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bamboozled - jegulus and drarry - server microprompt challenge - word count: 338
Draco had been raised to be proper. To wow a crowd, to navigate social situations with all the grace and politeness of a proper gentleman. To handle things smoothly.
Which is why, now, he was internally screaming at himself.
Because heâd never felt so bloody bamboozled.
Because...weren't old people supposed to be ugly?
Pinching his own leg as he missed his mouth with his fork for the ninth time, he cursed under his breath, earning a confused look from Harry, who was sitting next to him, immersed in conversation with James and Regulus.
Miserably, Draco just shook his head slightly. No. He could get himself together.
It was justâŚ
He looked up again, trying to be subtle.Â
He now understood why people talked about it all the time. Harry Potter looked so like his father. Gods, they were both unfairly handsome. Their smiles were bright, their eyes warm and welcoming. And JamesâŚ
Well, age had been very kind to James Potter.
He was graying, sure. But the slight wrinkles and lighter hair only made him more handsome. More rugged. MoreâŚ
Draco gulped. Certainly, he should not be thinking this way about his potential father-in-law, and he wasnât, not really. He was very, very happy with what he had. But his very unhelpful brain reminded him: If Harry and James look so much alikeâŚHarry will look like this when he gets older. Harry will look exactly like this when he gets older.
He squirmed in his seat. Fuck.Â
â...going to grab the next course!â James Potter announced, throwing Draco a smile and sweeping into the kitchen.
âIâll help,â Harry offered, standing and squeezing Dracoâs knee.Â
But as soon as both men disappeared into the other room, Regulus turned to him with a look like an x-ray. Dracoâs stomach churned. Was he in trouble? Did Regulus know? Fuck, heâd heard things about Regulus Black from his mother and he didnât want to get on his bad side. Shit, shit, shâ
âJust wait until you see Fleamont Potter,â Regulus murmured, his face breaking into a smirk.
Draco gaped.Â
Still waiting for his kingâŚ
Here's a quick au idea that just came to me today:
In a modern au where Merlin is still waiting on Arthur, historians recently discovered a whole batch of legal documents from Arthur's reign. These documents detail many changes he made to the laws of Camelot, including the repeal of the magic ban (which the historians assumed was just a halt on witch hunts).
However, one thing that the historians note as strange were the large number of laws that only applied to the king's personal manservant, who was never mentioned by name in the documents. These laws range from oddly specific, such as 'the king's manservant shall not accompany knights to the tavern', to downright bizarre decrees that make no sense, like 'the king's manservant is hereby forbidden from pointing out stew in the king's hair.'
The historians' first guess was that perhaps King Arthur was going a bit mad in his later years, but they didn't find any other ludicrous laws besides the ones pertaining to his manservant, which then led the historians to question the identity of this manservant and his relationship to the king.
All of this culminates in a historical exhibit showcasing the documents and postulating on this mysterious manservant of king Arthur. Many scholars flock to the exhibit, eager to examine the documents and debate their meaning and impact within a historical context.
Which then leads to a very tired Dr. Merlin Emrys, a medieval history professor, being dragged by his colleagues to see the exhibit and having to stifle is laughter as these world-renowned scholars tear their hair out trying to understand what was essentially a prank war between him and Arthur.

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Arthur: So you have magic?
Merlin: Uh⌠yeah?
Arthur: for how long?
Merlin: Since birth.
Arthur: And youâre a dragon lord?
Merlin: Yeah my father was and it gets passed down.
Arthur: Sounds like royalty.
Merlin: No? I donât think so.
Arthur: Yes it is, that means youâre a noble, a lord. We can get married now!
Merlin: WHAT???
Merlin did say it wasnât the right weather for a walk. Guess he was right
I think that If merlin ever got the chance to freely explore his magical abilities, it wouldnât take long before he started hurling random spells at people just to see what happens
Arthur would just have to follow him everywhere and trying to minimise the damage
bbc merlin you will ALWAYS be famous
"they're not gay" I don't know man, I read a masterfully written fanfic on A03 that says otherwise.

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girl get off that c.ai and embrace the 'x reader'
But.... But my delulus...
MC: Caleb, I made a huge mistake.
Caleb: I'll get the shovel, you warm up the car. It's okay.
MC: What..?
Caleb: It's okay, honey. No one will ever find out.
Rafayel: MC, this is the hardest thing that I have ever said to you.. I..
MC: Yes..?
Rafayel: I ate your secret stash of Halloween candy and I am so sorâ
MC: Iâm gonna have to stop you right there. I appreciate the fact that you are a very dramatic man, but the next time you start a conversation with "This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to say to you,â It better end with, âI am gay now,â âI found a lump in my nut,â Or, âHe came out of nowhere, quick, help me get the blood off of my car.â
Rafayel:
caleb shaves designs into your bush!
summary: caleb is devastated at the news that he will be losing your bush, so to help him cope with the loss, you let him shave designs into it.
content: suggestive, shaving, calebs dramatic and corny assâŚâŚ
wc: 1,055
a/n: this is extremely unserious and most likely ooc but I DONâT CARE! i write what makes me happy and this made me happy so. thatâs all that counts !! also i donât believe you need to shave to wear a bikini- infact lets normalize the bush!! thatâs just the easiest explanation i could think of to have reader shave :p
that's caleb's emotional support bush !!
âsmile for the camera, baby!â â
as if you could.
caleb is all too cocky about your inability to do anything but lay beneath him all slack-jawed and shaky as he drills his cock into you despite your overstimulation.
youâre so fucked out that you canât even muster up the energy or mindpower to regret gifting your boyfriend and polaroid camera for his birthday. you had brought it with romance in mindâheâs away so often for such long periods at a time that you thought a few sweet photos he can carry in the lining of his uniform jacket would be a nice idea.
but caleb, the amalgamation of all things desperate and horny, couldnât wait five minutes after unwrapping his gift to start unwrapping you as well. each layer of clothing discarded heâd reward with a photo of your revealed skin until he was trying to finesse a way to hold the camera with one hand as the other pumped his fingers mercilessly into your cunt.
now, hours later, youâre laying on a bed of polaroids, each more lewd than the last. one digs into your skin while another is jostled off the bed with the hard thrusts of your boyfriends leaky cock into your (regrettably) still-needy pussy. the effect this man has on you is unreasonableâyouâve cum so many times that you canât form a coherent thought and still you think youâd cry if he pulled out and denied you the stretch of his cock.
flash. another shot is taken, this one of your glossy eyes and drool-soaked lips.
âyouâre so messy,â he teases like his dick isnât shining with the sweet mixture of your releasesâlike heâs not spat on your cunt just to rub load after load of cum around your clit in sick circles that make you choke on your breath. what an asshole he is.
âgonna make you cum again, pips,â he grins, dark hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. âi want to see if i can catch you squirting in a pic, hm?â
you part your kiss-swollen lips to protest. âcantââ is all you can manage though, before your boyfriend, your best friend, is squeezing your cheeks between his long fingers and frowning down at you.
âdonât doubt yourself, pretty, you can do anything if you set your mind to it!â
pep talk of the century. youâd laugh at him if you had half your mind left, but all you have the space to think about is how heâs never gotten quite this deep inside of you before. you donât even process the way heâs driven your hips up with his thighs to feel even more of you around him.
so perfect, he calls you. and even though heâs fucking you erratically, once he feels the telltale signs of your impending orgasm, heâs all smiles. sweet glossy eyes brimming with needy tears, flushed cheeks, soft brows⌠the man with his cock so deep inside of you that youâre seeing stars, leans down to press a kiss to your forehead as you orgasm.
itâs too much. you choke on it, you feel it in every bone in your body and still you crave more of him. you squirt around his cock with a moan made for porn and caleb feels like a hormonal virgin all over again.
click. another pic; one that prints to be fanned out immediatelyâone hand flapping the print through the air as the other one rubs slow circles on your tummy as he tries to feel himself pushing inside of you.
once it finally develops enough to gift caleb with the sight of your spread legs and the mess of lust between them, you swear he grows even harder inside of you.
âyeah,â your idiot of a man grins. âthis oneâs going on my wall.â
this is a repost from my deactivated acc of the same user. i wrote this i wrote this i wrote this
Hot damn

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MDNI~voyeurism, exhibitionism, mutual masturbation, praise, dirty talk, audio play (comms through a radio alarm clock)
a/n: Caleb rappel into this coochie rn pls
How the LaDS men react to you leaving a note in their lunch
pairings: Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus, Caleb x F!Reader(separate)
content: corny puns(iâm sorry), tiny bit suggestive, mostly fluff, mentions of meals being skipped in calebâs
a/n: calebâs and sylusâs a teensy bit longer bc i got carried away at end oopsies
Xavier
You and Xavier usually ate lunch together, be it after a mission or after training. Perks of being partners at work.
Today, however, was different.
Xavier had to join the analytics department for a debrief after a special solo mission.
He originally planned on flaking and leaving with you as soon as you had wrapped up your work.
But once you had persuaded him a bit with promises of spending the whole day together tomorrow and a long cuddle session tonight, he caved.
You patted his head as he was pouting at you and pressed a small box to his chest, before turning around and waving goodbye.
He barely registered the tupperware he was holding, as he longingly stared at your retrieving back.
Once you were out of sight, he looked at what exactly you had given him.
Taking in the silver box, he smiled to himself.
The corners of his lips turned upwards and he went to sit down on the nearest chair.
You expected him to eat it during a short break during the meeting, but he couldnât wait that long, knowing you prepared something for him.
He was contemplating taking out his phone and telling you to come back and join him right now, eat the food you had made for him, together.
He stopped that train of thought, thinking to himself that he didnât want to drag you back here.
With a slight shake of his head and sigh escaping his lips, he went to open the box.
The first thing he noticed was the amazing smell of whatever you had packed him, the second wasnât the food but a little yellow note stuck to the roof of the lid.
âHang in there, Xavie.
Iâll make it worth your while tonight ;)â
The tips of his ears turned red, he stared at the note before breathing out a chuckle.
You really knew how to motivate him, didnât you?
Before he could linger on the note for too long, he heard a chipper voice behind him.
âOh, hey Xavier! Mind if we join you?â
He saw Tara and Simone put their bags on the table he was sitting at.
He gave them a small nod of acknowledgement, immediately tuning them back out again after.
He hid the note in his pocket, thinking about how to repay you later.
Zayne
Zayne was used to you preparing his lunch for him, he considered you bringing him his lunch during his breaks as part of his work routine.
He loved getting to see you amid his packed schedule, finding a way to sneak in some extra time for you two to spend together.
Unfortunately, today you couldnât drop by and bring it to him in person, since you had to go on a mission outside of town.
Instead, you had handed him his lunchbox this morning, kissing him on the cheek before heading out.
He usually looked forward to his break because he knew heâd be able to see you.
Today, that perk fell away, so once his break time rolled around, he kept on working on some reports.
Until he heard the notification sound he put specifically for you,
âDonât forget to eat, Dr. Zayne!â
âI miss uuuu, canât wait to see u laterâ
A small smile graced his lips, an expression you easily brought out of him.
âTake care of yourself. Iâll be alright, as long as youâll return in one piece later.â
Once he saw you were offline again, he put his phone away, finally taking out the lunchbox you had prepared for him this morning.
He placed it on his desk, taking the lid off.
He immediately noticed the small sticky note you had left.
âIâm ânutsâ about you ;D enjoy your break, my love.â
Zayne silently quirked a brow as he read the message you wrote for him.
He shook his head as a quiet laugh escaped him.
His face went back to its usual deadpan expression.
If anyone were to walk in, heâd appear the same as he usually did. Youâre the only one who wouldâve been able to make out his hidden amusement.
Before he went to eating, he quickly pressed the sticky note to the frame of the picture he had of you two on his desk.
He was looking forward to welcoming you home tonight.
Rafayel
Rafayel had been whining all morning.
He was being forced to meet up with some art brokers outside of Linkon.
He had come up with 10 different excuses and 7 different plans on how to get out of this, yet all of his attempts were shut down. By you.
Talk about betrayal.
You had spent the entire morning talking him into going, saying how it would benefit him and how he should just make Thomasâs job easier for once.
Why couldnât you understand that he just wanted to spend as much time with you as he could!!!
The next best idea in his mind was coaxing you into coming along.
Too bad for him, you already had plans for the day.
âJust get going already, you big baby.â
You had said to him.
âThe sooner you get there, the sooner you can come back. Probably.â
You paid no mind to his heart clenching pout(self proclaimed) and just pinched his cheeks.
Before he could attempt anything else, like tripping over a brush and pretending to have broken his back, or blowing up his car(who knew what lengths he was willing go to, just to get out of work? You certainly didnât want to find out.) you pressed a chaste but sweet kiss to his lips.
âHave a good day, Rafayel. And be nice to Thomas!â
And before he knew it, you were out of the door.
A groan left his lips, as he rolled his eyes in annoyance.
He was willing to go along with anything you had planned today, he just wanted to be with you a bit more.
Finally, wrapping up his sulking once he realised you werenât coming back and he really did have to get going.
He grabbed his bag and left out the door you had disappeared out of, minutes before.
Fast forward a few hours later, heâd been sitting in some stuffy office, barely paying attention to what Thomas and the man sitting across from him were saying.
âAlright, letâs take five.â
At that, Rafayel perked up.
Immediately getting out of his chair and walking towards the door.
âAlways nice doing business.â
Thomas gave him a pointed look,
âRafayel, we arenât done here yet. You better not take too long.â
The purple haired man hummed without looking back and left the building as quickly as he could.
While he knew Thomas was probably gonna think he left, as soon as he couldnât find him inside, he didnât care.
He got in his car and rested his head against the steering wheel.
He stretched and went to reach into his bag to grab his phone to text you, when he suddenly saw something he hadnât noticed before.
There was a silver box sitting in his bag.
You sweet, cunning little thing.
He immediately pulled the lunchbox out, a look of intrigue in his eyes.
Of course, you wouldnât just cruelly send him into hours of boring work, without rewarding him!
He took the lid off, being met with another sweet, sweet surprise.
Your handwriting immediately caught his attention.
âYouâre doing amazing, baby!â
A chibi you doing a thumbs up next to the message,
and on the bottom you drew two stick figures holding hands, surrounded by hearts.
He chuckled quietly and if anyone told you about the lovesick look on his face as he stared at the tiny note, he wouldâve sworn they were lying.
He reached back into his bag to grab his phone, snapping a picture of the note,
âseems like ur down bad for me lolâ
You didnât have to know about the goofy grin on his face as he ate whatever you had prepared.
Sylus
Whenever he could, Sylus would make sure you and him shared at least one meal together.
He knew, that due to your conflicting schedules, that wasnât always possible.
By the time youâd wake up, Sylusâs day was slowly drawing to a close,
by the time youâd have lunch, Sylus would be fast asleep,
and by the time heâd wake up, you were finishing up the last of your work.
Yet heâd make an effort regardless.
Whether it be having breakfast, while you were eating your last meal of the day or keeping you company while he brought you breakfast, simultaneously getting ready to wind down after a night of work.
Obviously, that didnât always work.
Sometimes you two would barely be able to see each other, missing one another due to your complicated relay race of a sleep schedule.
Today was one of those days.
Yesterday was your day off, but you had to get up early today to get to the Hunters Association on time, so you decided to catch up on some sleep and hit the hay early last night.
As Sylus had to get ready to leave, you had finished up your dinner.
Just as you got into the bedroom to call it a day, Sylus was heading out to tie up some loose ends.
With murmured declarations of love, you bid each other farewell. A quick kiss on the cheek, a soft peck on the lips and out the door he was and you were settling into bed.
Morning came rolling around, Sylus was taking longer than usual.
Before you knew it, you had to head out of the door, taking one of Sylusâs many cars to drive back to Linkon City,
not before sending him a quick text, though;
âIâll get going now. Rest well, Sy!â
By the time he had gotten back to the base, you had long been gone.
He rubbed his eyes as he read your text.
Feeling groggy, he decided to skip his last meal and texted you back a good night message.
Once he had woken back up, he was half expecting you to be back, laying next to him but to his disappointment, you were no where in sight.
He headed to the kitchen as he checked the time.
5 pm. Surely youâd be coming back soon.
Sylus found Luke and Kieran lounging around the fridge and he quirked an eyebrow at them,
âYou two usually donât show your faces here, unless itâs time to eat.â
The twins looked at him, Luke scratching his neck and Kieran going back to looking around the kitchen,
âWell, bossâŚâ
âYour bad luck struck again.â
âVery unfortunate, indeed.â
âMhm, mhm!â
Sylus looked at them unimpressed, waiting for them to elaborate.
Luke and Kieran looked each other, silently trying to get the other to break the news to him.
âYou see,â
âYou mightâve just missedâŚâ
âMiss hunter, boss-man.â
âMhm, you totally missed her, boss.â
âShe just left actually.â
Sylus could feel a headache forming, squinting his eyes at his henchmen.
âShe was here? Why would she leave so soon, then?â
The twins shrugged in unison. Mumbling something about how unpredictable hunters were.
âShe actually got here a few hours ago,â
âSaid she didnât wanna wake you.â
âSomething about you needing the sleep.â
He heard one of them snicker, he couldnât care enough to glare at the one who did.
Sylus ran a hand through his hair and a pointed look was enough to send the twins scurrying off.
He made a mental note to subtly complain to you about this later.
His mood souring after finding out he just missed you by a hair, he decided to have someone bring his breakfast up to his office, as he turned on his heel.
He spent the day in his office, working through a pile of reports and modifying Mephisto.
He sent you a few texts in between but gathered that you were busy, considering the lack of responses.
He was starting to think he shouldnât have worked on Mephisto today, curious to see what you were up to, that was so much more important than answering his texts.
At around midnight, a knock resounded on his door.
âCome in.â
His hopes that it might just be you crushed, as he saw one of the twins walk in.
âYo, boss-man, we were told to make sure you take a break. Instructions from the boss of all bosses.â
He placed a lunchbox on Sylusâs desk and disappeared as quickly as he had shown up.
Mephisto started cawing, reminiscing a laugh.
Sylus shut him up with a flicker of his gaze.
He reached for the black box and opened it.
His lips curled upwards into a half smirk as his eyes landed on the post-it note.
âThe anticipation of seeing you later is driving me crazy.
Now, eat up!â
He could read you like an open book, even when you werenât with him, yet having you be so open about your feelings made something inside of his chest bloom.
Even when you were busy, you still made sure to leave your mark on his day one way or another.
The soft look in his eyes was only ever reserved for you and he couldnât wait to show it to you.
Donât think heâll forget about how you didnât answer his texts, though.
Caleb
Growing up, Caleb always packed your school lunch.
He would cook for you whenever you were home.
And even when he wasnât home, heâd make sure you were fed one way or another.
That habit never stopped as you two got older.
He loved cooking for you, itâs the reason he learned how to make all of your favourite dishes.
You always wanted to return the favour but a good moment never presented itself.
From starting college and becoming a pilot to becoming the Colonel of the Farspace Fleet, his discipline only increased and so did his love for you.
Just when on earth could you find the time to make food for a man who got up at the ass crack of dawn to work out and make you a nutritious breakfast.
Well, once you found out that this same disciplined man skipped his own meals in favour of getting his work done, you decided to step your game up.
You had it all planned out, youâd take a few days off without telling him, meal prepping for him and getting to his apartment in Skyhaven without telling him.
As you arrived at his place and unlocked the door, stepping inside, your phone vibrated.
âWhatcha up to, pips? ;)â
You squinted around the room trying to see if he had any cameras inside.
Arriving at the conclusion that he probably(hopefully) just got a notification from his door being unlocked, you texted him back.
âGot the day off, gonna wait here until you come back.â
You felt your phone vibrate a few more times after you tucked it back into your pocket, you made your way to his fridge.
Wishing he could see your face of absolute disbelief at the sight of his pathetic fridge.
Empty. Entirely empty, aside from a few apples.
Who lives like this?
Does this man live off of apples?!
You placed all the tupperware you had prepared ingredients in, in his fridge.
Some rice, boiled veggies and proteins.
Youâd have to give him a good talking to about this later.
A weird feeling settled in your chest, realising he only really takes good care of himself when youâre around, which is also just a by-product of him taking care of you.
With a sigh you closed his fridge, one more lunchbox remaining at the bottom of your bag.
Still ignoring the messages he had sent you, you left his apartment again.
Caleb was lounging in his office, he still had some time before he had to attend another meeting with the other Colonels and their subordinates.
He was wondering why you werenât answering him, he was about to check the cameras around his apartment, when a knock resounded in his office.
He put his phone away, knowing he was about to get busy again.
-
His authoritative steps echoing through the emptying hallway.
The nurses and soldiers hurrying off after seeing his annoyed expression.
He paid them no mind, as he unlocked the door to his office.
As soon as he stepped inside, he took his hat off, running a hand through his hair.
Caleb couldnât care less what the other people working there thought of him.
He gets his work done and he gets it done well.
Nothing else mattered, yet he couldnât help but feel annoyed at these stuck up old men who dared to doubt his capabilities, be it out of sheer jealous or fear.
They got another thing coming, if they think they could mess with him.
He doesnât take lightly to his duties, and he doesnât take lightly to protecting you.
You. Thatâs who all this was about.
He would put up with about anything, as long as it meant youâd be safe.
Because you were everything to him, his sweet pipsq-
He lost his train of thought as he spotted the silly lunchbox sitting on his desk.
A pattern of red and green apples on it, decorated with stickers that had started to wear off.
Itâs your old lunchbox.
He looked around his office, a grin finding its way onto his lips.
Youâve always been a sly one.
He sat down in his chair, inspecting the childish box.
As he took a look inside he was hit by the smell of braised chicken wings.
But he immediately lost interest in the food as soon as he saw the note you had snuck inside of the box.
âLearned from the best.
Eat well and rest well, Caleb.
Or youâll have to face my fury >:(â
He chuckled to himself, you managed to get into his office undetected, just to drop off some lunch for him?
Caleb loved taking care of you.
Itâs what he lived for, but he couldnât lie.
He liked the feeling of you looking out for him as well.
You always manage to make all his doubts and worries disappear.
Heâll have to get creative with thanking you later.