not your typewriter

Three of his friends jump and look around. Glinda doesn’t raise her head from her folded arms; only groans, “Is that Baines coming to do me in?” 

Charlie totters to the window and fetches Errol from the window pane. “No such luck,” he says. “You’re still going to have to take the exam.” After some consideration, Charlie lays him on a clear patch of floor to recover. “Do owls take firewhiskey?” he asks the room at large. 

“It’s not fair,” Glinda wails into the tabletop. “I swear he didn’t say anything about Bridgewort’s handling practices when we did the review in class.” 

“Oh, Merlin,” says Ali, freezing over their notes like a Medusa wyvern had bitten them. “Oh, Merlin’s sweet saggy socks. Is he covering Bridgewort?” 

“That’s what he said when I went to his office hours.” Glinda sits up. “You know his lapdragon singed my new sweater?!” 

Charlie decides not to give Errol a nip of whiskey. Flying under the influence is really not done. He unties the letter from Errol’s leg. Ron’s childish spiky handwriting spells out Charlie’s name on the front. Inside is a hastily scrawled message. 

“Yes, we know it ruined your sweater,” snaps Ysabelle. “You told us twenty times. Why didn’t you tell us Baines told you we’re going to be tested on Bridgewort?” 

“I meant to,” says Glinda. “Sorry.” She flicks her pile of notes. “I was lost in the miasma of gloom and desperation.” 

Ali puts their head back and groans. “I’m gonna die. I’m gonna say ‘fuck it’ and just fucking walk into a dragon’s mouth so I don’t have to do this.” 

“Hey,” says Charlie. They don’t hear him. 

“How much is this worth again?” Glinda asks her bottle of butterbeer. 

“Twenty-five percent,” Ali and Ysabelle chorus. Ysabelle adds, “and the thesis is fifty percent of our total grade.” 

“Hey!” Charlie repeats. They look at him. He waves Ron’s letter. “My littlest brother at Hogwarts has an illegal dragon he needs to get off campus. Anybody up for a midnight flight?” 

Charlie:

I just randomly remembered something about the Harry Potter movies that enrages me.

Okay we all know the Goblet of Fire movie was one gigantic mess. We all know about the ‘calmly’. We all know about the ‘calmly’.

Oh god the ‘calmly’.

But there’s something even worse…so much worse…

It’s even worse than them omitting Hagrid’s bloodline or the scene where Cornelius Fudge intentionally gets a dementor to suck out Barty Crouch Jr.’s soul so that he couldn’t testify or Rita Skeeter’s secret or god this film was such a horrible injustice to the books!

But none of that, none of that is even remotely comparable to this scene:

THIS MOTHERF—ING SCENE

WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE THAT HARRY JAMES POTTER WOULD HESITATE NOT ONCE, BUT TWICE, WHEN IT COMES TO SAVING A FELLOW HOGWARTS STUDENT’S LIFE IN A TOURNAMENT HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN IN THE FIRST PLACE!

It is such a disgrace to Harry’s character, to everything he’s gone through, to the sheer amount of compassion he built up over the years of abuse by the Dursleys. Harry would never, in a million years, hesitate to save Cedric and he definitely wouldn’t have his head flying back and forth between a shiny prize and a dying teenager screaming his name are you kidding me movie!?

(Cedric screams it four times by the way, in case any of you were wondering, I counted as I grabbed these screenshots.)

And to make it worse, to make it even worse, you have Cedric gave Harry a weak smile and say, “For a second there, I thought you were going to let it get me.”

Only for Harry to stare right back and say, “For a second there, so did I.”

WHAT?

In case anyone’s forgotten, here’s how the scene plays out in the book:

Notice how HARRY MF JAMES POTTER DIDN’T EVEN HESITATE WHEN CEDRIC WAS IN DANGER, HE IMMEDIATELY ACTED BECAUSE THAT’S HIS THING, THAT’S HIS WHOLE CHARACTER, HIS “SAVING PEOPLE THING” IS WHAT MAKES HARRY POTTER HARRY POTTER! THE FACT THAT HE AUTOMATICALLY TRIES TO SAVE EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO HIM IS BOTH HIS GREATEST STRENGTH AND HIS GREATEST FLAW AND IT’S BROUGHT UP AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN IN THE BOOKS BUT THIS MOVIE THINKS IT CAN JUST THROW ALL OF THAT OUT TO GIVE YOU A SUSPENSEFUL SCENE IMPLYING THAT HARRY HAS TO STRUGGLE TO…YOU KNOW…NOT MURDER SOMEONE!?

AND DON’T WORRY, MOVIE, I’M NOT SCREAMING AT YOU! BY YOUR DEFINITION, I’M TALKING TO YOU CALMLY!

We’ll have to make it ourselves, and we’ll have to help each other make it. That’s why it is solarpunk. 

Some resources to consider creating or joining or doing:

Repair cafes - create or join your local repair cafe! Repair stuff, learn how to repair stuff, teach others how to repair stuff.

Map of Makerspaces - make some things! learn how to make some things! teach others how to make some things!

Community Garden Map (note that this is US-only, and not a complete list) - join a local community garden

Support your local farmers / local economy (US only link)

Support or create a local Food Not Bombs chapter

Support or create a local Food Not Lawns chapter

Grow food in 5 gallon buckets

Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity (as a bonus you can learn extremely practical skills)

Volunteer via 350.org to help the environment / the planet / the place we live and depend on

Excellent-and-still-growing wiki from reddit’s awesome r/zerowaste community - great resource to learn how to live more lightly on the earth

Spread the word about solarpunk, especially to engineering students. Show them projects like Open Source Ecology - Global Village Construction Set and Bridges for Prosperity 

Learn how to Patch a Hole, Mend a Seam, and Fix a Hem

Learn how to repair a hole in the sole of a shoe

Learn some basics on passive solar design - clever use of the sun can create extremely energy efficient homes and buildings. You can use these principles to save on energy bills, even if you’re renting.

Free USDA Complete Guide to Home Canning, 2015 revision - cut down on personal food waste! Learn how to safely preserve food. Very useful if you suddenly harvest / purchase for crazy cheap in season / dumpster dive a ton of perishable food.

Donate to One Acre Fund, which provides training and capital to farmers (making them more productive and pulling them out of poverty) in various east African countries

Donate to Bridges to Prosperity, which provides technical expertise, money, and volunteers, to help local people build and maintain their own footbridges in extremely isolated rural areas 

joining r/solarpunk, and sharing links/ideas/art/music with the community. Also, upvoting stuff for greater visibility. There’s over 900 members!

Illustration of S T U D Y B L R S 📚😉

Heathers (1988) huge sketchdump fanart part 2