Dancing Queen

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

Official somber sign

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

the mexican football team has a 17 yrs old player and one of the funniest outcomes of this is that he cannot appear in any ad for gambling or drinking so he only appears in candy and milk advertisements. his first world cup and he's not even legally allowed to drive. his nickname is "morita" (little berry). he's three apples tall.

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

Reminder that "movement is medicine" isn't a "vegan hippie phrase" but something actual physical therapists say all the time, and that nothing improves lifespan like flexibility and muscle strength. Strong is a better goal than thin in every way.

Trying to fuck a girl with alters starting every text with to whom it may concern

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

*at a therapy appointment* I mean sure, but what am I gonna do (doing a stupid voice) "heal?" *rolls my eyes and makes a jacking off motion*

@cute-girls-from-anime-manga-vns

HOLY HELLS THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT!!!!

women are like diamonds: synthetically-produced women are not meaningfully different from naturally-formed women, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is probably trying to justify keeping their women mines open