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The Greatest Psychic Of The 21st Century Vs. That One Bastard!
Summary : In which, a self-proclaimed psychic who can hear everyone’s thoughts is driven insane by the one boy she can’t read at all.
Phainon X Reader
You always thought most people were unbearably loud.
Not physically.
Mentally.
Their thoughts scraped against your skull from morning to night like badly tuned radios.
'Did I leave the stove on?'
'She’s prettier than me.'
'God, I hate this class.'
'I should text him first.'
Thoughts spilled out of people so carelessly. So messily. And after years of hearing them, you had come to one undeniable conclusion:
Most people were idiots.
You, however, were not.
You smiled sweetly at others. Spoke softly. Pretended to be humble.
But internally?
You considered yourself vastly superior.
The ever spectacular, the greatest psychic of the 21st century! the chosen one of this world!
Because while everyone stumbled through life blindly, you saw everything.
You knew who secretly hated each other. Who lied. Who loved. Who cheated. Who stared at your face while thinking things embarrassing enough to make you want to disinfect yourself afterward.
It was almost boring. Even gossips never seemed to entertain you.
Until him.
That bastard.
Phainon.
"You're spacing out again (Y/N)." a warm voice coaxed you out of your thoughts.
You raised your head. And there he was.
The boy who had been the source of all your annoyances for the past 10 years.
He leaned slightly into your desk with that stupidly gentle smile. "Good morning sleeping beauty," he grinned like an enthusiastic puppy, or perhaps a scheming deviant. "You look like shit btw."
Your smile twitched.
Nothing.
Not a single thought.
"I look fine." you muttered, although your fingers rose up to your hair, picking on the strands.
"Ehhh? Lying to yourself is no good (Y/N)."
This brat.
How dare a commoner like him act so rudely? If he were normal, you would have already taught him a lesson.
Unfortunately, he was an exception to your power.
Normally, people’s thoughts grew louder the closer they stood to you.
But him?
Silence.
An endless, infuriating black void of nothing.
No static. No fragments. No emotion.
And you hated it.
Absolutely hated it.
Phainon tilted his head at your obvious discomfort. "You look sick?"
You tried prying into his brain once again.
Nothing.
Either he was immune to your power or just didn't have a single thought in his miniscule brain.
"I'm absolutely fine." you glared at him.
He simply smiled.
God. How you hated him.
"I’m a psychic."
The table went silent at your confession.
The cafeteria was bustling with noise, but at the lone table where you sat, your three friends stared at you in confusion.
Castorice was the first one to break the silence. "That's wonderful!" she beamed.
"HAH? YOU BELIEVE HER???" Cipher, who was sitting beside the purple haired girl seemed flabbergasted at the stupidity.
Mydei simply lowered his drink, blinking in exhaustion.
"I can read minds," you continued seriously, hands folded near your chin. "Everyone’s."
Castorice gasped softly. "That sounds so convenient."
"It’s not." You frowned deeply. "Especially because there’s ONE person whose thoughts I can’t read at all."
Your hand slammed onto the table, the poor thing almost caving because of your rage.
"Phainon. That smug asshole."
"He'd cry if he heard you..." Mydei muttered to himself before sighing. "Why do you wanna read his mind that badly anyway?"
"I don't," you leaned back on your chair. "That's not the issue."
"Then what is?"
"The issue is I can't!" you slammed your fist on the table again, this time leaving a dent.
Cipher groaned, grabbing her plate and putting it on her lap instead.
"... You know," Mydei muttered slowly, "it’s actually pretty obvious what he’s thinking if you just look at his face."
You blinked.
"…What? That's not possible. Are you stupid?" you looked at him like he had said the earth was somehow flat.
The other three stared back.
A slow realization creeped up Mydei's thoughts. 'Oh. She's stupid.'
"I JUST TOLD YOU I CAN READ YOUR MIND ASSHOLE!" You yelled, almost wanting to throw something at him.
"Now, now," Castorice laughed nervously. "Maybe you can't do it because there’s no physical contact! "
You frowned. "Physical contact?"
"In many stories," she explained excitedly, "sometimes powers only work after direct contact."
"Oh, but I have touched him plenty" you tilted your head.
".... What?"
"His hand. His neck. His waist." You counted absentmindedly. "His leg too, I think."
Dead silence again.
"Jeez," Cipher looked away. "and they still haven't got together..."
"And I still can’t read his mind," you finished irritably, ignoring the cat girl.
The three of them looked at you like you were clinically insane.
Then Castorice snapped her fingers. "A kiss!"
You froze. "… A what?"
"In romance stories," she explained seriously, her eyes sparkling with a strange kind of interest. "sometimes lip contact establishes the final connection."
You stared at her.
The idea sounded strangely reasonable.
"…I see."
"That's so stupid-"
Mydei's words drowned as you thought about how you'd go about the plan of kissing Phainon.
The classroom glowed gold beneath the setting sun. Dust floated lazily through warm light.
And across from you, Phainon kept talking.
You weren’t listening. Not really.
Your fingers dug harshly into your palm beneath the desk.
A kiss.
Kiss.
Kiss. Him.
At the time, it had sounded logical.
Now?
Now you felt insane.
How does a kiss establish contact anyway?? What kind of deranged romance logic was that??
The only thing this stupid 'logic' was doing, was turning your thoughts wild.
Your heart thumped nervously in your chest as you imagined it.
'His lips... Near mine...' heat crawled up your neck as the scene played in your head like a cheap romance movie.
You dared to lift your eyes. Your gaze caught on his mouth almost instantly.
On the way his lips shaped each word, parting and closing with an unhurried confidence that felt far too deliberate to ignore.
It was distracting in a way that made your mind wander.
And then he wet his lips.
A slow, absent motion of his tongue, like he had no idea what he was doing to you.
You looked away too quickly, suddenly aware of your own breathing.
'WHAT AM I THINKING??? I MUST HAVE A FEVER! A FEVER I TELL YOU-!'
"Hey."
You flinched violently when you felt Phainon's hand suddenly covering yours.
"You were scratching yourself," he said softly. "I got worried."
He leaned closer. Then gently pressed the back of his hand against your forehead.
Your entire body locked up.
"…You’re not hot," he murmured. "No fever."
His hand retreated. And your fingers immediately touched the spot where they had previously been.
You gulped.
Your gaze dropped back to his lips again.
Without realizing it, your thumb brushed lightly over your own mouth. Your nails pulling on the pink flesh before letting it go.
"Hey, do you wanna kiss?"
You said it before you even realized it.
You froze.
What. Why did you say that?
Silence seemed to surround you in that moment. You opened your moment quickly to deflect, to laugh...to do anything!
But before you could do any of the above, the boy in front of you leaned closer.
And kissed you.
Kissed. You.
Your eyes widened at the sensation. He was all over your vision, in fact he was the only thing in your vision.
The strands of his pale blue hair hid his expression, but the way his ears turned red was a sure sign that he was embarrassed.
By the time he pulled away, you were frozen solid.
He laughed lightly, rubbing the back of his neck.
"That kinda came out of nowhere," he admitted. "But if you insist, I’m more than willing."
You stared at him. For the first time in your life you were rendered speechless.
Yet, you still heard nothing from his mind.
If you could just read his mind, maybe you would have never felt so lost. So confused on what he meant. On what he felt.
"You....CREEP!" you immediately got up, pointing a shaky finger at him, face flushed.
You turned before he could say anything, rushing to the door to escape.
Behind you, you could hear him laughing mockingly at your sudden retreat.
Beyond humiliated you decided to just leave him there to rot.
Unfortunatly for you, he was persistent.
You heard him scrambling behind you, grabbing your bag before chasing after you down the hallway.
"You can’t just ask someone to kiss you and then run away you know!" he called out, amusement clear in his voice.
"You shouldn’t have done it without warning!?"
"How was I supposed to know you were joking?!"
You refused to reply.
You heard footsteps approach you rapidly. Usually, you would have figured out who, what and why the footsteps treaded so closely to your space.
But unlike everyone else, you never sensed Phainon coming.
Because you couldn’t hear him.
And so you turned sharply, ready to give him a piece of your min-
He kissed you again.
This time pulling back with a grin.
"There, now we are even."
Oh.
This is what punishment must feel like. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, you were sure that you were dying.
You gulped, raising your hands to cover your face. But Phainon never let you.
He caught your wrist before you could hide.
"Wait, before you go all pouty on me..." he smiled, stepping even closer. "Tell me why'd you ask me to kiss you?"
"…I wanted to check something." your voice was uncharacteristically soft.
"Aw man," he sighed all too dramatically. "I thought maybe you liked me."
"I don't."
His eyes narrowed at your lie, a suspicious expression on his face. "Yeah?"
His hands left your wrist, one rested on your hip and the other reached up to your neck. His fingers drew aimless circles on your collarbone, watching the way you shivered.
"Your face right now is making me think otherwise."
You opened your mouth.
No sound came out.
His smile softened.
This time when his lips inched closer, he paused. He was giving you time to stop him, to push him away if you wished.
But you did no such thing.
So he took the opportunity you presented and kissed you. Almost slowly. As if he was savoring the taste of you.
This time....it was your mind that went blank.
Extra:
You actually could read his mind.
Just not the way you thought.
Whenever he was far away, you could hear faint fragments.
'What's for lunch today?'
'(Y/N) is so pre-.'
'Should I wear my purple shirt tomorrow? Bet I'll look handsome.'
Small things.
But the moment his attention shifted fully toward you...Silence.
Not because his mind was shielded. Or that he was a rare human immune to your powers.
But because every thought he had simply stopped.
His complete focus, complete attention was all yours to take.
Because to him, the moment he looked at you, nothing else in the world existed strongly enough to think about.
Only you and your voice was all he cared about.
Fin
If anyone got the Mob Psycho reference from the tile I'll actually be so happy. Reigen, the absolute love of my life ❤️
I wanted to write something funny for Phainon (cuz I'm not that cruel) SO HERE WE ARE!
HOPE YOU ENJOYED! LET ME KNOW YR THOUGHTS ❤️
(I tried a lot but I can't seem to find the artist of the Phainon Pic... If any1 knows pls do let me know 😭)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I’m seeing a lot of people saying this post changed their brain chemistry, and as a neuroscientist I wanted to say yes!!! Yes it does!
Wanting something requires dopamine signaling, but liking something doesn’t.
If you have a mental illness/disorder that affects dopamine, you might feel that you don’t want to do the things that you like. You do still like them. You will appreciate having done them.
Let your likes guide you.
(If you want to read more, here’s one experimental paper about it. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5171207/ This theory called the incentive-sensitization theory was originally created to explain behaviors in addiction but can be applied elsewhere as well)
Rewards are both ‘liked’ and ‘wanted’, and those two words seem almost interchangeable. However, the brain circuitry that mediates the psych
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The second worst part is, once you get older, you find yourself saying "you'll understand when you're older" with Full Comprehension of how fucking annoying you're being right now, but also knowing that it's all you can say.
At 33... I fucking hate this. I first started saying it, completely aware of what an ass i sounded like, when i had my kid
It just... Sneaks up on ya too.
Like, okay, so my daughter asked why her dad and i like watching the youtubers we like. We tried explaining but like... One guy is like a disheveled John oliver looking guy who has a feud with a sociopathic puppet named Warmbos (Some More News, @SMN). She sees a tired old guy with his tie askew talking about depressing things in a weird voice. "Why do you like that?" She asks. We explain. She goes "i dont get it" and like a force of nature; like a tsunami of ancient wisdom and full of the power of every one of her ancestors, we bestow the age old knowledge "youll understand when youre older" and she, like so many before her, like her father and i once upon a time, rolls her eyes, sighs, and stalks off in search of actually interesting things and not her parents weird shit.
Afterwards her dad and i shudder it self loathing while laughing it off and rolling pur eyes knowingly at one another. but we also feel a bit more connected to our parents and grandparents.
Meanwhile, kiddo vows, as is the ancient way, to never say that to her kids, if she even has any, because oh my god. But also, she will NEVER be THAT annoying as an adult, because seriously... Why.
the thing about nonfiction is you come out of it with several more books to put on your to be read list and it's only gonna branch out from there so really the only solution is to read every book in human history starting at the beginning
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I want to draw for the other fandoms I usually draw for, but since it’s hard to decide, I’ll do it on a weekly basis. Suggestions on which one to start with are welcome :)
Conspiracy Polar Bear @nohrianshadow - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook
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