i've known how to bake for a long time, but maybe i could pretend to mess up, just for you. i know you have a sweet tooth, and i could use that to my advantage, love.

i'd make a batch of cookies for a friend, and i'd let you sit in the kitchen with me while i prepare them, pretending like i don't notice when you sneak a hand into the bowl of dough and steal yourself bites of it. maybe i'd "accidentally" mess up my first batch, making them too big or too small, not uniform in shape or size so that i'm forced to remake them, and you get a whole batch just to yourself.

i do have a bit of a competitive streak in me, so sometimes i enjoy going down to the grocery store and buying their cakes and pies, just to compare them to my own in terms of flavor and consistency. but, oh, now that i have you, my own little personal taste-tester, i can have you do that for me, can't i? i can serve you a few slices of homemade chocolate cake, lathered in rich buttercream icing, then follow it up with the cake i brought home from the store, giving you since after slice under the guise of wanting to perfect my own recipe. in truth, i'm just watching you willingly gorge yourself on all these different sweets, seeing the effects clearly in your rounded belly, just perfectly distended, pressing out against your shirt.

and what's better than just regular ice cream? a deliciously heavy, thick, rich milkshake, blended together with your favorite candies or treats, something that settles heavy in your belly and makes you feel lethargic. they say to drink your calories, and i think you'll do just fine at that. i'd serve you one with each meal, something fruity for breakfast, maybe something chocolatey for lunch, and something rich for dinner that has you falling into a food coma when your head hits the pillow that night, one hand cradling your overly distended, stuffed belly.

someone coming out of a hard experience, and now they’re settling back into normal life, and it’s evident on their body.

as they become more accustom to regular meals, they start letting themselves become comfortable again. their stomach softening as time goes by, from finally being able to indulge in good food they had gone without for so long.

their lover holding them at night, gently rubbing their full belly from having a little too much dinner.

I’m officially 100 pounds heavier than my starting weight. 😳

I may be in a little bit of denial but I don’t think I look that much bigger?? I’ve noticed some “small” things like my belly growing to take up more and more my lap, stretchmarks on every part of my body, outgrowing all my clothes, bras and even some shoes! Moving around is a little more laborious, and I squeeze into seats a little more tightly than I used to.

To me, this is all so hot and validating. Weight gain shakes and weekly stuffings have paid off- I’m officially “morbidly obese.” I never imagined I’d actually see these numbers for myself and it just makes me hungrier (horngrier) for more.

Gaining 100 pounds has been delightful in so many ways, it makes me excited to gain the next hundred… or two. 😈