing Sailor Moon for some reason.  His skin and tattered loin cloth were smeared and filthy with sooth and sweat.

Sailor Moon felt like she was a poor match for the old God because she didn't have his berserker rage or his killer instinct, but she was holding her own in that she hadn't sustained much damage.  She was greatly distressed and her mind searched for possibilities, how to pull it all off and lay rest to the battle and the angry God.

There was a lot more to the dreams within with the above happened, but I apparently wasn't up to getting it all down.  Funny, because all throughout the day to come I would recall different parts of the dream.

(The following is the unedited result of my desperately trying to write a dream I had just woken up from.  It was quickly disappearing; the more awake I got, the less of the dream I retained, so I had to get typing even though my brain was still partly asleep.  Hence it ended up hilariously incomprehensible, but the process of getting the gist down like that is important for remembering more of the dream later.  It's now possible for me to edit (if I want) and thereby revisit the memories more carefully... but its kind of funny in its current frankenstein form):

I was first downtown in a dark city lined with shops, trees and many residential districts.  I got assaulted by someone who robbed me after luring me to him with the promise of an umbrella, which I needed.  I went to him for the umbrella and he grabbed me and wrestled me I think.

I went down further into the city after that, to a gas station and complaiend to someone in there about the assault.  

Outside, I got into a car that was being driven by a woman.  Actually it was a white van without wndows and she said, sure get in although I have some “of my guys” in the back (hope thats ok).  I just got in.  I think they were homosexual prostitutes.  They seemed like nice people.  We passed a couple clubs.

Then the next thing I remember is driving down through many of the residential neighbourhoods.  There were many thick stemmed trees and it was a hypnotizing drive.

The next thing then, I was inside a grocery store with a friend or two.  I dont remember what they look like.  We were practising a secret way to exit the grocery store in order to embark in a private journey together; we had to leave the store in a way without being noticed or else it wouldnt work, or the staff would thwart our private journey.  With some effort, I managed to successfully leave.  We were using special walking sticks that had jagged spear like things coming out of them, like skiing poles or something…

Outside the side of the building, we exited into oncoming traffic and bumped into an older gentleman who we knew.  They tried to come with us and we had to perform out grocery-store exit again.  We did so successfully.

Then our little party managed to get on our way finally.  We were trying to look inconspicuous to everyone who might be looking out for us; people in the streets, in the shops, in their cars; and navigated gravelly shoulders of the roads as the cars drove, with out walking sticks and each other (3 of us I think).  We walked a long time, until we were on the outskirts of town and it was daytime eventually.  There were trees all around and open sky, as if we were hiking inland, away from a coastland, deeper into forested area and mountainous area.  Indeed, there were steep inclines and less business development the further we went.  Evetually it was just trees and a single road or two, not much traffic.  The air was colder and the environment was brighter.

There were very steep and gravelly (light/lavender blue coloured, grey coloured rocks) passages to get past as we finally left the roads and cars behind us.  It was very quiet, like a private park or climbing/camping area that only daring people went to, or loggers when it was in season.

I had a sense we were following something very important, like an inner map in my mind; we were walking slower and slower, looking around, confused and not sure where we were supposed to go or end up, but sure that it was leading us this way.  I remember looking down finally to a very steep drop off: it dropped off a cliff, to a plateau surrounded by trees.  The plateau was about the size of a classroom and had a steep cliffs on all sides, like it was a pillar-like object or a mountain with its top shaved off.

We all looked around for a while, dumbfounded by beauty.  Then suddenly, I noticed another plateau nearby with lots of people sitting around in a small group, together.  There were little, narrow, natural stepping areas that formed a way I might have been able to use to get to them, but it looked dangerous, so I just observed it.

They noticed us and we spoke to them in greeting.  I had a feeling they weren’t like us but I didn’t really know what that feeling meant, so I didn’t say anything about it.

One of the young men addressed a party member of mine, while I spke to a girl.  She was telling me about a little gold star ornament she had saved from Christmas time I guessed, and I said - wow, thats beautiful, what a good idea, saving it from christmas time!  my own (a star we had for the same reasons? having to do with dreams?) was not quite like hers.  Hers was gold and very shiny.  She was deeply flattered by the compliments and said “I jst want to put gold on everything” with a smile.  I noticed out among the trees that some, or at least one of them, had a little star on its topmost tip, and I said something about it to her, noticing it out loud.

Then the air changed from good to a little less than good.  My party member wanted something from them, I forget what.  I was trying to diffuse the situation as my female friend noticed and got up, getting defensive.  I said “lets calm down, we have to listen to them, they may not be like us but they have desires and wishes at least like us, so lets respect them, ok?” I desperately wanted to stay and communicate.

But our two groups were now leery of each other, and we were all standing now, eyeing each other.  It was decided that we had to leave.  

We were arranged against a wall of the mountain/earth, into special sleeping bags that required we prop most of our bodies up against the mountainside 90 degrees to our body, which rested on the ground.  (legs flat against the mountain wall).  The lead boy and girl were seeing to our zippers closed up and night was falling; it seemed like they did not find us that dangerous, because they were “tucking us in”, it seemed like?

One other member of the group, a female with long wavy hair: I remember an image of her, like a ghost, wavering and looking scared as she shouted in fear, her image being sucked into a little bottle held by my party member.  The leader boy of the group looked very alarmed at once and questioned us/me - what did you do?!  I reassurred him nothing, it was just a memory we were bringing with us, and indeed the girl who shouted in fear was safely among his group and said “I’m just fine” to him, when he went to check on her.

I recall then that we were drifting to sleep, away from them.  In our sleep, I caught visions of beautifully manicured gardens on lush green lawns, deeply hidden, away in valleys and on the sunny mountainsides of the forest we were in/the mountains we were in, way beyond thick, unnavigable forest.  I saw the sun growing dimmer and the light getting darker, more like the light of dawn (frigid, white light, foggy), and then my POV dove a bit into the trees.  The trees and platforms all dislodged from their roots, as if they were part of a mechanical puzzle, and mixed with each other rapidly, as if scrambling their locations in order to prevent anyone from coming the same way as my party, to find their whereabouts.

—-

I then thought I woke up in my house.  I felt like I desperately needed to try and record something, anything about this dream.  Then I heard Julia in the house, and she entered through the patio door/deck/back of the house; it was then that I realized I was in my father’s old house, a house I grew up in from 4-6 yrs old or so.

Julia was trying to distract me by talking about a bunch of different things, and trying to get me to put the computer away, to not write.  I was finding her really uncharacteristically agitating at this time.  I found her downright annoying - then she sat down beside me on the bed and I todl her finally, “I really want to write this dream down”.

I'm in a classroom.  This classroom reminds me of the classrooms in the newest wing of my elementary school, which I attended grades 6 and 7 in.  This classroom is full of children.  I also have this sense that the classroom goes further than I can really see; I can't really explain it, but I sense the presence of a large, out door territory that is somehow accessible from inside this room.

I come to one "island" of desks that form a small group of about 8-10 children.  One girl is asking me about witchcraft, and about the objects that are chosen for rituals and creation or something.  I answer her that the items were very, very important - almost one of the most important things, taken the most seriously anyway, by a "witch". 

From that, I start thinking and talking about gardening.  I must think it is a natural extension of the subject, or I may even think it's somehow the same subject.  I explain about the often beautiful and well-tended garden a witch would have, and how part of witch culture includes the sharing/trading of plants with each other in order to gain more and more diversity in their individual gardens.  In my mind, I imagine clutching a bunch of dirt around the roots of a plant I had taken out of a garden, preparing to give it away for someone else to grow.  The girl I'm explaining too seems to be interested in what I'm saying.

I've been smoking a lot of weed.  I had suspected in the past that smoking weed inhibited my dream recall, so I shouldn't be surprised that I haven't been able to get good dream recall lately.

But I did have one lucid dream, about a tall, blonde, pale-skinned woman in a long, white dress.

She was in a forest in the winter.  The sky was dark and full of stars I think, as well as a quarter moon in the shape of a quarter-circle (a literal first or third quarter moon I guess).  The forest were full of coniferous tress, and its floor had patches of white snow.

The woman was able to control the winter in the forest, so she decided to make it colder all of a sudden.  When she did that, the quarter-moon started to expand and eventually became full, going clockwise.