If you’ve been following me for the past couple weeks, then you probably know most of what I’m about to tell you. My mother in law, Tammy, one of the kindest, gentlest people to ever walk this cursed earth—is dying. After battling through countless losses, near-deaths, hard-ships, and a massive stroke, she’s developed stage 4 anal cancer that has already metastasized all the way up to her collar bones. There’s no sugar coating the diagnosis and we’re to the point of keeping her comfortable and happy for this last chapter of life.
Do you need proof? I get it, people scam all the time. Here she is, if you must see. Just realize it would break her heart to know this image is out there for the world to see but I don’t know another way to get through to you people that this is real, this is dire, and this is desperate.
The situation she’s been living in, with my brother in law, is far from adequate. He’s got his hands full with 2 children under the age of 7 a rapidly declining mother, and 3 dogs to care for. No doubt, he’s experiencing serious care-taker burn out at this point but the conditions we found them in were simply unacceptable.
When we arrived, she had accidentally overmedicated herself and had a swollen leg, which had apparently been that way for THREE FUCKING WEEKS. It could have broken loose at any point and had we not showed up and taken her to the ER, where my spouse spent 6 miserable hours sitting with her drugged up mother and a duct-taped colostomy bag. The hospital staff let a clearly dying woman wait in the waiting room while the other people around them stared, shocked and appalled at the lack of care the staff showed.
When they finally gave her a room, hours later, a male nurse forcibly removed her shirt without asking (she hadn’t been wearing a bra) which is something that’s only acceptable in a trauma situation, which this clearly wasn’t. Her fingers were too cold to keep the heart monitor going so they spent hours of constant “beep beep”s, sobbing beside their dying mother—during this time several staff members made eye contact and just kept walking. Stormy had to venture out into the hall and beg the first person they saw for tissues bc they were literally drowning behind their mask.
After this entire ordeal, they were finally helped by a nurse who said “I haven’t had to do this for a while. Usually patients can take care of this themselves”, you know like an unprofessional, passive aggressive bitch, and then proceeded to do a messy fucking job and send her home with no supplies except blood thinners for the blood clot they found in her leg. Meanwhile, she’s also losing pints of blood to the brain-sized tumor protruding from her ass.
Had we not arrived at the precise time we did, she could have died. But after spending a week with her, cleaning their entire house top to bottom, more than once, spending all our money on ostomy bags that should have lasted more than a month but they somehow blow through in a fucking DAY. We had only packed enough to stay for a week but it became apparent that we would need to be the ones providing her end of life care, no matter what that looks like.
The plan is to spend a week back home, packing and raising funds, and then going back to stay in a hotel room, offer to move her in and start to bring in hospice care to provide what she needs. Obviously my spouse must take an extended FMLA break from work but that doesn’t pay ANYTHING, it merely assures they won’t lose their job when they get back after 12 weeks.
Stormy’s grandpa, Tammy’s own father, refuses to help us even though he has plenty of money. He says we have to figure it out ourselves. He even offered to help get us there only a few weeks ago and took that back right away. He also offered to give us the money if we drove down. Well we spent everything getting to Texas and he refused to see us. The only shining spot of hope has been my sister-in-law who just went through an end of life process with her grandfather and has graciously been helping us through with what she’s learned and supplies she’s accrued. If not for her and my brother, we would have had nowhere to stay this past week. But we put someone out of their room for a whole week and I can’t in good conscience ask them for more.
Here’s what we need to accomplish: We need to get her dogs spayed and their shots done so we can work on rehoming them.
We need enough money to pay for our hotel stay (even at a discounted rate). And also for the gas to get back and forth across the states that separate us, food, bedding, and anything else we may need for the undetermined amount of time we’ll be there. Listen. I have seen you reblog posts to raise funds for a fucking cat. Do Not let this post pass you by.
Likes do no good, and I WILL block anyone who does. Reblog and donate only, I cannot be more serious. You will be blocked for life. No exceptions.
This used to be an art blog but until we get what we need, this is what I’m posting. Every day. As long as I have to. If that offends you, I recommend you unfollow me now. Family is more important to me than the amount of followers I have on fucking tumblr.
So if you have a soul, please reblog. It’s the very least anyone could do.
If you want to donate, please do so here.
Spread this far and wide, please.
TL;DR: Mother in law is dying. We need help ASAP. Please don’t be a dick about this and don’t press the like button or risk being blocked for life. Reblog and donate only.
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