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Casper High started replacing "God" with "Phantom". It started because a teacher started screeching at them for "Taking the Lord's name in Vain" whenever they would say "Oh My God" or "Goddammit" or something similar, so instead they would say "Phantomdammit" or "Oh My Phantom". It kinda started as a joke, but as time went on it became second nature.
Heres the thing though: a lot of Spiritual Entities get their power through belief. By invoking Phantom's name in a way thats synonymous with a God's, Casper High inadvertently turned Phantom into a God/God like being.
So yeah, Danny is a God now, he low key hates it, and he blames Dash. Mostly out of spite.
alright I've got to do some quick math to explain attitudes towards AI to my boss.
we're looking to create an AI policy, and when we were talking about this, my boss (older millennial) was genuinely shocked to hear that younger people do not (seem) to view AI positively (a la the recent commencement speakers being booed)
please rb for larger sample size!
Question 1/3
What is your age, and do you feel AI is a net positive or net negative in our lives today?
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Good parents Jack and Maddie crying as their baby boy goes off to college. They've turned off the portal and are in the process of correcting their initial findings so everyone in town tries to avoid them otherwise you will be subjected to the new findings which mark ecto entities as sapient and therefore deserving of rights or gushing about how Danny is off to college since his small business pays so well. He did so well he rejected the scholarships from Gotham University because he said it would be better going to someone who needs it and they did such a good job raising him because look at how successful and generous he is!
The business in question is more of a cheat since being king of the infinite Realms means he is fluent in any language to exist. Safe, dead, or extinct the status of a language doesn't matter to him. With Technus's help he sets up and online portal where people can submit pictures or copies of stuff for him to translate at a premium price. He refuses to take any money from the fruit loop and the money he learns will go towards his clone's schooling when she gets to that point. Right now she is using it for her travels and sending them postcards.
People who claim his translations as their own get black listed with a huge fee coming out of their bank account for the breach of contract. He is trying to keep his business on the down low so those breakthroughs that get on the news are not what he is looking for. His main demographic is rich snobs with private art collections. What Danny doesn't know is that his main customers are the Justice League.
There are some clues but he kinda ignores them. Like when a document submitted is a summoning ritual he sends back a partial translation since the summoning is not good (there are worst beings they could summon but it will still be a hassle) however revealing knowledge of the banishment is harmless.
Gotham cultists hate him because they know he can translate the whole document/book but all of their attempts to trace the sage of tongues (trying to give invisobill kinda vibes) they find a dead end. They try submitting from different computers, locations, routers, anything, but just end up giving Danny more money lol
The Justice League is almost in tears because the jusyice league dark could not agree on the translation of the banishment ritual and everything they tried before had failed.
His favorite translations are the stories that give alien vibes. They talk about certain structures (he thinks it might be structures) as if they are common knowledge. Unknown to him those are Kryptonian fairy tales that Lois submitted. She didn't want to give Jon a funny accent so Clark can read them in Kryptonian while she does the English.
Duke having a hard time with an assignment, sends an inquiry asking if he offers homework help (he wouldn't be using it for career advancement which is against the terms of service BUT he would be claiming it for points so he asked) and that is how Tim finds out about this sketchy website that can translate anything. Danny feels the sincerity and sleep deprivation in the inquiry so he replies back "I admire your courage and will do you a solid but only if your promise to sleep a minimum of 8 hours. I'll know if you don't and snitch so go to sleep đ´" The translation is attached and already in the format his teacher requested.
Steph: How is he gonna know?
Duke: Idk but he is a life saver!
Tim: Duke, did you just sell your soul for a homework assignment?
Duke: Let me sleep and then we'll see what happens đĽą
Tim is driven crazy because he needs to know who is behind the website. And also because Constantine was kinda in the area and said no. Duke has his soul even if he doesn't sleep, lucky bugger.
Tim feels like the world is conspiring against him when it sends the cutest distraction in one his gen ed courses. He will date the cute guy AND solve this mystery out of spite.
"Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they're 15" this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit
I want to share some wisdom from my high school art teacher.
In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought sheâd try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:
âSo hereâs the thing⌠I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and youâre doing interesting things with them.
âMy biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Donât hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.â
Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didnât limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.
Takeaway here: be as cringe as you want. Donât limit yourself based on other pplâs tastes. Theyâre not you, and you are incredible đ
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS EXCITING NEWS. SO I TALKED TO MY PARENTS AND AFTER HEAVY PERSUADING, THEY FINALLY SAID THAT THEY WILL LET ME GO TO DISNEYLAND BUT ONLY IF THIS GET'S 500,000 NOTES.
THEY THINK THAT I WONâT GET THESE MANY NOTES SO THEYâRE TRYING TO WEASEL OUT OF LETTING ME GO. PLEASE HELP ME FULFILL MY HOPES FOR THE SUMMER GUYS. PLEASEEEE
#You guys are so mean #I got no friends on tumblr to help me #for gods sake you guys got a fluffy chicken for a person #but not a single note to let me go to disneyland #hopes and dreams thoroughly crushed
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One under-appreciated breed of fic writer are the ones who hyperfocus on logistics to the exclusion of all canon shortcuts, and thus usually strike upon an awesome way to flesh out the worldbuilding or characters.
Like, Iâm not necessarily talking realism here since often itâs still pretty far from realistic, but more like, âsomeone has to be running spies in this fantasy kingdom, and weâve seen the whole royal court, so which background character is it? How does that change these three major interactions?â Or âreal life historical nobility did in fact have some things to do that were like jobs, how does this human disaster cope with running an estate?â Or âthereâs no reason for a sci-fi robot detective to know how to whitewater kayak, whereâd she learn?â Or âif this guy is serving the emperor directly he has to be way high up in the space empire servant hierarchy, why is he doing this menial task for someone else? Whatâs his motive? Does he perhaps have the secret space telepathy?â
Anyway Iâm always DELIGHTED to find a fic or writer who asks these questions because the fics themselves are universally bangers.
We've all seen this really excellent fanart from @cookiejar614, right? Right. Anyway, enjoy.
CW for gore, dead bodies, bad jokes
----------
Edward Lancer was sorely out of his depth when he parked his car beside the dead body of his sophomore-year English student.
In fact, he wasnât exactly parked. And in fact, maybe his student wasnât exactly dead. These were two thoughts that warred for his attention as he shouted things like âHEY!â and âOh my god!â and popped his door while his car yelped alarms and rolled backwards.
âHey!! HEY!! Oh my god oh my god.â Lancer jammed the PRNDL stick and jammed buttons and maybe accidentally popped his trunk while blaring his brights and finally stumbling out of his car stupid-style in a graceless flail of limbs to crash himself beside his studentâs body.
And he DID look stupid, didnât he? Yelling things still like âHey!â and âOh my god!â and âAahhh!!â while hover-handing his studentâs motionless body, all too adrenaline-sick to know what to do, and yet out-of-body enough to only understand he, Edward Lancer, looked very stupid.
âFenton! Danny! Danny!!! Danny!! Hey!!! Oh my god. Oh my god.â Lancer finally grabbed the boyâs shoulder, and it was far too cold and far too wet and far too oily, which made Lancer recoil in shock, shaking his hand out like a water-logged dog might. Wet and wet and cold and cold and the slamming in Lancerâs ribcage was going to tear his heart out right onto the concrete, if he didnât vomit it up first.
âOh my god. Oh my god oh my god.â Lancer grabbed him again. Rolled him over. And dead-to-the-world blue eyes rolled up to his, burst capillaries worming from his nose which was smashed in bloody. That blood trickled down his face, made itself cozy in the hem of his collar, then swelledâgreedily and gluttonouslyâto swampy saturation of the rest of Dannyâs shirt, unrecognizable beneath the fist-sized absence of flesh which had been ripped out of the center of the boyâs chest.
âOh my god,â Lancer whimpered.
He held the boy closer, even when it made him oily wet with blood which shone almost green beneath his beater carâs brights. He pressed two fingers of his left hand to Dannyâs bloody neck to feel all the nothing that would not pulse under his touch. âI should haveâI should haveââ
Lancer dug his left hand into his pocket, work pants ruined bloody. He spared a moment to wonder if he was dreaming, or dead, or about to look very stupid if his phone was NOT in this pocket. What was he doing. What was he holding. Lancer flicked the phone open and moved his blood-slicked thumb across 911.
It rang an eternity. And an eternity was long enough for Lancer to nauseously mutter âOh my godâ four more times while rocking with the body.
â911. Whatâs your emergency?â
âI need help. Please send help. I have a hurt student here. He has no pulse. His chest isâheâs hurt.â Stupid. Stupid statements. Hurt. Yeah. And the class gerbil went to the farm.
âCan you give me your location?â
Lancer looked around, which was also stupid, as if he might see street signs decorating the dead-end edges of a never-used parking lot so far from the center of town that half the lampposts had gone dead and never been serviced back to life.
âThe uhâthe very edge of Amity Park. South edge.â Lancer desperately willed his brain to work and count back the turns heâd taken in his huffing car. âTake Larson Street down. All the way down. Turn right on the last side road and keep going.â
âOkay.â
Lancer stared down at Dannyâs body, and his fear lit anew. âItâs Danny Fenton! Daniel Fenton! Please come fast. Please, he needs help.â
Maybe Lancer imagined it under all the blood pounding in his ears, but he swore he heard a wave of static fizzle across the cell connection.
âSorry. Can you please try to make sense? I canât help you if you canât communicate with me.â
âAmity Park! South! Larson Street down, then take the last road on the right! Itâs Daniel Fenton and he needs help!â
The static fizzled again, traveling across his brain.
âSorry sir. Please call back if you can be reasonable with me.â
âHEY NO!!â
Then two things happened at once: The cell line went dead. And someone stepped out from the shadows.
Lancer snapped up at the motion, freshly soaked in adrenaline at the horror of who, or what, had found him. Aware and too aware of how vulnerable he was, kneeling in blood and gravel, which made himself so much smaller than the silhouette of the thing framed in the brights of his car.
âOhâŚ. Oh noâŚ.â
Lancer looked at the body in his hands. He looked up at the newcomer, whose flooding flashlight beam pierced Lancerâs eyes. Lancer looked at the body again, spots in his vision. He looked up to blind himself in the flashlight again. The body. The new-comer. He looked at both, and he understood less than he had at any point tonight.
âWhat?â
The pants stepped into clear sight firstâbaggy and loose and catching under the boyâs feet while he walked. Then his shirt, white and splotched wetly green. And then his face, ice-blue eyes staring at Lancer with an expression of reproachful disdain, as if Lancer were holding his diary, and not cradling the boyâs own dead body.
Danny Fenton flicked his flashlight off, and for a few seconds, Lancer could not help but feel like he was committing some social faux paus by holding also Danny Fentonâs body so close.
âWhat⌠What?!â Lancer asked.
âHey uh⌠so this is a crazy dream,â the living Danny answered, enunciated with strain. He tapped the flashlight against his open palm. âREALLY a wild dream youâre having. Maybe you should go home and go to sleep? So that you can wake up from it.â
Lancer did not move. His brain screamed so many things at him.
Then new voices skimmed his ears, further off and fainter. Bouncy in their intonation, almost sing-song. Call and response. One deeper and one higher-pitched. Some deeply-buried part of Lancerâs mind almost wanted to assign them to the voice of Mr. and Mrs. Fenton. The sharp tensing and wide-eyed panic that zapped into Dannyâs face perhaps confirmed it.
âSo this is all CRAZY, right? Haha. Anyway. We need to move that.â Danny pointed directly at the body.
Mr. Fentonâs booming baritone voice sang closer. Lancer saw the faint edges of a flashlight swinging in the distance.
âNOW, actually,â Danny clarified. âThatâs your car, right? Thatâs your trunk?â
Lancer was processing nothing. The wet oily cold body was so so heavy in his arms.
âIf we can maybe just LIFT that into your trunk then, yeah?!â Danny asked. There was panic in his voice. Lancer could empathize with that panic, but he suspected they were panicked for very different reasons.
Lancerâs brain finished buffering.
âIn my TRUNK?!â Lancer asked with a crack in his voice.
âShh shh shhhhhhh itâs fine!â Danny insisted, pushing his hands toward Lancer as if to calm him. âMy parents have super good ectoplasm cleaner. Iâll get some to use on your trunk. Trust me. I use it on my clothes all the time.â
Lancer was cradling a dead body in his arms.
âWhat the FUCK is going on?â Lancer finally asked.
âThis is a really weird dream, Mr. Lancer! And if you HELP me move this body, Iâm sure the dream will end much faster.â
There was a dead body in his arms. His own dead student. And somethingâ
--Somethingâ
--was trying to convince him to part with it.
Cell phone still in hand, Lancer brandished his left arm, out, extended, in a very stupid-looking facsimile of brandishing a weapon. Except it was his flipped-open cell phone, silent since the 911 dispatcher had left him for dead.
The living Dannyâmaybe playing along, or maybe responding genuinelyâraised both hands in a show of harmlessness. Like Lancer truly had him at gunpoint.
Danny Fentonâs wet cold dead body was so heavy in Lancerâs single cradling arm.
âWho are you?â Lancer asked very simply.
And Danny, arms still raised high, let out a sigh deep enough to deflate his shoulders. Whatever light was in his eyes went dull, resigned to an acceptance Lancer could not in the moment understand.
âI am your worst student,â Danny answered. And he lowered one arm exclusively to point. âAnd THAT is the dead body of my ghost clone.â
Lancer swallowed. He pondered on these words that did not clarify anything to him. He finally looked at the body again and seemed to recognize fully for the first time that the green blood was not a trick of the light. The limp limbs and strewn body were, genuinely, saturated in ecto-green.
And now, so was Lancer.
âGhost⌠clone?â
A flashlight beam arced through the parking lot. Danny ducked, crouched at the knees, fresh panic painting wet across his face.
âYes! Ghost clone! Can we move it now?!â
âWhy is there a ghost clone? Why do you have a ghost clone?â
âMy PARENTS. They. You knowâscientists, ghost scientists. They get up to stuff! Cloning, you know, haha! Now can weââ
âYour parents made a clone of youââ
ââmaybe just put the body in your trunk and driveââ
ââa clone which is DEAD, now?â
âClones die! You know, unstable. Happens! Now Iâm sorry to be rude Mr. Lancer but we reallyââ
Jack Fentonâs chuckle rolled through the parking lot, sourced from somewhere in the woods and stepping closer.
âA clone. A GHOST clone.â
âWhich would REALLY fit nicely in your trunkââ
âThis is absolutelyâthis isâI think we need toâhave a word with someone about this.â
âOkay but maybe after you put it in youââ
âI AM NOT PUTTING A DEAD BODY IN MY TRUNK,â Lancer answered, and Danny flinched hard enough to back up a few steps.
âShhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!â Danny insisted.
âWe do notâI will not have a dead body in my trunk that your parents made. Cloned you? Cloned you AND the clone died? What? What!! Mr. Fenton I am going to stay right here, and I am going to TALK to your parents about what an absolutely unacceptable, horrificââ
âNo, no no no no no,â Danny interjected with an urgent hiss. He held his palms out, smudged green. âI lied! I lied I lied! Sorry! My parents did not make the clone. But we do need to hide it from them!â
âWho made the clone?â
Danny stared back like Lancer were forcing him to admit his crush to the whole listening school. He stared back looking like heâd rather throw himself into the open top of a volcano than be here, now, subjected to this line of questioning.
Voices were closer.
âVlad Masters, okay! Billionaire Vlad Masters! Our dear new mayor!â Danny stepped nearerâan urgent marchâyet gentle, coaxing, like the body were a dog toy Danny was trying to wrest from a bratty pup. âIs that good enough? Okay? Are you satisfied? Because if yes we really need to moveââ
âThe mayorâŚ?â Lancer knew⌠not a lot about Amity Parkâs new mayor. Some corporate talking head with enough money to fund all the public rejuvenation projects he was using to bolster his image. Seemed good for the town, at least. âThe mayor is making ghost clones of you?â
âYes!â
âWhy?â
Danny ducked another flashlight beam. And the panic in his face blossomed into full blown fear. âIâll tell you. I PROMISE Iâll tell you. But please, right now, please please please, just help me move this body. Iâm begging you. I need help.â
I need help. And Lancer remembered the same face, the same voice, asking him this before. Wasnât that the point?
Lancer let out the breath held in his chest. He willed himself to look at the clone, understand its weight, its shape, its open glassy eyes. It sent such a primal pang of terror through his chest.
And Lancer stowed his phone, slipped his left arm under the crook of the cloneâs knees. He lifted the whole weight of the body. His back immediately scolded him.
The weight lessened. Danny grabbed himself from under his own armpits, bearing half the weight. Danny pivoted, directed them bothâDanny backwards and Lancer diagonally-forwardâto Lancerâs trunk.
Lancer moved with Dannyâs motions. Lancer had, in fact, managed to accidentally pop the trunk while he was jamming every button in his car. It was there, open-mouthed, practically waiting for the body whichâLancer unhappily acknowledgedâDanny was right about fitting nicely inside.
Lancer did his best to lower the dead body of Danny Fenton gracefully into his trunk. He did not succeed. The body rolled out of his grip as a tangle of limbs. Its cheek and broken nose pressed flat to Lancerâs dirty carpet. The neck struck an angle that necks should not strike. The arms went opposite ways, twisting behind the body in a backwards hug.
Lancer reached forward again, because he needed to right the body.
He did not make it that far before Danny shut the trunk.
âŚ
In the dark backroads of Amity Park, streetlights were threadbare. Once in every 10 or 15 seconds one would pass overheard, dousing Lancer and his student in a pale flood that illuminated the ecto-green stains soaking their clothes.
They hit bumps in the road. The trunk went clunk. The trunk went ker-clunk.
âTake a left here.â Danny said, dull. âWeâre near the golf course. It hasnât been used in forever. No one comes out there.â
Lancer pulled a left. His tires screeched and huffed. Theyâd been doing that. They maybe needed service. Lancer maybe needed service on his car that had a dead body stuffed in its trunk.
âGolf course will have gardening tools. Shovels.â
Lancer hit the curb on his turn, too startled at the casualness with which Danny spoke. Lancer made the decision to believe Danny meant anything other than what Lancer was pretty sure Danny meant by âShovelsâ.
Danny was right about the golf course being empty. And maybe a December evening after 5pm when the sun had already set to pitch blackness was not peak golfing time anyway, but the overgrown hedges of grass at the lot perimeter and the deep cracks in the asphalt all suggested no one had been here in years.
This meant Lancer had his pick of spots. He chose one which was maybe just far away enough from the nearest streetlight to hide his car from Godâs prying eyesâor any CCTV camera that might be mounted on the streetlight pole.
Danny popped his side door and slid out, fluid, all momentum, as if magnetism brought him to the back trunk. He stood there, eyeing Lancer through the rear window, waiting.
âPop the trunk,â Danny demanded.
Lancer exhaled. He flipped off his ignition. He, less gracefully, popped his own door and exited the car.
âYou forgot to pop the trunk,â Danny repeated.
âMr. Fenton,â Lancer said. âDanny⌠Fenton.â He looked the boy up and down again. Were the boyâs clothes always that big, or was it the ecto-gore weighing the fabric down? Did Dannyâs eyes always look so intense, or was it only when hauling bodies in the middle of nowhere?
âMr. Lancer,â Danny responded.
âAre you⌠Danny Fenton?â Lancer asked. He hoped his tone would not betray the roiling confusion tying his insides into knots.
Danny sighed. âYes. From such classic hits as âmissing your class on Tuesdayâ and âgetting a 57 on the last test.ââ
Lancer faltered. He did not usually remember exact student grades, but he did in fact remember Danny Fentonâs recent 57. Perhaps only because Danny got the same exact score two tests in a row, and the sight of two exact 57âs stacked atop each other in the grade book had caught Lancerâs attention, for just the idle coincidence of it all.
âDo you need more proof that Iâm me? Because Iâm me.â
âAnd a ghost clone of you is in my trunk.â
âWhichâby the wayâI think we should take out of your trunk now.â
âVlad Masters?â Lancer asked, pinching his nose. The headache squeezing behind his eyes was in full skull-pounding swing. âWhy is Vlad Masters making clones of you?â
Danny suddenly would no longer look at Lancer. He busied himself, unconvincingly fascinated, in figuring out if he could manually pop Lancerâs trunk.
âYou canât manually pop the trunk,â Lancer said.
Danny shifted his hand in one fast weird motion. The trunk popped open.
Danny reached inside the trunk. Lancer reached for him faster. Wet hand around wet wrist, Lancer seized his student.
âDanny,â Lancer scolded, teacher voice in full bloom. It was surreal. Wrong. As if the guilty swing of Dannyâs eyes to meet his was a student caught skipping detention, and not one caught pulling his own dead body from Lancerâs trunk. âDanny, I need you to work with me. You said you would explain,â Lancer elaborated, softer.
Danny freed his hand from Lancerâs grip in another weird sleight Lancer could not visually track, but Danny no longer prodded at the trunk. He took a step back on the sidewalk, soaking in the faint edges of the streetlamp lights.
âI need you to explain why Vlad Masters is cloning you.â
âBecause he wants me as his son,â Danny answered, strained, all said a bit too quickly after a few moments of silence.
âWhat does that mean? As his son?â
âHe wants a son who is me, but I wonât ever accept him as my dad, so this is Vladâs fun little Plan B.â
âYou already have a dad,â Lancer said, which was a stupid thing to say.
âOh cloning me is only part of the plan. The rest of the plan is killing my dad and marrying my mom.â
âWhat?â Lancer asked, feeling like he missed a stair.
âHat-trick! Kill my dad! Marry my mom! Replace me with a ghost clone! Whichâhonestly!ââ Danny threw his arms out wide. ââheâs getting closer and closer to! And soon enough one of these days heâs gonna make a clone actually stable enough to sneak into my bedroom and slit my throat in my sleep and take over my life as me.â
Lancer was striking his earlier missed-stair analogy. This was a complete falling-down-the-staircase of speechless slack-jawed surprise on his face.
âIâd⌠Iâd like to believe if someone replaced you with a ghost, people would take notice.â
Danny barked a laugh at this. The sudden spark of mania in Dannyâs eyes told Lancer he was reaching new heights with the stupid things heâd said tonight.
âOh you donât know the half of it.â
Lancer said nothing. Danny motioned to the trunk.
âOkay, so how about,â Danny continued, âif you watch the body, Iâll go find some shovels.â
âWhat? No. What?!â Lancer answered, a bit mad at himself for letting the silence linger long enough for Danny to fixate on the body again. âDanny, youâre in danger.â
âNot arguing that.â
âWe need toâwell we need to call the police, clearly.â
âOh, go ahead and try. Let me know how much that doesnât work.â
âWhat does that mean?â
And the eyeroll that met him was so very 14-year-old.
Danny sunk his hand into his pocket, fished out his cell phone. He held it up for display and flicked it open with bravado. He made sure Lancer was watching closely while he punched in â9â and â1â and â1â.
The dialing took another eternity. Just long enough for Lancer to shiver in the wind and notice the chemical ozone smell that had sunk into their clothes.
â911. What is your emergency?â rang out from speakerphone.
âYeah. Hi. This is Danny Fenton. Vlad Mastersâthe mayor guyâis trying to kill me.â Elbow propped to palm. Phone held to cheek. Casual. Like someone ordering a pizza. âIâd really really like some help with this.â And hold the olives.
Clear to Lancerâs ears, this time, static fizzled like a wash through the cell phone speaker.
âSorry, can you try speaking coherently? I really cannot help you if you wonât make sense.â
Danny snapped the phone shut with flourish. Lancer wasnât entirely sure what he just witnessed, but the shiver of static, the sudden denial from the dispatcher, curdled rotten in his gut.
âHeâs got the whole town in his overshadowing ghost pocket,â Danny answered with a bite of hatred in his voice. He stared at his own pocket while he restowed his phone. âHeâs got⌠everyone.â Danny looked up, just enough to watch Lancer from the corner of his eye. âExcept you, I guess. Because why the fuck would he go after my English teacher?â
Lancer was cold for reasons that had nothing to do with the wind. Suddenly, he could no longer remember the last time he had to shush Fenton, Manson, and Foley for talking to each other during class.
âWhat does âheâs got everyoneâ mean?â
âIt means Iâve got no one,â Danny answered bitterly. And for all the bravado Danny had been putting on, Lancer saw the crack of something childishly scared break through Dannyâs façade.
âHave you been dealing with this all alone?â Lancer asked. âIs no one helping you?â
âYouâre helping me,â Danny looked up, then away again. âMaybe. If youâll let me get the body out of your trunk.â
âI amâI doâwant to help you. I think I am making that clear. I also do not think just wantonly burying a body on a golf course is what will help you.â
âIt will help me, actually.â
âNot with all of this!â Lancer gestured widely, then pulled his hand back in to pinch against his nose, in hopes of finding any slight relief from the skull-rattling pain in his head. He breathed in deep, and exhaled deep, shuddering all the while. âI am concerned for you.â He released his nose, looked at Danny, and the intensity on Dannyâs face made him look away. âI would like it if you would allow me just a moment to express that."
âLook, I appreciate it, okay? Really, I do. And I promise, you can express all the concern you want later,â Danny answered. He spread his arms, staring at the ecto-gore staining his fingers. âRight now, you can help me by helping get rid of this bodyââ
Get rid ofâŚ
ââor I guess by brainstorming a great excuse for anyone who might ask some questions about why Iâm dead.â
âI just need you to let me wrap my head around the whole thing first,â Lancer pushed back. He thought that was fair at leastâto want a bit more time to think before being conscripted into burying a body. âItâs a lot to take in.â
âYes, okay, fine, but can we please do that AND focus on the dead body in your trunk?â
âConsidering you wonât let me focus on anything elseâŚâ Lancer looked up. âAt least explain why burying the body is so important.â
âBecause I donât want Vlad getting his hands on it and learning from his mistakes,â Danny answered, sharp. âBecause I donât want my parents finding it and asking me questions I canât answer for them. Because I donât want some random citizen finding me dead and âŚmaking this into a whole thing I canât control.â Danny went quiet. His shoulders hunched, and it made his whole body smaller. ââŚBecause this is literally the only thing I can do about any of this right now.â
Lancer watched him. Dannyâs aggressive eyes found him, and then the fire left them.
âYouâre right,â Danny continued. âItâs a lot to wrap your head around. I clearly havenât. I donât know what Iâm doing. I canât stop Vlad. I canât rat him out. I canât get help. I just know I can keep burying the dead clones. So⌠Iâm going to keep doing that.â Danny pointed to Lancerâs car. âSo if youâre opting out of this, could you at least give me the body so I can bury it myself?â
Lancer stared back, and there were a hundred empty reassurances he wanted to give, and none which felt true.
âIâll watch the body,â Lancer said. âGo get the shovels.â
âŚ
Lancerâs back was not cut out for the task at hand. He had that suspicion going in, and he was proven very unhappily correct at the very first cleave of shovel to earth that carried like an electric shock through his lower vertebrae.
Lancer eased off his handle, because maybe this was a sign he was doing it wrong. He inspected the dirt for answers. He inspected the pile of two other shovels crisscrossed on the ground, because maybe heâd have better luck with a different shovel, and maybe there was a reason Danny had grabbed four of them. And four shovels from where, Lancer did not know. Danny had simply vanished and reappeared with all of them. Probably, Lancer assumed, from a maintenance shed on premise, which would almost certainly have been locked, and which Lancer did not ask how Danny had unlocked. Probably the same way he had popped Lancerâs locked trunk.
Danny broke ground next to him, and he did it with far more impact and fluidity than Lancerâs meager attempt. There was concentrated effort in Dannyâs tight muscles as he took his shovel like a butcherâs knife to the earth. Foot stepping heavy to the back of the spade. Twist and bend of the handle to sift dirt to shovel. Full rotation of his trunk as he hefted the dirt away. Then Danny repeated the motion faster, with more aggression, shaking slightly, like he was trying very hard to bleed away the tangle of emotion that was making his face so pale.
So Lancer did the same. Blunt spade of his shovel into the cold earth. Weight stepped onto the back of the blade, wiggling and wriggling it until the earth moved. He lifted dirt and flung it aside. And then Lancerâs back complained all over as he started the cycle anew.
Lancer was breathing heavy by the third cycle. Sweat dripped along his jawline despite the cold. He watched Danny from the corner of his eye, noting Danny moved easily twice as fast. Lancer did not like how practiced the boyâs movements were.
They dug in silence, tucked against the forest edge along Hole 1. Theyâd set up their craft just beyond the overgrown golf course, behind the bush line, contending with ambling roots and sharp rocks and unearthed bugs that protested against their digging. Danny had hitched his flashlight to the branch-nook of a tree, angled down to light their work and paint deep shadows fanning outward. Wind filled their silence, and so did each sshhnk of their blades, and so did the heavy grunts from Lancer, and so did the occasional skitter of a small rodent which set Lancerâs neck hairs on edge every time.
They dug. And dug. It was almost peaceful, almost meditative, compared to everything that came before. But mostly, it was tedious and difficult monotony, punctuated only by the brief breaks Danny took, leaning his weight on his own shovel. Lancer was thankful for those breaks, leaning in his own way as to maybe conceal how absolutely winded he felt. Danny did not look winded, or even sweaty. Judging from the look on Dannyâs face, the breaks were far more about his mental state than his physical one.
Then each time, Danny would resume his digging, and Lancer would follow suit.
ââIn his overshadowing pocketââŚâ Lancer mused aloud, after more than enough silence had passed. Shovel, dirt. âIs Vlad Masters a ghost?â
Lancerâs eyes drifted to Danny. The boy was consumed in the dirt, pointedly ignoring Lancerâs question.
âIs Vlad Masters a ghost, Danny?â
Danny sighed. He slammed shovel into dirt. âDing ding ding.â
âAnd heâs after your parents,â Lancer heaved his shovel with a grunt and sucked in another breath, ââŚbecause theyâre ghost hunters?â
Danny laughed. He folded his arms over the shovel handle, leaning his weight to it. âOh, no. Itâs entirely personal.â
Lancer thought about prying more. But it was hard to keep asking questions while his arms dug and his lungs ached for air.
âThey all went to college together. Friends,â Danny elaborated, unprompted. âThen my dad caused a lab accident that ruined Vladâs life. This whole thing is a grudge 20 years in the making.â
Lancer carried out another cycle of hefting dirt from their shallow hole. Danny had stopped speaking. Lancer pulled in enough air to ask.
âWhat kind of accident?â
Danny wasnât digging anymore. He also wasnât looking in Lancerâs direction anymore. He had sunk down a fraction, half-crouched, fingers still clasped to his shovel handle which bore his weight.
âDid you father kill Vlad Masters?â Lancer prompted.
ââŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚNo,â Danny answered, after far too long thinking about it for Lancerâs comfort.
âBut Vlad Masters is dead, right? Heâs a ghost.â
âNot⌠really. You can be a living ghost. Kind of.â
âWhat is a living ghost?â
âThat thing was,â Danny released one hand from his shovel to point absently in the direction of Lancerâs trunk, âuntil recently.â
âWas that clone alive?â Lancer asked, and he felt a twinge of regret immediately at the way Dannyâs shoulders buckled closer to his already hunched body.
âI dunno. Define âaliveâ, Mr. English Teacher.â
âWas he⌠conscious? Autonomous?â
âMaybe,â Danny muttered. âThe conscious part at least. I dunno what autonomous means.â
âDid he have a will of his own?â
Danny stared a whole lot at the dirt and blood obscuring all of his once-white shoes.
âI think so.â
Dannyâs body sunk lower by fractions. His crouch deepened, knees bent sharper, arms extending to keep his hands wrapped to his shovel handle while his butt connected with the dirt. He looked like a frog almost, crouched to the ground, gorily green, small to everything around him.
âIâm gonna sit here in the dirt for a second, okay? I donât feel well.â
Lancer stared. He was not sure if this was an invitation for him to take a break as well, but he was certain it was a sign to change the subject.
âYou can⌠stop digging,â Lancer offered. âI canâI thinkâdo the rest.â And this was, perhaps, a complete lie. Because their hole was not even a foot deep so far, and Lancer suspected that even an offensively shallow grave would still have numerous more feet to go.
Danny stared up through his bangs. âDo you want to do the rest of the digging?â
ââWantâ is not an apt descriptor of anything which has happened tonight.â
Danny let out a muted laugh. He pushed himself up, weight braced on his shovel, taking deliberate slow breaths. He stood nearly to full height when he let out a sharp noise, clenching his fist around the center of his shirt while he buckled a fraction forward.
âAre you okay?â Lancer asked.
âFine,â Danny said, loosening his grip on his shirt. âI think Iâm above my doctor-recommended daily dose of stress.â
Lancerâs eyes wandered to the trunk of his car, and he could not help but agree.
âI do believe the current recommended dose for a 14-year-old is one unreasonably tight deadline for an English essay per week. Iâd have to review the literature about burying clone bodies.â
Danny let out another breathy laugh. He brought himself to full height now, but kept his weight braced to the shovel. âI didnât know you were funny, Mr. Lancer. Thatâs good. I thought Iâd be carrying this whole conversation.â
âIâve always been funny,â Lancer answered deadpan.
âYou donât get to decide that. That sentence will be left to a jury of teenage students.â
âThe word you are searching for is âverdict.ââ
âHard-assery is not funny.â
âIâd consider it pedantry.â
âIâve changed my mind!â Danny drove his spade deep into the earth and shoved it deeper with his foot. A bead of sweat dripped down the curve of his jawline. âI was having a better time burying bodies alone! You may leave!â
Lancer matched himânot quite achieving the same depth of earth-piercing, but he managed to strike a soft enough patch of dirt to fill the shovel while he hefted the dirt away.
The silence that followed was better than before. Some of the anxious twisting in Lancerâs chest had loosened. It was replaced with the glow of pride knowing that, if even for a moment, heâd gotten Danny to smile.
Lancer fell back into the metronome motion of their task. It was almost comfortable. Or it would have been, if Lancerâs back didnât hurt.
âŚ
By the time the hole hit one foot deep, Lancer was at least as much sweat as he was ecto-gore. Both weighed down his clothes tremendously. Both made him smell in a way that had him fantasizing about his shower. Both made him really wish he could shed his work clothes and strip down to his underwear. Though he figured, burying a dead body or not, it wouldnât exactly be appropriate to stand around in his underwear beside a student.
But at least, at one foot deep, Lancer figured this was good enough progress for him to call for his own desperately needed break.
Lancer jammed his shovel into the dirt beside their grave. Danny glanced up from his trance-like digging.
âI need to⌠well, get my water bottle from my car, at the least. And maybe sit for five or ten minutes.â
âOkay,â Danny said, and he resumed his digging.
Lancer had hoped maybe Danny would join him, or at least agree the break was needed. But he also couldnât blame Danny for maybe just wanting this done as soon as possible. Lancer wanted it done too.
So Lancer hefted himself out of the grave alone. He shook his arms out, feeling the strain on tight muscles, the static fizzing through his palms. He evaluated the twinging displeasure in his back. It ached in steady rhythm. Lancer considered striking a vow to stand more during the day from this day forward, as he flexed his palms and studied the reddening callouses burgeoning at the base of every finger.
He shot one last look toward Danny (âDo you need anything?â Lancer thought about asking, but Danny was focused back on digging.) before turning on heel. The car fell back into his line of sight. It struck a funny picture to Lancer, somehowâlike a patient dog waiting in the lot for them, watching their slow grave progress. Like it might thump its tail at his approach.
Maybe Lancer just wanted to feel like they had another companion in it all. That way he could believe it was not just him, the adult, and his terrified and gore-soaked student, who was doing all of this as his best answer to being hunted into replacement.
Lancer shivered violently. It was the December night and the wind piercing his soaked-through clothes, surely. But it was also more than that. The car got closer, and still Lancer threw glances over his shoulder every few seconds, as if something might happen to Danny in the moments he stepped away.
Lancer worked his fingers into his door handle. They felt strange being pressed to something that was not the hilt of a shovel. Lancer ignored this as he opened the door, snagged his water bottle (chilled to ambient temperature, which was nice), andâin an impulsive moment, with one glance spared to the gravesite to ensure Danny was not watching himâLancer pressed the button to pop the trunk.
It opened with the quietest clunk. A mouth drifting lazily open. And in the moment, Lancer was afraid. He approached cautiously, as if his trunk contained something that might leap at the first sharp movement. He was afraid in a way that did not make total sense to him. When the trunk contents fell into faint view, scarcely lit, Lancer found there was nothing scary about the clone inside.
Its limbs were still twisted, face still pressed to the carpet, but the bounce and motion of the car ride had shifted the body slightly. A single unseeing eye was now visible, staring at all the nothing which was the interior of Lancerâs trunk.
The sight did, absolutely, fill Lancerâs gut with a twisting horror. It was just not horror of the body. It was a horror for everything that led to the bodyâs existence, and its demise. In the moment, Lancer felt only a deep sadness for the body, the sort which sunk like winter cold into his bones.
(One of these days heâs gonna make a clone actually stable enough to sneak into my bedroom and slit my throat in my sleep.)
Had this clone been programmed to hunt Danny down and kill him while it was alive? Were its last moments dedicated to slaughtering the boy who was now digging its grave alone on the golf course? If that were true, maybe none of it mattered now. Not now that it was dead.
Lancer couldnât picture this body as violent. It was too small, and too young. He couldnât feel any contempt for it. He only stared at it, and felt more sorry for it than anything else heâd seen in the world.
âLancer?â Dannyâs voice rang from the gravesite.
âComing! Couldnât ahâfind my keys,â Lancer said.
He set his water bottle down. He reached into the trunk and adjusted the body onto its back. He shifted its head to a comfortable angle. He pulled the legs so they did not twist. He grabbed the arms by the wrists and laid them gently, one overtop the other, on the cloneâs chest. It brought his attention back to the gaping wound there, fist-sized, from which all the blood poured out to soak the shirt Lancer recognized from a hundred class periods. It was the same shirt that Danny in the gravesite was wearingâeither perfectly cloned, or purchased for a completely fluid takeover of Dannyâs identity.
It was of course not a perfect recreation anymoreânot with the gaping hole, or with the other rips and tears that peppered the fabric at collar, shoulder, waist, and armpit. Each, Lancer realized, a wound of its own.
âDid you⌠maybe leave your keys over here?â Danny called out again.
âNope! Nope, just found them. Sorry about that.â
âI wonât. Iâm coming right back over.â Guilt twinged in Lancerâs chest at the thought that, stripped of context, Danny sounded a bit like a lost child at the grocery store, nervous where Lancer had gone, perhaps even fearful Lancer had left entirely.
Lancer gave one last look to the body. He promised heâd bury it more carefully than heâd placed it in the trunk. He promised heâd be the one to do it, and let Danny avoid the horror of it at least once.
He made this promise to himself and to the body, and Lancer shut the trunk again.
âŚ
Lancer lost his sense of time. At least any sense in minutes and hours. The rate by which the grave carved deeper into the earth became his only true sense of progression. And in that sense, time slowed down, because Lancer was tired, and Danny was tired. Lancer made shallower hacks at the earth. He spent more time resting between swings. Danny still pushed harder, but his bangs had soaked through with sweat, and he spent longer and longer resting on the handle of his shovel, trying to act like he was breathing normally.
Lancer shared his water bottle with Danny. Sometimes, they both sat down in the golf course grass. When Lancer stopped caring about saving face, he decided to lie down in the grass entirely, arms and legs fanned, willing the cold wind to wick the sweat from his face. He laid down for an unknown amount of time, because minutes no longer meant anything, and time froze while the hole was not being dug.
Danny lay down too. Sometimes they both lay there, sweaty on the ground, saying nothing. Lancer glanced over once, and he thought he maybe saw Danny crying silently. But tears and sweat rolling down the side of a face looked similar. So Lancer went back to staring at the stars in silence.
The moon was high overhead. Lancer knew his body would despise him in the morning. Danny got up from the grass and grabbed his shovel, so Lancer did too, and digging time moved forward again.
There was, really, only one moment of digging time that mattered. And after an amount of time Lancer had no real words for, it was Danny who signified theyâd reached it.
The steady motion beside Lancer ceased. Lancer looked up as Danny stood motionless, shovel clutched in his raw hands, ice-blue eyes evaluating the earth in silent contemplation.
âI think thatâs deep enough,â Danny said. And to Lancer, this was the only hour-strike that mattered.
Danny swayed just a bit pulling himself back to full height. He grabbed the grave edge to steady himself, which was now appreciably above hip-height. Then he set his shovel down at that same edge, and used both arms to lift himself out of the earth.
Danny waited, patiently, while Lancer struggled more to do the same. Danny even offered one outstretched hand, which Lancer considered taking until he understood the myriad of open and leaking blisters that peppered Dannyâs palm, mixing with the green. Lancer hauled himself out the rest of the way, and wondered if there was a tasteful way to ask why Danny had been so careless with his blisters.
âThe head should face the forest, I think. Feet toward the golf course,â Danny said, and he was already on a steady march toward the car. âThe grave isnât even and itâs a little bigger on the forest side so the head will fit better there. Also I think you should let me carry it by the knees this time and you take the arms. Itâll be less awkward to carry it that way.â
âDanny wait, stop.â Lancer broke into a jog to out-pace Dannyâs forward march. He inserted himself in front of Danny with a palm out to halt him.
âWhat?â Danny asked. His eyes bounced up and down Lancerâs body, and then a hardened anger, buffed by exhaustion, flashed in his eyes. âDo NOT tell me youâre having second thoughts. We did NOT get this far with the grave just for you to tell me I canât bury that body.â
âI am, in fact, telling you that you canât bury that body.â And before the protest could leave Dannyâs mouth, Lancer added, âBecause Iâm going to do that for you.â
This caught Danny off guard. Lancer could see something trying to connect behind Dannyâs hazy eyes.
âWhy?â
âBecause I think youâve had to bury enough of these yourself already.â And after a moment of thinking, Lancer added. âBecause I want to.â
Lancer easily recognized the expression of a student too exhausted to understand an instruction given in class. âNo... you donât want to.â
âActually burying the bodyâno, I do not want to do that. What I want, Danny, is for you to not have to touch another dead clone of yourself. Iâm of the conviction that thatâs been hard for you.â
Some gear still wasnât turning in Dannyâs head. âI donât think this is⌠what is that word you usedâŚ? âAptâ?â
âNone of this is apt.â
âI guess not,â Danny answered. Then after a moment, he asked, âWhat does apt mean?â
âAppropriate. Befitting. This was a vocab word, Mr. Fenton.â
âI got a 57 on that test.â
âYou did.â And that was, in fact, the previous 57 in Dannyâs two-streak of 57âs on tests, which were both doing pretty terrible things to his class grade, and which Lancer felt a lot more understanding about right now. That was maybe a thing Lancer could do something about, but was also a thing which seemed so absolutely cosmically unimportant in the scheme of everything.
And because the silence was awkward, Lancer put the thought into words. âWould you perhaps want to retake that test?â
Dannyâs laugh was more of a wheeze, and perhaps more a noise of surprise than anything else. And it was surprise enough to crack the tension caging his tired body. ââWantâ⌠is, I would say, not an apt description of⌠me and that test.â
âOkay. I have an alternative idea.â Lancer doubled back to his water bottle sitting on the ground. They had drunk it to emptiness earlier, and it had sat empty, until Danny had managed to locksmith into the little building that once held front-reception. Danny had come back with several unopened water bottles, and when Lancer had scolded him for possibly leaving fingerprints, Danny had cagily insisted he hadnât touched anything⌠which did not seem exactly possible.
But it at least meant the bottle was refilled, and Lancer handed the half-full bottle to Danny to hold in his hands.
âI have 43 points of extra credit to offer you with this assignment,â Lancer continued. âYour assignment is to sit down here and think about vocabulary while I put something in that grave.â
Danny stared at the water bottle. âWhat is âthink about vocabularyâ?â
âWhatever you want it to be.â
âWhat if I donât actually think about vocabulary?â
âI wonât know.â
âCan I get partial credit?â
âNo.â
âCan Iââ
âThe assignment, actually, is sit there.â Lancer placed a hand on Dannyâs shoulder, slight pressure applied. âSit there. Let me bury the body. And then Iâll drive you wherever you need to go when this is all over.â
To Lancerâs slight surprise, Danny complied. He sunk under Lancerâs applied weight, butt to grass, knees to chest, arms wrapping knees and holding the water bottle between them. He did not quite look at Lancer, but he did not look at the grave either.
ââWhen this is all overâ⌠thatâs a nice thought,â Danny whispered. Then he leaned harder into his knees, cheek resting to his knee cap. âOkay. I can do that assignment.â
âŚ
Lancer did not spend much time at all looking at the corpse now. Heâd had his conversation with it already, made his silent promises earlier. He hoped it understood the clinical way he lifted it from the trunk this time, and marched huffing with its weight back to the grave. It needed to just be an object, right now. Because Danny was watching from where he sat in the grass, and Lancer needed to put on a show of a task no more horrible than taking a piece of broken furniture to the curb.
Lancer kept his promise to be gentle with the corpse when he kneeled beside the grave. He set the body down carefully, and then with hands free, Lancer lowered himself into the grave. He scooped his arms beneath shoulders, beneath knees, lifting it again, in a second phase to set the body in the grave.
He had, though, forgotten Dannyâs earlier instruction about placing the head to the forest-side of the grave, so Lancer had to pivot a 180 adjustment to lay the body down properly.
This was a bit of a screw up on Lancerâs part, because the 180-rotation meant he locked eyes with Danny in the grass, watching, as Lancer dipped the dead body out of view for the final time. It was hard to read the look in Dannyâs watching eyes, but Lancer felt a moment of conviction that he made the right call to keep Danny out of this.
Lancer pulled himself one leg at a time out of the grave. He stood tall for just a moment to pop his back thrice in quick succession, thankful that he hadnât yet thrown it out. He bent down to grab the shovel heâd left at the grave edge and readied himself for the silence of grave work to continue.
âDo you want to know the rest of it?â
Lancer paused, shovel-full of dirt half-tipped into the grave. He heard the whisper of dirt falling, filling the gaps around the silent body. He glanced over his shoulder to his student, still studiously watching, still sitting small in the grass.
âI do, think, Iâd like to understand more of whatâs going on,â Lancer answered with caution. His heart kicked up. He hadnât exactly expected, and wasnât exactly prepared, for Danny to give up information both unprompted and voluntarily.
âVlad Masters is half-ghost. Or heâs, what Iâm calling, a half-ghost. He has a human form and a ghost form he can change between at will. He uses his ghost form for all his crimes. He stole all his money. He didnât get rich normally.â
Lancer had the idle thought to send Danny some pieces of class-conscious literature that argued âstealing moneyâ was in fact the normal way that rich people got rich.
Lancer shivered more dirt down on the clone. He figured Danny would prefer less homework. âAnd thatâs what you meant by âliving ghostâ?â
âYeah. And my dad did it to him. Dad doesnât know he did itâor that Vladâs a half-ghost. As far as Dad knows the lab accident was just a lab accident. But Dad never apologized for it either, still thinks theyâre buddies even after not talking for 20 years. Dad has no idea Vlad wants to kill him for this.â
âCan you tell him?â
Silence answered Lancer for the next phase of his shovel jammed into dirt, raining it down onto the grave.
âDadâs as overshadow-able as anyone else. I donât think itâll help at this point.â
âYou mentioned that a few times already⌠Is Vlad possessing people?â
âSort of⌠Possession is like⌠ongoing. One ghost can only possess one person at a time. But a strong ghost can like⌠implant ideas. And that just takes one overshadowing once to like, implant the idea, and make the person act⌠wrong⌠about certain things.â
There was a strain building in Dannyâs throat, a tightness that seemed on the verge of cracking his voice. Lancer rested the shovel blade to the ground and looked over, and he could read the tension in Dannyâs hands gripping the water bottle.
âI feel like that 911 dispatcher was acting âwrongâ about everything we told her,â Lancer said.
âShe was. That is⌠exactly⌠what I mean.â Danny leaned forward, and his eyes came up to meet Lancerâs. âSomeone will act completely normal until they donât. Youâll think you can trust them until you canât. I donât have help from anyone because everyone isâVlad knows who to target. I want to find a cure, but I donât⌠Iâm just me⌠Iâm just trying to survive.â
Lancer shivered. He felt a weight in his stomach that threatened to drop him on the spot, a horror brand new in a night of unimaginable horrors.
He shoved shovel into dirt, and the gouged wound of the corpse vanished beneath another shiver of earth.
âWhy you?â Lancer asked.
âWhy is Vlad targeting me?â
âYes.â
Danny let out a laugh short and humorless. âBecause Iâm everything he wants. Iâm my motherâs son. Iâm the half-ghost Vlad can believe is his own half-ghost son. Iâm the family he desperately wants.â
Maybe it was the cold, and the exhaustion of too long spent digging, that made the shovel slip from Lancerâs icy fingers. He did not fumble and grab for it as it smacked dully into the earth, but he did stare at it for a long moment, remembering again the sensation of feeling like heâd missed a stair.
âHalf-ghost⌠because the clones Vlad is making are half-ghost? Heâs replacing you with a half-ghost?â
And for the first time, Danny let out a real laugh. It came from his core, and he pressed one hand to his cheek, letting the laugh rumble and fade out of him before staring at his palm.
âThe clones arenât half-ghost because Vlad randomly decided to make them that way. The clones are half-ghost because I am.â
Danny pushed his arms out. His hands were splayed, palms on open display. He wiggled his fingers. âDid you notice? Iâm bleeding green too.â
And this time Lancer only stared. The distance between them made the shapes vague, details blurry, lit only by flashlight and gawping moon. But Lancer could understand what Danny was showing him, because Lancer had noticed the popped blisters on Dannyâs palm when heâd offered Lancer a hand out of the grave.
Lancer had noticed the green, too. All the while, heâd chalked it up to the stains of the corpseâs blood. That, Lancer realized, made very little sense. The ecto-gore on his own hands had long since rubbed off with the friction of the shovel. Dannyâs had been bleeding all the while.
âYour hands are⌠need bandages,â Lancer said, stupidly and with terrible grammar. But it was because he was tired. And because most of his thoughts were being pulled against their will into parsing the rest of what Danny meant.
After a moment, Lancer asked,
âAre you a ghost?â
Danny offered a sheepish smile.
âA half-ghost. Have been for most of the time youâve known me.â Danny folded his hands over his knees again, smaller in his partial avoidance of eye contact. But then he looked at Lancer with a word clearly on his tongue, and Lancer stared back silent, patient, to let Danny speak. âYou ever heard of a guy called Danny Phantom? I think you have, but maybe thatâs my ego talking.â
That was a stupid questionâand maybe Lancer was glad that finally, for once in this conversation, Danny had been the one to ask the stupid question.
It was stupid because the news reports and the town chatter and the ghost-fights happening just outside Lancerâs window on the weekly were all, always, Danny Phantom. But it was particularly stupid because back in the fall, Lancer had slipped while trying to escape at the rear of his students (making sure they get out first, always make sure they get out first) and Lancer had, in that moment, viscerally understood the saying about not needing to be faster than a bear to outrun itâonly needing to be faster than the slowest person running from the bear.
That had been him, nose cracked and bleeding against the lemon-scented Casper High floors, raking in a shuddering breath where the fall had knocked the wind from him, feeling the clambering rush of heat as the thing in pursuit of them let loose an attack that would perhaps roast Lancerâs feet off before completing the mercy of killing him.
And then something had slammed behind him, and with it the heat had vanished. When Lancer had found enough of his composure to turn his head, heâd been met with the sight of a blazing green shield, held up with enough force to visibly strain the ghost boyâs shoulders.
âRun!â Danny Phantom had said, head snapping to Lancer, glowing eyes severe, sweat pouring down his pale jawline. âGet to safety!â
Lancer sat down beside his shovel.
He drew his knees up.
He rested his wrist atop his knees.
His whole body ached.
âOh,â Lancer said. He looked at Danny, pale and sweaty in the grass. And he heard Get to safety! in Danny Fentonâs voice.
Danny stared back with eyes that did not glow.
âSo is⌠that a yes?â Danny asked.
âYes! Yes,â Lancer clarified, cold wind catching his words. âI know who Danny Phantom is. He⌠saved my life.â
âThatâs pretty cool of him,â Danny answered.
Lancer stared at his own knees for a very long time. They were darkly soaked and smelled awfully of ozone. His sweat was now chilling him cold. He played the scene back in his mind a few times. It was still sharp, a frequent visitor of his nightmares.
âThat was you?â
âYeah,â Danny said. And then, after a long pause, he added, âDo you mean like, with the dragon?â
âI donât know what it was. âŚEnormous. Beast-like. It attacked with fire.â
âYeah that was Dorothy. Sheâs⌠nice, usually. The amulet is stillââ
âI thought I was gonna die that day.â Lancer looked up, hand clenched to his knee, feeling an emotion he had no idea how to express. âYou saved my life.â
Danny looked away, uncomfortable. âYeah donât⌠donât mention it. Dorothy would have felt bad if she killed you. Or maybe she was gonna⌠not actually kill you. Sometimes, you know, IâLL take a hit where Iâm like âOh thatâs gonna kill me,â but it doesnât. Or. Half-doesnât. OrâŚâ Danny was fumbling. âPortal. By the way. Um. You didnât ask but. My dadâsâmy momâs and dadâsâghost portal. I um. Inside thereâs a button, I guess. Or like a short-circuit, maybe. I went inside and I um⌠touched it. I think. I donât really remember. But then I--â Danny spread his arms wide, ââghost. Ever since. Same thing as⌠Vlad. But I donât steal billions.â
Lancer tried to form thoughts through the screaming in his head. He was recontextualizing over a year of class time with the single piece of information that made 100 oddities click into place.
âYou did⌠steal test results.â
âONCE!â Danny answered with more explosive energy than Lancer expected. âI gave them back! Come on man, I gave them back. That wasââ Danny flopped his head into his knees, ââa whole thing. Iâm failing tests like an honest man these days.â
Lancer thought on this a long while too.
âAnd Iâve been giving you those tests expecting you to work like a normal student. Oh my god.â Lancer pressed his fingers to his temple, squeezing. âI thought you were playing video games.â
âI donât⌠not like video games. I would like to play video games.â
âBut youâre not. Youâre out here burying your clones on a school night.â
âYeah,â Danny answered. And he hugged his knees tighter, rested his cheek on them, staring off to the side. âWell I wish I was playing video games.â
More of the picture clicked in Lancerâs mind. Dannyâs sleight of hand that popped the trunk. His getting of the shovels and the water bottles. The ecto-gore on Dannyâs clothes may have not entirely been the cloneâsâŚ
And if Danny Phantom was out here, now, that meant no one was on duty if a ghost attacked Amity Park.
And if Danny Phantom were eliminated by Vlad Mastersâ machinations, then what would that mean for the next ghost attack to hit the town?
Lancer stood up. The spiraling thoughts were seizing his muscles, taking up space from his lungs. These felt like questions too deep and too cruel to ask of a boy who just wished he were playing video games instead of dealing with a nightmare Lancer could only just begin to scratch the surface of.
Lancer understood Danny, suddenly, wholly and completely. Lancer didnât know yet what he could do about any of this.
(Lancer reclaimed his shovel from the ground. He sunk it into a waiting pile of dirt. He felt Dannyâs eyes on him as he transferred earth to spade and dropped it shivering down into the grave theyâd dug together.)
But he knew he could bury the corpse.
âŚ
Lancer resolved to not ask a single additional question of Danny before the corpse was buried. Heâd asked enough for one night. Danny had given more than enough answers for one night. So, as a thank you for saving his life if nothing else, Lancer withheld all his questions, and he piled dirt onto corpse while the night drifted past.
Was it possible to just kill Vlad Masters? That was IF no true route through legal authority could work. But in the extreme case, where Vlad Masters could willfully possess anyone who might crack consequences down on him, could they just kill him?
Heft. Dirt. Heft. Dirt.
Usually Lancer did not advocate murder. In fact even entertaining the idea felt like he had wild dogs chewing on the inside of his ribs. But this was purely a matter of practicality. Especially if a failure to act came at the cost of Dannyâs life.
Heft. Dirt. Heft. Dirt. Lancer glanced over his shoulder. Danny hadnât moved, still watching, in a way that reminded Lancer a bit of a bunny in the grass.
Dannyâs life was worth saving regardless, of course. That was in fact the most important thing. But it was more than that even. It was Dannyâs life and his fatherâs life and the life of everyone Danny Phantom would save in Amity Park. And this brought Lancer back to the notion that the work alone might kill DannyâVlad or no Vladâand Lancer felt a parent-teacher conference welling up in his chest. But not yet, if being âovershadowableâ meant Mr. and Mrs. Fenton were useless allies.
Heft. Dirt. Heft. Dirt. Lancer retrieved one of the unopened water bottles. The blisters on his hands made opening it into a journey.
Was Lancer himself overshadowable? Probably. Almost definitely. Almost certainly he had been before. The thought made Lancer itchy with the idea he was perhaps already some kind of walking sleeper-cell. But Danny had said it took a powerful ghost to implant intent. And, from how Danny had phrased it, Lancerâs protection had come in the form of âWhy the fuck would Vlad bother with Dannyâs English teacher?â
Which, almost definitely, put a giant target on Lancerâs back now.
Lancer really really did not like that.
He recapped his water bottle and picked the shovel back up. Heft. Dirt. Heft. Dirt.
Not that he liked anything he was doing or learning tonight.
Was Vlad himself dangerous, or were the clones? Or were they both dangerous? Danny wanted to hide the corpse to prevent Vlad from learning from his mistakes, which meant something was still wrong with the clones. What did an âunstableâ clone act like while alive? Were they always violent? Were they mind-controlled by Vlad? Partially mind-controlled? Were they like the overshadowed people, who seemed normal until something made them not?
And when the next one attacked, was there anything at all which Lancer could do? Or would he just supply some well-meaning hostage fodder?
Heft. Dirt. Heft. Dirt. This whole part was quicker. Gravity was a friend to refilling a grave. What must have been hours of digging was able to be undone in a few-dozen minutes of work.
Broad daylight. Surely a clone would not attack in broad daylight with witnesses. Vlad was the mayor, after all. He was a public figure. He cared about reputation. If he wanted Danny as a son, he needed to keep both himself and Danny out of a public scandal concerning a boy killing his doppelganger in the middle of a busy street.
Things got scary after the sun went down. Could Lancer help there? Could Lancer help by offering Danny a place that was not his own homeâtonight, or possibly every night?
âAre you⌠gonna keep doing that?â
Lancer snapped to attention, stunned out of his thoughts. He whipped around like someone had walked in on him. Only Danny, bunny-crouched in the grass, sat there.
âWhat?â Lancer asked.
Danny pointed. âGraveâs full.â
It was a weirdly casual thing to say. Lancer turned back around, and the grave was indeed full.
Well, more like the additional dirt Lancer piled on served to overrun the ground-line. Heâd managed to make the slightest anthill in the center of the grave where his piled-on dirt overflowed.
âIâm um⌠going to tamp it down,â Lancer said, which wasnât untrue, but was definitely an excuse after getting lost in his thoughts. He pressed the back of his shovel to the dirt, whisked it around the perimeter of the grave to obscure the fault-line theyâd dug. He got to work hefting the bodyâs worth of remaining dirt, spreading it around so that is drew no attention as a mound by itself.
Then suddenly, the grave was done.
Lancer stood over it, weary to the absolute core of his bones. Everything felt just a bit rotten, including the tinge of pride he took in the accomplishment, as he remembered the weight, sight, and form of the thing which they had buried beneath the unmarked soil.
Lancer was⌠tired. Physically, mentally, and every other possible way there was to be tired.
So he lay his shovel down. He turned on heel, and snagged two more water bottles from the ground, and walked with legs sore and teetering over to the grass. He approached the audience that had stuck with him the whole time.
Lancer sat himself down beside Danny with a groan. He offered one water bottle on an outstretched hand. Danny studied itâor maybe he was studying the open blisters on Lancerâs palmâand took the water.
âThanks,â Danny said.
âDonât mention it. You fetched the water after all.â And Lancer was deep in his thoughts wondering on the best way to put forward the ideaâto offer, maybe, that Danny come home with him tonight. That if a clone wanted to slit his neck in his sleep, then maybe, somehow, Lancer couldâ
âNo I mean thanks for burying the bodyâŚâ Danny elaborated, twisting open the water bottle cap with a single crackle of breaking plastic seal. âIâm⌠thank you.â
Lancer took pause. âOh. Youâre welcome. Iâm glad to help.â
âAnd thanks for⌠digging, too. You made it go a lot faster. My powers are being weird so I couldnât really do much.â
âYou definitely dug more than I did,â Lancer answered.
âAnd umâŚâ Danny picked at the broken plastic ring at the water bottle cap. âThanks for believing me when I said I needed help.â
This one caught Lancer off guard. He studied his pants and his shoes, wholly stained in dirt. He studied his student, worse-off in every way, mud-stained and blood-stained, intentionally avoiding eye contact once more.
âI hope Iâm someone you always believe you can turn to for help.â
And I said Iâd drive you where you need to go when this is over. Would you want to maybe come back to my apartment?
âWhat umââ Danny let out a little laugh. Some of the tension had left his shoulders; some of the worry had left his eyes, when he turned to Lancer now. âWhat were you even doing out here, by the way?â
âWhat do you mean?â Lancer asked.
âI meanââ Danny spread one hand out to motion to the parking lot. âThis whole area is like, the absolutely middle-of-nowhere far edge of Amity Park. Donât tell me you live out here.â
âDanny,â Lancer started, a crease of confusion on his brow as he studied the honesty on Dannyâs face, âI came out here because you asked me to come out here.â
Dannyâs mouth shut. He fell quiet. He matched the confusion on Lancerâs face. âNo I didnât.â
âToday. Right after detention. You grabbed my sleeve when I walked past you. You asked me to meet you out here.â Lancer looked back and forth between Dannyâs eyes, hoping to read something. ââŚYou were scared.â
âWhat? No, I didnât do that. That wasnât me.â The confusion on Dannyâs face morphed a fraction into unease. âWhy would I do that?â
âYou said you were afraid something bad would happen to you.â
Now only the wind filled their silence. Danny had stopped pulling at the plastic ring of his water bottle. He was staring at Lancer, face a mask of ashen exhaustion, and deep confusion.
âWhat something?â
âYou didnât say,â and now Lancer found himself questioning his own memory. But this had happened. He knew it with absolute certainty. âI figured it must have been Dash Baxter or his friends giving you a hard time.â
Danny, holding him by the cuff of Lancerâs sleeve, giving Lancer an address that was not a real address. It should have been someone elseâs problemâsomeone above Lancer, or a parental intervention maybe. But Danny was scared, and this was urgent, and Lancer believed him when he said that because when had Daniel Fenton ever turned to Lancer for help? Because that tear in the shoulder of Dannyâs shirt could have been from normal wear, sure, but something about it felt like an omen to Lancer. A shirt worn a 100 times, now torn, on the day Danny came to Lancer for help.
âDanny?â Lancer asked, quiet.
Danny had both his elbows on his knees, his hands in his hair, head planted forward. The tightness in his tendons cast stark shadows in the moonlight.
âI donât remember going to detention,â Danny said. And he pulled his head out of his hands, turned bodily to Lancer, glassy fear in his eyes. âI donât remember going to school. I donât remember today.â
Lancerâs eyes fell to Dannyâs shoulder.
The fabric was perfect.
Lancerâs heart beat to the march of a war drum. It was powerful enough to make him dizzy. He thought about the body in the trunk. He thought about it soaked in ecto-green. He thought about the massive hole in the center of its chest. He thought about all the other tears in its shirt.
âDanny,â Lancer started, and he swallowed compulsively, mouth aggressively dry. âHow did that clone die?â
Danny stared, his eyes pouring into Lancer, seeming to beg something which Lancer could not provide. Danny shook his head.
Without fully meaning to, Lancer inched away. His shadow scooted behind him, its fear stretching far under the interrogation of the flashlight hitched to the tree. He was aware suddenly of the vastness and the isolation of this golf course, of the high evergreens and the barren canopies that scratched their branches in the wind. It was a freezing December night, moon high, and no one was around for miles.
âHow did the clone die?â
Danny shook his head again. The pleading did not leave his eyes.
The wind picked up. Every muscle in Lancer seized. He felt colder than he had all night.
Was this like the ghost attack again? Was he the slowest person, again? The only person, left alone with the bear?
Maybe that had been someone else already, tonight. Buried now in a shallow grave.
âWho are you?â Lancer asked.
It was Danny now who scuttled backwards, distancing himself from Lancer. His chest rose and fell too fast. His eyes fell to his own green hands, hyperventilation seizing him whole-body. He looked back up to Lancer with eyes glowing green, and he stared into all the pure wet terror in Lancerâs eyes.
Danny pushed up from the ground, unsteady. He wobbled on his feet, looking around as if for escape, but it was only him and Lancer here, in the graveyard dipping colder in the wee hours of the morning.
Dannyâs breathing would not calm. Lancer could not do anything even if he wanted to. So they only stared, wide-eyes to wide-eyes, gray into glowing green. A hundred plans in the making all felt like sand slipping through Lancerâs fingers, because the core conceit of every plan was to save Danny Fentonâs life. And maybe heâd missed that chance already, by however many minutes late heâd been to the parking lot where he found Danny Fentonâs body.
Lancer did not know what to do anymore. He only knew he was small, and he was weak, and that if he needed rescueâlike Danny who had pleaded for it at the sunset of detentionâno one was coming to save him.
âPlease donât hurt me,â Lancer said, small.
And Danny kicked off into the air, rings grabbing his form and, in a rush of wind, the ghost who had been momentarily there was no more.
Silence settled. Wind whistled through the trees. Lancer was alone. Just him, and the shovels, and the gravesite of his worst student.
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Danny, snorts and playfully kicks Tucker's shin: No, hes not yours. Hes not mine either. One of mom's old friends- Talia, or Tina? Something like that- couldn't take care of him anymore-between you guys and me, I think she escaped from a cult- and she asked mom if she and dad could raise him.
Sam: So why do you have him?
Danny: Sam after the last four, almost five, years of knowing my parents, would you trust them with another infant?
Sam: Fair point.
Tucker: So what's his name?
Danny: This is Damian, isn't he the cutest? Look as those pretty green eyes.
Tucker: Ugh look at his cute little grumpy face. Let me hold him.
Danny: *hands Damian to Tucker*
Sam: The teachers are okay with you just having a baby with you? What about after school? I thought you finally decided on a university.
Danny: There's only a few more months of school, so the teachers are fine with it. Then after graduation, me and Damian will be moving to Central City, my part time job is connected to S.T.A.R labs and they have a daycare thats willing to watch Damian during my collage courses and work hours. I thought this through Sam.
Sam: If you're sure.
Danny: I am. Besides, Damian is a little angel.
Tucker: Okay stop hitting my glasses please. *holds Damian away from him so he'll stop grabbing his glasses* Sam, you want to hold him?
Sam: No thank you. I don't like children, especially babies.
Tucker: *shrugs before passing Damian back to Danny, where Damian immediately calms down*
Danny: Come on, let's go to class before the halls get too rowdy.
Valerie: *gasp* Danny, you finally gave birth to our kid?!
Wes: Excuse you, Val, but thats obviously mine and Danny's kid.
Danny, exasperated and laughing: Ancients! I did not give birth to anyone's kid! I lack the proper organs!