oops all spiders

I FUCKING FOUND IT

jesus christ

hey guys, just a reminder,

This is a dude who claims that his principles align with "effective altruism" too, by the way

I like when someone invents a new and disturbing way to Decorate Wrong

You learn something every day: apparently “pharaoh” translates literally to “great house,” and it was originally used in reference to Thutmose III in the way that we’ll say “the White House” in reference to the president and his administration. For example, it’s not “Pharaoh Bob ordered…” it’s “the Pharaoh ordered…,” in the same way we would say “the White House opposed…”

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

The hardest I’ve ever made my supervisor laugh was when I ordered a really fancy cocktail that I didn’t realize came in a novelty glass at a lab dinner and I turned to her and said “I just really needed some attention”

making posts about how beer tastes bad is a lot like that painting of a jester harassing a bunch of dogs while leaning over a wall, except the jester is below the dogs and trying so hard to reach them, and all the dogs are extremely beautiful and strong, and have a wonderful community built on love, and they never want for anything. they never want for anything.

Serial killers driven to kill by their unstoppable sexual urges are much cooler than angel of mercy type serial killers but I’d much rather die from a morphine overdose than from being strung up by fishhooks in the woods. Just goes to show that there’s more to life than being cool.

Just had this exact same thought with the exact same punchline but for getting sucked out of an airplane vs. the airplane instantly slamming into the side of a mountain. A little worrisome but tbf I’m right in both cases

summer moment