oops all spiders

I FUCKING FOUND IT

jesus christ

hey guys, just a reminder,

making posts about how beer tastes bad is a lot like that painting of a jester harassing a bunch of dogs while leaning over a wall, except the jester is below the dogs and trying so hard to reach them, and all the dogs are extremely beautiful and strong, and have a wonderful community built on love, and they never want for anything. they never want for anything.

Serial killers driven to kill by their unstoppable sexual urges are much cooler than angel of mercy type serial killers but I’d much rather die from a morphine overdose than from being strung up by fishhooks in the woods. Just goes to show that there’s more to life than being cool.

Just had this exact same thought with the exact same punchline but for getting sucked out of an airplane vs. the airplane instantly slamming into the side of a mountain. A little worrisome but tbf I’m right in both cases

summer moment

the AI taking my order at panda express went through four different voices in one interaction but only spoke in a chinese accent when asking me which rice or chow mein side i wanted

AU where Aztec human sacrifice priests are having their "Vatican II" moment

Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

one american thing that confuses me are college application letters. why do you need to write yourself a tragic backstory to go to university, don't you have standardized exams? who's reading through all these bad high schooler essays?

Its a class barrier. theres a whole job market for people who help kids write college admission essays, it also allows for the universities to more easily discriminate on who is allowed in, particularly against those with disabilities. part of how american universities select for people is how well their story can be sold to others as part of image maintenance.