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Sun and Moon mythology is so weird in FFXIV like the Sun is the Shepherd of the Stars while the moon is fake and a space ship and full of rabbits and also a prison for a dark god taken over by a clown and then its a portal to a different moon with a bug god in it and a big tiddy goth man wearing his dead friend's armor.
your last ally in all the city-states is an elf who would unironically lick the sweat from your armpits in front of the entire congregation. he begs his dad to let you couch surf. one of his brothers admits to your face that he wished you would die
two members of the swiss guard arrest your children so you punch them in the neck until the judge says you're free to go. the pope personally calls you to apologize for the trouble
ilberd tries and fails to hotbox you to death
a hot elf wife takes you on vacation to a nest full of cool bugs
anytime there's a serious moment estinien challenges the tone of the scene by pulling a giant novelty eyeball out of his pants which is played 100% straight every single time. not a single soul questions this or reacts in surprise
the prettiest elf in the world gets arrested trying to yell at his dad
Occupy The Vatican Right Fucking Now!!!!
the pope stances on the deck of an airship and flies away into the sunset after his eunuch traumatizes you
the emperor of garlemald shows up to call you a dipshit, leaves, and then you don't see him personally again for 1.5 expansion packs
we summon a naked catgirl and the first thing tataru does is give her a pair of louboutins and put a bow on her little kitty tail. she is the most deadly serious person in the entire organization
you take a quick detour to visit the angriest woman who's ever lived who calls you and everyone you're with a pointless dumbfuck moron shit idiot (affectionate). then she gives you a gun she invented that sharlayan banned for being too cool
theres a flying allagan war crimes factory full of broken robots who think you're stupid. an entire legion of garleans are abandoned here to form a feral colony with the escaped lab animals. the robots make fun of them
the dad of all the dragons on the whole planet calls you his favorite in front of his real child who he hasnt talked to in 4000 years
an evil wizard tries to get revenge on you for killing his cousin but the pope loads his soul into a bong and takes the fattest rip. the next time you meet him you mostly learn about how much his wife bullied him
estinien picks up a second eyeball. surprise development!: there is an angry dragon ghost living in the eyeballs
thancred gets punched in the face
you watch two dragon brothers fight because one called the other's dead wife a foul and trifling hoe
you save your friend through the power of friendship, and littering. as soon as he feels better he jumps out of a window and doesnt talk to you for two years
the guy from the box art wont stop trying to kill you because he is actually john videogames: astral traveler
after 15 hours of wondering what happened to all the scions and learning just the ones you've been able to FIND were flung into the afterlife, you discover lyse and papalymo are fine. they werent even hurt. they have been playing desert dress up with the ala mhigans while youve been freezing your pussy off trying to end a multigenerational religious war with the dragons and depose a corrupt head of state. they tried to send one letter and then gave up
the consequences of littering catch up with you. in eorzea, the fine is $Giant Dragon
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I like to think that, among all the characters carrying the theme of hope and inspiration, Raha, mr. Beacon of Hope, is the one to succeed killing himself in ARR.
Whatever person he could've become on his own without going into the Tower, those possibilities are cut off when he enters it.
When he's woken up 200 years later, catching up on the news and living through the following events fundamentally changes him as a person, and when that person gets transported back in time and space to where it all began, back to his young body that still resides in the Tower, the fusion creates a brand new person. It's either and neither of the two. Exarch's memories color his every thought and action when this new person leaves the Tower, so in a way ARRRaha is really gone forever. That moment when he puts on a smile as he seals himself behind the golden doors really is his last moment.
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Mini papercraft commission of Hythlodaeus, Azem, and Emet-Selch/Hades from Final Fantasy XIV! It's always interesting to make characters who wear the same uniform, because my dueling instincts are to A) keep all the patterns of their clothes the same, because, well, they're meant to be uniform! or B) BUT IT'S FUN TO USE AS MANY PATTERNS AS I CAN!!! I pitched down the middle for these by using the same pattern for the base of each black cloak, but they all get different hoods and mask patterns. ^_^
Save Thancred - a plea to change Thancred's 7.0 model to more closely resemble how he looked before.
Thancred fans!
A few of us have put together a comprehensive website featuring a breakdown of the changes to Thancred's face in 7.0. Please check out the link by clicking on the image above - we've included lots of visual examples with sliders.
We've raised this on the official forums also, but please feel free to spread the word or add your own comments to the thread! It really helps us out! ❤️
Sadly, Thancred was not changed in 7.2. Other NPCs such as Aymeric, Lyse and Emet-Selch received faithful and solid updates, but Thancred has still been left looking like this. Any support is hugely appreciated, from comments on the official forums to shares with friends. Please help us in getting him the faithful update he deserves!
Y'all...I thought people were just being sarcastic to me for that past 7 years. But housing items really do just sell randomly on the marketboard. I was down to 5k gil from grinding out crafting achievements and then BAM...back to a decent 3M Gil in like 2 days. I just sold it all at "I need this out of my inventory" prices too...what the fuck.
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I did a FFXIV Colour Wheel challenge over on Bluesky! This was really fun and a great way to get the creative juices flowing - and also to draw some characters I'd never drawn before :)
I'd recommend doing this challenge if you're after a project to do!
Shadowbringers is about two old men trying to out dramatic each other and failing while wearing the most frilly of robes. Grandstanding, trying to win over the heroes' heart and trying to out old man each other while everyone else is trying to fix the Post Apocalyptic Hellscape.
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