Pup Hudson

Like many I was exposed to blogs on Tumblr of more “famous” couples or dynamics in the BDSM scene.  I took most of my queues from them, seeing what they did, their lives and reactions. It is thanks to that exposure I decided to explore pup life.  I don’t hold most of those ideals or practices as my own any more, but it gave me my starting point. I decided that ‘pup’ was the descriptor that worked best for me, and about 1.5 years ago was the first time I was called pup by someone. This felt more right, gave me more purpose for myself, but I was not done. Never will you see me air my troubles or “dirty laundry” in a public forum like this, but there have been some rocky moments that have gotten me to where I am. Like many people I suffer from anxiety to the point of needing medical prescriptions to help me cope with some situations. And to be honest, is one of the main reasons I discovered i am not just a pup by title, but a human-pup in behaviour and look. A few posts ago I wrote my story on how I discovered my pup name.  In that post I mentioned how I first saw a human pup at IML and didn’t know what to make of them.  Even when first calling myself pup i never identified as that type of pup, I didn’t think I required a hood to identify as one, that my obedience was just in my actions. I met Master @walkingtheline 1 year ago this month (April 2016). To be honest so much has changed in my life, my personality, and how I identify that it feels so much longer than that (he agrees). He is the first one to introduce me into my subspace, led me through some challenges in my life, and fostered my growth as a pet. It was his suggestion that a pup hood would help me gain a deeper connection to my pupspace, and in that process a deeper understanding of myself. I love Master so much! The journey of putting my hood on for the first time is a major event in my pup life, and one I was privileged to share with Master in person.  I was feeling a bit down back then, like my pup-self was weakening; was I wrong who i was? Was this the route for me? My anxiety was building up cause I had thought i found who I was but it was slipping away. Master treated this as no small matter, that we should make sure we did it in person, and do so in a way that was proper for who I am as his pet.   The hood, a symbolic representation of who Hudson is, helped complete me. The experience of putting it on is one I never want to forget. The guidance Master gave me, encouraged me, and played with me; it awakened me  further than I ever dreamed. So much so, that at the end of our session and when I was released I cried. Tears of joy, of satisfaction, and general happiness. I mention my anxiety because the hood has become one of those things that helps me with that.  Hudson is who I am, but putting on the hood is when he comes out to play. My worries are left behind and the social responsibilities of life can be forgotten for an instant. Being pup is strongly connected to my mood and life stimuli, and the hood just helps put me in the right mindset.  It isn’t a required piece for anyone to be pup, but in my closet it has become something more than I ever dreamed.

I am no longer with my prior master, but the information is still relevant to those it speaks to. 

Hugs to all!