i tend to avoid discourse because most of it is trite and pointless but just this once i feel like i need to state my opinion: i think everyone should bend to my dark and evil will

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.

a hometown is a type of dead wife

well well well if it isn’t the obvious truth which i have been running away from as fast as i possibly can all this time

“covered in blood” is an ideal state for a girl to be in if you see a girl covered in blood you know she is having a good time

I LOVE MY THE CHARACTER

get that thing at your side under control it was clearly fantasizing about dismembering me. "bodyguard"? we both know that's not what it is

*sigh* why am i better than everyone

everyone is always fighting and hurting each other. i will put an end to this through conquest and subjugation

couples tshirts that say "god won't let me die" and "I'm god"

i wrapped my heart up for u in foil in case you want it later it's in the fridge