Non-Mainstream Cult Survivor

BITE stands for Behavior Control, Information Control, Thought Control, and Emotional Control.

The more points a group “scores” on the model, the more of a cult it is.

I think this model is the best one for several reasons:

It’s more nuanced than “cult” or “not cult” and doesn’t make false equivalences between groups

It’s versatile, applying to groups big and small, and cults of all kinds, religious, political, financial, etc.

This is a great example of Thought Control used by cults whenever they’re confronted with criticism.

Do you feel like you’re being unnecessarily restricted by your faith? If so, what aspects of your faith make you feel this way?

Do you feel like attending ceremonies, meetings, or other activities and gatherings relating to your faith is a burden or a chore rather than a spiritual experience? Again, if so, why is this? Wha parts of these activities and gatherings make you feel this way?

Do you feel as if you are gaining meaningful knowledge and experiences from attending events related to your faith? Do you feel as if you are growing spiritually or as a person?

Do you feel being a member of your faith is harmful to you mentally, physically, emotionally, or otherwise? If so, why is this?

Do you feel as if you are only participating in your faith out of fear of repercussions, social or otherwise, or that you are being pressured by your community, friends, or family into participating in the faith?

Do you purposefully avoid participating in your faith or telling others about your faith, for reasons other than personal safety? Why is this?

Do you feel like your interpretation of spiritual topics doesn’t align with those of your faith? Do you feel more connection to another faith than your own?

Witchcraft and paganism offer beautiful, empowering ways to connect with the world, the divine, and yourself. But let’s be real: the spiritual community can sometimes feel like navigating a metaphysical minefield. From “lizard people control the world” conspiracies to the pervasive influence of New Age cults, finding your way as a witch or pagan can feel daunting. So, how can you embrace this path while keeping your wits about you? Let’s dive into it—no tinfoil hats required.

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1. Know Thyself and Do Thy Research

One of the most powerful tools for any witch or pagan is knowledge. Before diving headfirst into spiritual practices or belief systems, ask yourself:

What am I looking for in my path?

What resonates with me spiritually and ethically?

How can I learn more from credible sources?

Avoid treating every book, blog, or TikTok video as gospel truth. Instead, prioritize research from reputable authors and scholars. Look for historical, cultural, and anthropological contexts behind practices and beliefs. For example, if you’re exploring Norse paganism, read the Poetic Edda, but also check out scholarly works like Hilda Ellis Davidson’s writings.

💡 Pro Tip: If something sounds too fantastical or claims to have “secret knowledge,” approach it critically. “Ancient Lemurians built the pyramids” is not archaeology—it’s a conspiracy theory.

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2. Critical Thinking: Your New Familiar

While spirituality embraces the unseen and mysterious, it doesn’t mean suspending all logic. Here’s how to keep critical thinking in your witchy toolkit:

Fact-Check Everything: Whether it’s a viral claim about moon water curing all ailments or a new trend like “quantum jumping,” take a moment to verify its origins.

Ask Questions: Who benefits from spreading this belief? Are there ulterior motives, such as selling courses, books, or products?

Beware the “Cult of Personality”: Be wary of influencers or leaders who discourage dissent or demand unquestioning loyalty. Spirituality thrives on diversity of thought.

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3. Beware of Spiritual Bypassing

Some New Age ideas encourage bypassing real-world issues in favor of “high vibes only.” While positivity is great, ignoring trauma, systemic problems, or mental health struggles in the name of spirituality is toxic. True witchcraft and paganism embrace balance, acknowledging both the light and the shadow.

✋ Red Flag: Anyone who tells you to “just manifest” your way out of hardship or suggests that you’re attracting negativity because of bad energy. Life is more complex than that.

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4. Stay Grounded in History, Not Appropriation

A common pitfall in modern paganism and witchcraft is cultural appropriation masquerading as spirituality. Using sacred practices or symbols from cultures you’re not part of without understanding their context can be harmful.

If you’re drawn to a practice, research its origins and ensure you’re honoring it respectfully.

Consider focusing on traditions tied to your own ancestry or exploring paths open to everyone, like modern witchcraft.

🌿 Example: Smudging is a specific Indigenous practice. Instead of co-opting it, explore alternative smoke-cleansing methods with herbs like rosemary or lavender.

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5. Cult Warning Signs: Spot Them Early

Not all cults look like Hollywood’s hooded figures chanting in candlelit basements. In spirituality, cult-like behavior often hides under the guise of community.

Red Flags Include:

An authoritarian leader or group demanding absolute loyalty.

Isolation from family, friends, or outside perspectives.

Fear-based control tactics, like threatening spiritual punishment for leaving.

Heavy financial exploitation (e.g., expensive courses or “required” donations).

💡 Remember: True spiritual communities empower you to think for yourself, not rely on a single leader or system.

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6. Separate Science from Spirituality

You can be a witch or pagan and still respect science. Magic doesn’t have to contradict reality—it works alongside it. For example:

Herbs like chamomile and valerian have scientifically proven calming properties, but that doesn’t mean they’re a cure-all.

Astrology can provide insight into your personality, but it’s not a substitute for therapy or medical advice.

🌙 Balance: Use spirituality as a tool for meaning and connection, not as a replacement for critical thinking or evidence-based practices.

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7. Build Your Own Practice

You don’t need to follow every trend or adopt someone else’s path. Witchcraft and paganism are deeply personal journeys. Create a practice that aligns with your values and beliefs, free from the noise of conspiracy theories or cult-like pressures.

Ideas for Starting Out:

Learn about local folklore or the natural cycles in your area.

Experiment with simple rituals, like lighting a candle with intention or journaling under the moon.

Create an altar with objects that resonate with you—crystals, photos, or even trinkets that make you smile.

🌟 Most Importantly: Trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to say “no, thanks.”

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8. Community: Seek Connection, Not Control

Connecting with other witches and pagans can be enriching—but choose your circles wisely. Look for communities that:

Encourage discussion and critical thought.

Respect individual paths and practices.

Avoid fear-mongering or elitism.

👀 Where to Look: Online forums, book clubs, or open public rituals are great starting points. Just remember to maintain healthy boundaries.

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9. Grounding Techniques to Avoid Falling for the “Woo Woo”

When exploring spirituality, it’s easy to get carried away. Grounding yourself regularly can help you stay centered:

Meditate or practice mindful breathing.

Spend time in nature, whether it’s a park or your backyard.

Write down your beliefs and revisit them regularly. Are they still serving you?

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10. Be Open-Minded, Not Gullible

It’s okay to explore the mystical and unknown, but there’s a difference between curiosity and naivety. Stay open to new ideas, but don’t abandon discernment. Your path should feel empowering, not overwhelming or manipulative.

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Final Thoughts

Witchcraft and paganism are all about connecting with nature, yourself, and the divine in ways that feel meaningful and authentic. By staying grounded, informed, and true to yourself, you can embrace this path without falling prey to conspiracy theories or cult-like traps.

Remember: You’re the captain of your own broomstick. Fly wisely.

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people dont join cults because theyre stupid. people join them because cult leaders PREY on them. they find people who are vulnerable and offer them community and perceived safety

they dont come out swinging with "im the only one who can speak to this meteorite" or "the world is going to end on xx/xx/xx". they open by bonding with you over regular activities. you meet in line at the coffee shop and get to chatting, and they give you their number. you find them at the park playing basketball with other members and assume theyre friends.

youre with them for weeks, maybe months before they let you feel like an "insider." they tell you everything in pieces so you have time to internalize it. they encourage you to keep these things secret, because other people wouldnt understand- and if you do tell others and they do call you crazy, that just solidifies that belief and pushes you further into the cult.

sometimes they have members be the reason for certain 'discoveries' or new elements of control. in the cult i was in, i had to be away for an extended period of time, and when i returned, the leader told me they had discovered astral projection was driven by emotion and in their deep yearning to see me had astral projected to my location to watch over me while i was away. while it was framed as a means of companionship, community, and protection, all it truly did was make everybody involved feel that they were always being watched and were never truly alone. it scared us into following the rules of the cult when we were at school or work.

its a gradual process. if i explained everything that i would be taught in one sitting to myself prior to joining the cult, i never would have. i would have laughed and said 'that sounds ridiculous, who would ever believe that?' but thats the point. its boiling frog syndrome. since its so gradual, you dont notice youre boiling until youve already been burned too badly to leave.

in fact, being in this cult did severe restructuring to my system and caused me to discover the fact i even was one- years before i was ready to learn that information. to this day i still struggle with parts- even those that front semi-frequently- following old rules and inflicting old punishments upon us.