Not Mister Darcy

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

my new years resolution is 480x640. Gettig smaller

well you know what they say. when you've invested billions of dollars into hammers every problem looks like a nail and you keep handing these hammers to your users and they go "i don't really think i needed this hammer" and "but i don't have any nails that need hammering in right now" and "this is not a nail this is a glass vase that will break if i hit it with a hammer" and "didn't you used to have, like, other tools avaliable that might be better suited to this job" and you tell them to suck it up because you've replaced all your screwdrivers and wrenches and box cutters and crates and ladders and paint with hammers because your shareholders need to see an increase in value from your hammer investments

how can i communicate to wild bunnies that i am their ally

99% of all murders committed by women in ancient greek plays are completely justified

Clytemnestra: crack? Is it crack you smoke?

honestly? Im sincere and so full of love and no one can ever take that away from me

You know that post about how angels and telephone towers are biologically compatible? That’s how I feel about overgrown plants and industrial machines.

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (so devoted the lines blur)

imagine if doorways grew back like scabbed over with fresh drywall and you had to keep carving them back out with a jabsaw to keep the doorway clear etc

Imagine if the membranes recoiled in pain every time you did this. Imagine if over time, some doorways became accustomed sensation. Imagine that very rarely, some even seemed to enjoy it.

*sleepover host voice* imagine if you two went to sleep