okay

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

it should be illegal for things in drawers to accumulate dust. you were IN the drawer WHAT is your problem

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

has anyone figured out how to be a real person yet

just me. and i'm NOT telling

what the fuck. come on

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

my number one woman behavior is saying i’m fine with any pronouns and silently ranking people in my regard based on what they do with that information

This is George Costanza behavior

And they said you couldn’t do Seinfeld in the modern day.

*George is George and only George

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

HOT AUTISTIC ADULTS IN YOUR AREA ARE UNSURE IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO THEM...CLICK HERE TO ESTABLISH CLEAR INTENT

my apologies to the lovely lady who had only just begun constructing her beautiful spiderweb in the immediate path of the side door this morning when i, in my self-centered desire to vacate my home of assorted household refuse, came oafishly barging through the sum of her efforts. i shall meditate upon my actions and how they harmed not just her, but all women of the world, and endeavour to do better

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning