spade ♠️

screw bedtime 😈😈 tonight we are staying up until 9pm

that is supposed to say smile.

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

sports is not real. they just declared it

they just killed every player in the world. we are free

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

I can and will get more weird the longer I live which is especially good because I intend to live forever

Real cool dude in fact let me call up my buddy olaf from frozen to ask if he gives a fuck

can’t wait for whatever bullshit happens tomorrow #mybullshit

Getting kicked off love island for trying to poison the men