Strap in for a music anylasys of Not by Big Theif and its relation to (my darling) Pidge Holt! [thank you to @voltaero for encouraging me to post this lol <3]
 Not by Big Thiefâ Katie (Pidge) Holt
It's not the energy reeling Â
Nor the lines in your faceÂ
Nor the clouds on the ceilingÂ
Nor the clouds in space
-There is the obvious parallel right here with the mention of âenergyâ and âspaceâ to Pidgeâs journey. The song displays the phrase âitâs notâ to describe something, itâs not this or that but they canât say what it is.Â
âItâs not the energy reelingâ This line could be seen as a parallel with Pidge trying to figure out what the energy in space is, the quintessence and trying to relate it back to something familiar. But it could also be a parallel to Katie. Katie is reeling from the energy or force of the impact of the Kerberos mission failure. The âitâs notâ might also be a way to say how it wasnât the forceful impact of the mission failure that sent Katie reeling, but the fact that it wasnât an energy or fuel failure but an outside source that caused the crash. Remember how Pidge was so excited to see that aliens were real? It's the fact that it was aliens that captured her family that sent her reeling.
âNor the lines in your faceâ, to me, I see this as her starting to forget or trying to remember the wrinkles and lines in her parents faces. Her forceful separation from her parents was not something she enjoyed and she regrets it. The lines in their face, their memory, clouds her judgement and it canât be seen in the next line.
âNor the clouds on the ceilingâ, something is clouding their view. The âclouds on the ceilingâ relate back to the brand new and confusing quality of Voltron and her role in it; her cloudy view that will get clear as wind (time) passes by. Or even the thought of her family being in danger is clouding their judgement.
âNor the clouds in spaceâ, this can possibly be a reference to how gases in space interact and how and what that means for them. Like how she is interacting with new gases (people and technologies) and how they are interacting to make something beautiful in space [ex. Nebula's].
It's not the phone on the tableÂ
Nor the bed in the earthÂ
Nor the bed in the stableÂ
Nor your stable words
-Looking over these lines quickly gives the impression of missing her mother or father and their words of stability.
âItâs not the phone on the tableâ, could mean the waiting of a phone call from the garrison, a message from Matt, or a call from her mom; all full of reassurance that everything went fine. Matt is a bigger possibility because I can easily imagine Pidge having a panic attack while waiting for a message from Matt after the supposed crash.
âNor the bed in the earthâ. That line specifically represents the funeral they had for Matt and Sam Holt. Their âbed in the earthâ that lay empty. But it's not the empty grave that is causing Pidge to be distraught, it's the thought of them being alive but the garrison trying to convince them it was an accident.
âNor your stable wordsâ, this interpreters as Pidge missing her father at first, missing his âstable wordsâ and how wise he was. But then it could be a moment of reflection in space of how she misses her mother.
It's not the formless beingÂ
Nor the cry in the airÂ
Nor the boy I'm seeingÂ
With her long black hair
-Glancing over this section leaves the impression of Pidge forming a bond with Keith over their grief(?).
âItâs not the formless beingâ, by this point I think Pidge is in space, missing her family and the âformless beingâ is her grief, determination, and all swirling emotions.Â
âNor the cry in the airâ, I think this means how they would cry of frustration when no progress of finding Matt or her father went, a loud and sorrowful âcry in the airâ.
âNor the boy Iâm seeing with her long black hairâ, Keith. Uh yeah, pretty much just that. She is âseeingâ Keith, as in relating to him and the pair starting to share a bond over shared grief and emotions regarding the Kerberos mission and their positions are the arms of Voltron.Â
It's not the open weavingÂ
Nor the furnace glowÂ
Nor the blood of you bleedingÂ
As you try to let go
- Sacrifice is the main message Iâm seeing.
âItâs not the open weavingâ, an âopen weaveâ is like a textile fabric thing. To me, with the combination of the other lines, this means the cutting open of a shirt or a flight suit when an injury presents on Pidge themself or another teammate and they had to watch.Â
âNor the furnace glowâ, this could mean the incinerator in the castle, the boosters on the lions or castle(?) Iâm not really too sure about how to interpret this line.
âNor the blood of you bleeding as you try to let goâ, yikes! Like I said, this could mean the injury of a friend or teammate (COUGH COUGH LANCE OR KEITH) trying to sacrifice themselves and getting severely injured because of it.
It's not the room, not beginningÂ
Not the crowd, not winningÂ
Not the planet, not spinningÂ
Not a ruse, not heatÂ
Not the fire lapping up the creekÂ
Not food, not to eat
-Overall message looks like a rationalization of something, itâs not this and itâs not that either.
âItâs not the room, not beginningâ, itâs not a room, possibly an open area like a battlefield and itâs not beginning, so maybe itâs an ending battle? In combination with the last few lines that would make sense.
âNot the crowd, not winningâ, Not a crowd, but one person, Pidge, and she is not winning but losing. Possibly losing hope in the Voltron cause or even finding her family (weâve seen her doubt in both a few times in the series).Â
âNor the planet, not spinningâ, quickly taking the opposites of both we get a place that is stationary. The one constant and solid in Pidge's life is her intelligence, that has never been taken away before so why should it now?Â
But with âNot a ruse, not heat, not the fire lapping up the creekâ this may be interpreted as the Galra trying to mess with her reality but it not being a ruse. It is true and the cold of space, crawling against her and reminding her where she is (there is a blanket mentioned later in the song so the metaphor of a cold blanket trying to warp her in its clutches could be applied here). But this again could be taken in a different direction, it could be instead of it ânotâ being something like the opposite, itâs not that experience. It was a ruse by the druids that ended in an explosion or a heat wave of some sort where the fire crawled up her. Or, possibly referencing what happened to Lance and how she feels guilty about it. If she couldâve gotten over her sense of responsibility to one person she couldâve saved another from pain.
âNot food, not to eatâ could be Hunks tryâs of making literal alien food have some sense of normalcy or something like that. This line right now doesnât make all that much sense to me and I canât work it out to make a relation to Pidgeâs character but yeah.
Not the meat of your thighÂ
Nor your spine tattooÂ
Nor your shimmery eyeÂ
Nor the wet of the dew
- Iâm seeing some guilt towards Lance right about nowâŚ
âNot the meat of your thighâ the feeling of stabbing something for the first time probably wouldâve stuck with Pidge for the rest of their life, their grappling hook only just grabbing onto the meat of an enemyâs (or friends) leg.Â
âNor you spine tattooâ her guilt every time she sees any of her teammates back and their nasty scars that she feels like she couldâve prevented. (This could even be a relation to post omega-shield and Lanceâs {head canoned} lightning scars on his back.)
âNot your shimmery eye nor the wet of the dewâ. Earth! I see this as team Voltron going on a mission to an earth-like planet and the literal âwet of the dewâ being so similar but just a bit off that it makes Pidge cry from the off familiarity of it.
It's not the warm illusionÂ
Nor the crack in the plateÂ
Nor the breath of confusionÂ
Nor the starkness of slate
-This reminds me of the Lotor arc and how his presence affected Pidge and their process in the show.Â
âItâs not the warm illusionâ is the illusion of her father being brought with Zarkon then the âcrack in the plateâ is the realization that it wasnât (not) her father.Â
âNor the breath of confusionâ is the confusion of Lotorâs presence and his effect on her mission to find her father.
âNor the starkness of slateâ, this line reveals the starkness of the new mission of Voltron and how itâs changed. Keith leaving to the blade is the crack in the plate of the family, Shiro coming back is the breath of confusion and the new mission, lion switch, and Matt being found is the stark newness of everything. Alternatively, it could be the not starkness of everything, the predictability, the pattern of a Galra betraying them, the pattern of a new mission taking people away from her.
It's not the room, not beginningÂ
Not the crowd, not winningÂ
Not the planet, not spinningÂ
Not a ruse, not heatÂ
Not the fire lapping up the creekÂ
Not food, not to eat
-The repeat of the chorus is making the timeline of the song compared to Pidge around the destruction of the castle after season 6. The âheatâ and âfire lapping up the creekâ relates to the fiery destruction of the castle, their home, not their food(family) is gone, not to eat anymore. Itâs not the beginning anymore, itâs not just a planet spinning, itâs their home, itâs gone, and they need to find a new one.
Not what you really wantedÂ
Nor the mess in your purseÂ
Nor the bed that is hauntedÂ
With a blanket of thirst
-The overall message might be interpreted as the journey towards earth is bringing up new memories and more hardships for the team and their new members.
âNot what you really wantedâ was this what Pidge truly wanted? Did they want to be a child soldier? Did they want to be separated from their family, just to find hope only for it to be taken away? Did they really want this?
âNor the mess in your purseâ The purse could be an illusion to the Green lion. The mess in the lion that gave her a purpose is not what she wanted. She didnât want this, did she?Â
âNor the bed that is hauntedâ is her bed back in that old two story house in the milky way, with a yellow star as a sun, on the blue and green planet called earth, in the crappy little neighborhood with the old park that hadnât been changed since 1990, still there? Is her bed with the constellation bed sheets, still there? Is it haunted with both her and her motherâs tears over their family? Is it haunted with BeBes hair? Is it haunted with her memory? Did her mother wash her sheets? Did her mother sleep in her bed just to remember her scent like she did with Matt for the short time she stayed there after the crash?Â
âWith a blanket of thirstâ Maybe Pidge holds the blanket that she had in space, pretending itâs the blanket that lay on her bed at home, pretending itâs the blanket sheâd wrap herself in to walk into her mothers arms. Itâs the blanket of thirst, the thirst of familiarity and longing for her home back.
It's not the hunger revealingÂ
Nor the ricochet in the caveÂ
Nor the hand that is healingÂ
Nor the nameless grave
-This section of lines reminds me of how the paladins were trying to normalize the season 7 roadtrip to earth and their new companions.
âItâs not the hunger revealingâ itâs not the revealing of the 3 year skip in time, but itâs the reveal of the thought of missing so much. What has happened while they were gone? Is the blade okay? Is the rebellion (Matt) okay? Is the coalition okay? Hell, is Earth (her parents) okay?
âNor the ricochet in the caveâ this could be seen as the cave with the Druid that held Kolivan captive. But it could also be seen as the memory of the cave that started it all, the shaking walls that started this.
âNor the hand that is healingâ is Pidge really healing if she keeps using the hand that is injured to keep pushing forward? Is the roadtrip really moving forward if they keep stopping to help others when there is something bigger afoot? (Is earth really more important than the universe? MaybeâŚ)
âNor the nameless graveâ Boom, immediately this reminded me of Mattâs âgraveâ on that planet. While âchronologicallyâ this isnât in order, itâs space and time warping and⌠things⌠is Pidge healing if they donât have closure? The unmarked grave caused her so much hurt and pain but can she even move forward and heal if she keeps pushing forward with that same wound?Â
It's not the room, not beginningÂ
Not the crowd, not winningÂ
Not the planet, not spinningÂ
Not a ruse, not heatÂ
Not the fire lapping up the creekÂ
Not food, not to eat
-The third and final repeat of the chorus means the closing battle, the crowd that wasnât winning is the ATLAS and the entire universe trying and failing with pouring their all into stopping Honerva. The rise of her giving up, Pidge latched onto that but the fire and heat burned her along with team Voltron and the alteans. They can have food, but they canât eat it. They can have peace in the universe and stop the big bad, but they canât have the possibility of a different outcome. They have to destroy the very thing that brought them through this entire horrifying and crazy and beautiful journey. They have to get rid of hope.
Not to die, not dyingÂ
Not to laugh, not lyingÂ
Not the vacant wilderness vyingÂ
Not the room, not beginningÂ
Not the crowd, not winningÂ
Not the planet, not spinning
âNot to die, not dyingâ No, Pidge canât die she has a mother and a father and a brother waiting for her, but wait- it isnât her dying. Itâs the person that gave her the responsibility of the universe. Pidge should resent Allura, right? But in that moment in the center of everything with the past paladins. She doesnât. It isnât Pidge dying, itâs her friend.
âNot to laugh, not lyingâ Itâs ironic, they are at the center of everything and the princess of a lost race is about to sacrifice herself and it should be funny because sheâs joking about it right? But not, sheâs not lying. Pidge has always been one to deny or try to bargain with the reality of something, this line and how I am interpreting it, reinforcing it.
âNot the vacant wilderness vyingâ Vying means to strive for superiority. The line literally means that an empty place is trying to be better than the rest. Pidge would feel empty after the loss of Allura, but she tries to push forward and look, be better, not to show grief or weakness. Sheâs a goddamn paladin of Voltron, the savior of the universe, but why does she feel so empty?
âNot the room, not beginningâ sheâs in the same room, the lions, where this all began, but itâs not the same room is it? And it sure as shit isnât the beginning, right? But no, itâs not the beginning, itâs the end, they had reached the end of that chapter of their life, they reached the end of Voltron; barely alive.
âNot the crowd, not winningâ There wasnât a crowd, it was Coran, Shiro, Keith, Lance, Hunk, and- and wow, how could they call it a win when they lost someone so important to everyone. There wasnât a crowd because they didnât win, they were alone, with a loss that weighed heavy.
âNot the planet, not spinningâ The planet they landed on wasnât just a planet anymore because it was the place where they finally let go and released their pain onto, tears and blood and screams and- that planet wasnât spinning. âAnd the world wonât stop spinningâ but letâs think. To Pidge, who had just had so much pain and gain and loss and everything in such a short period of time at FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, the world stopped for them. It stopped to let them have a final moment of silence to grieve, grieve all of the pain from their family, found or not.
This 6 minute song encompasses the grief of Pidge. It encompasses the rationalization of space and everything new. The meaning of the song, objectively, is trying to figure out what something is when âitâs notâ something else and the exploration of complex emotions and relationships. You can obviously see how this would relate to a fifteen year old in general, but with someone who had to carry the genuine universe on her shoulders, then yeah, it might be a little difficult to keep going.
