All My Best Friends Are Fictional

i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

I feel like zombie settings could do more to make slow zombies scarier in quiet, creeping ways. Zombies facing away from people. Walking backwards. Only moving if they're not seen. Holding a survivor but not hurting them. Motionless but their eyes follow you. Soundless horde.

One of my favorite things about having a degree in biochemistry is going undercover at a store like Sephora. I can read the composition of the cosmetics and actually understand them. There’s no words to describe how great it feels. It’s like being in on an inside joke or secret

As someone in pharmaceutical sciences I also experience similar things, so a hint from me: collagen is useless. In a cream it will not penetrate the skin, so doesn't do anything. As a food supplement, lemme tell you a secret: collagen is a protein. And when you eat protein, your stomach thinks its food and chops it up, so it can be used to make your own protein. Collagen is just expensive protein powder, and doesn't do anything meat or a veggie substitute does.

I scrolled past this without second thought. Paused. Thought, wait, I've never seen a crane on the road. Scrolled back up. No answers. Typed this response, then noticed the book's author. What a whirlwind

it really is crazy how there are so many influencers with millions of followers i have never heard of in my life

every day someone is like ‘have you heard about the situation with johnny youtube?’ and i go. pardon. who the hell is that

how come nobody raps about the master emerald anymore

"I have a problem with my trans son. Not because he's trans, but because he inhaled all our food like fucking Kirby."