I love watching documentaries about amusement park accidents because all of the park officials are saying, "Oh, dear god, none of us could have anticipated that the roller coaster car would detach, this is a freak accident, an act of god!" and then the narrator is like "The Dicktwister 9000 was a known safety hazard and rabies vector since its inception. It was designed by disgraced Cirque du Soleil clown John Roosters, who had never seen a math textbook."

i think having a little dragon i could carry around in my pockets would fix all my problems

happens to the best of us

Are you by chance dyslexic?

:(

a really little animated black cat with giant eyes and no other discernible features

to this day i will never forgive the people who made that one documentary about dragons where they really tried to convince you that dragons were actually real and they'd found the remains of the last dragon to ever live, only for it to turn out to all be fake and made up. i was 8 years old when i watched that and so ready to believe that dragons had once existed that when i found out they lied to me i could have killed someone. i should have.

ME