Why Hello There

js the concept of a PHM videolog that starts out with grace and rocky happily going abt their business that then jumpcuts to ryland alone at a desk covered in blood girl im dead

If you are currently sitting or laying down this moment ask yourself if you are resting or rotting. Change your behavior accordingly

There is no romance in decay when the decaying is easy

"rot or rest" sounds like the world's worst game show

You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

….. Didn’t know most of that

Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.

Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything else—and it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.

it’s what they would have wanted

happy moonwalk day

the fact that “the vibes here are rancid” is a power that the jedi actually have is insane to me

can you imagine being a normal dude and you’re getting help from this jedi, and this jedi dude’s like “head’s up, the next five minutes have the worst vibes imaginable” and you’re like “why?” and the jedi dude’s like “inscrutable cosmic power told me so, doesn’t get more specific than that”

like all these weird little men in weird little robes with glowy swords do is meditate because they have sorcerer-induced anxiety. yoda’s always fucking meditating on his little pillow because he has to figure out if he’s nauseous because the arcane will of all life itself is speaking through his midichlorians to warn him or if he just ate a bad burrito for lunch. the force is constantly dunking on these weird little men and telling them “something bad’s going to happen” and never explaining what’s going to happen. do you sense bad vibes because your washing machine is about to break and flood your apartment, or because the government you serve is about to turn into a dictatorship and mow your ass like grass? that’s for you to figure out

mace windu has Double Anxiety because every now and then he gets a pop-up that tells him when he is making a Significant Visual Novel Protag Choice

Do you guys wanna see the version of bloodymary im somewhat invested in

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

How do I explain Plato's allegory of the cave to my cat?

gato’s allegory of the fishtank

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s