holy moly me oh my

to be honest im really sick of the fact that fat people are supposed to suck it up when other peoples worst fear is looking like them

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

locked the fuck out. distractionmaxxing

#This is the representation I’ve been looking for

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

Okay, now think about this: Imagine if you had a bunch of hamburgers coming toward you on the street. If each hamburger is in an 8 foot-long box with wheels, they can snarl each other up in traffic and you're not going to be able to get hamburgers very quickly. BUT, if you have a great big box with lots of hamburgers--or a dedicated rail that only sends a whole train full hamburgers to you, once every five minutes--then...

Too many rich people buying medieval castles and then renovating the interior to look like a completely normal 21st century house. Sorry but if you're going to live in a castle you need to commit to the bit. If I lived in a castle I would restore it just enough to be barely liveable and pretend I was a poor but prideful nobleman in his crumbling estate, still clinging to the last vestiges of his family's fading name.

I'd commission portraits of generations of completely made-up noble ancestors and then intentionally water-damage some of them to reinforce my "mouldering splendour" motif.

I would invite a woman who looked like one of my portraits over and tell her that it was a portrait of my saintly mother who was taken by consumption 20 years ago.

I’d have a personal eccentric monk from no known religious order skulking about parties, pointing his long, bony finger at random guests and whispering in my ear.