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restaurant with a lobster tank and a warning sign that reads DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THEIR EYES and when the waiter comes and asks you which lobster you want you notice one looking right at you and you blink and suddenly youre looking at yourself from inside of the tank and see yourself stand up and start snapping your hands like claws

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

everyone complaining that they missed it it’s still 8/8 somewhere drop trow and get busy soldiers

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

[ID: screenshot of a tweet by @/lumpen_princess. It reads: “part of the hostility towards trans children is just straight up transphobia but there’s also this added dimension of fearing that if we admit that children can have self-knowledge about something as ‘important’ as gender then the entire patriarchal edifice of family will crumble.” /end ID]

meet me under the pier we are going beast mode

formative years? aren’t they all?

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

Adorable, beautiful magic

Guys, I think I might be gay

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

adding my energy to this since i recently got a new job with a similar increase in annual salary