fuckkkk my sacrificial lamb has started hanging out with the scapegoat

I love that this joke works in English even though it's not written in English.

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

do cars have shoelaces?

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

They are both doing the "I want" chitter. They very much want to get up, but they have a sleeping baby cuddling with them. They must endure, but they will not be silent about it

Well well well, kitties. Looks like you want to get up but there's a little cat on you so you can't. Very frustrating situation there, can't imagine the burden of being held down by a little adorable kittycat. Couldn't, as the kids say, be me.