Not Your Average Tumblr

every time i burp it tastes like Arby’s

and every time we kiss I swear I can fly

*blows kiss up to the sky (for the aliens)*

*blows kiss to iPhone screen (for the dumb person who posted this)*

sorry you didnt like this hannah bieber hercules, shoot me an email and we can discuss what content you’d rather see in the future. 

A cactus is just a really aggresive cucumber.

physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll

i like all those secret dogs underneath very stealthy

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Me to a 5 yr old: so how do you keep your skin so clear??

There’s this girl at my school and she’s really nice and I remember sometime last year at one point she would carry a clicker around and click it everytime she had a happy thought/something good happened/she laughed etc. It was always kind of cute how you’d just hear the little click every once in a while throughout class it always made me smile knowing that it was bc something made her feel happy idk

she was training herself to be happy oh my god