my junk life

Imagine that your partner has been hitting you. Yelling at you. You’ve been married for a few years, you’re both in your 30s, you have a little daughter, and everything you do seems to be wrong. You’ve been made fun of, mocked and belittled by your partner. 

But you need them, because you can’t take another failed relationship. You can’t be alone again, and they’ve got you convinced that all the beatings and scratches and scrapes are your fault.

You tell your friends and they laugh. No matter how many bruises or cuts you show them, it’s still your fault, so you hide them. You feel trapped, but you don’t feel like you can escape. You’re convinced that you’re just locking yourself in.

And you see online one day an article. Someone else went through what you have. They got the cuts, the bruises, the scratches. You see that here is hope and freedom from these beatings. The physical and emotional pain can go away, there is someone there to help!

So you write down a list of 10 abuse victim hotlines, for people being abused. And you call them one by one.

If you were a man:

6 of those hotlines would refuse to help because of your gender.

3 of those hotlines would refer you to or give you a number to a hotline dealing with people that abuse and are looking to stop.

1 of those hotlines would help.

Out of those 10, 2 of those would also laugh at you or say you deserved it.

If you were a woman:

10 of those hotlines would help.

Abuse is very scary, but what seems scarier to you; being abused, reaching out and getting the help you need, or being abused, reaching out and getting laughed and turned away over 60% of the time because of who you are?

Only 8% of men who call abuse hotlines find them ‘very helpful’ and get the assistance they need.

…

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1: What’s something you think about a lot?

2: What do you think about at night?

3: Describe yourself as if you were a character in a novel

4: Name one place you want to go and why

5: Name one place you would never want to go to

6: What was a weird thing you did as a child?

7: Describe a memorable dream you’ve had.

8: What’s something that would make you really happy?

9: Describe your best friend without mentioning body features or personality traits

10: What’s an interesting/unusual thing about the country you live in?

11: What’s the closest thing to real magic to you?

12: If you could listen in on anyone’s mind for a day, who would you listen to?

13: If you could know the absolute truth to one question, what would you ask?

14: What was the most ridiculous lie you believe for a long time?

15: What’s the most useless talent you have?

16: Who do you go out of your way to be nice to?

17: What are you currently worried about?

18: What are you currently excited for?

19: What is something that you’ve never told anyone simply because you never thought to?

20: What makes you feel out of place?

21: Where do you feel most like yourself?

22: How would you describe your aesthetic?

23: Do you love hugs or dislike them?

24: If you could learn any 3 skills what would they be?

25: What word do you always misspell?

26: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever spent money on?

27: What is something you could talk at length about?

28: What do you wish you could change?

29: Do you like to photograph random things that make you feel something?

30: What would you do if there would be no consequence?

31: If your life was a book, what would it be called?

32: What was the biggest realization you had about yourself?

33: What is a question you’ve always wanted to be asked?

34: What’s something from your past that’s influenced who you are today?

35: Show a favourite photo on your camera roll.

36: Do you sing when you’re alone? What do you sing?

37: What trait do you have that makes no sense with your personality?

38: What‘s something you love about people?

39: Describe yourself in 5 emojis

40: What is love to you?

41: Something you’re obsessed with?

42: What are some things you associate with yourself?

43: What is a flaw to most people that you actually love?

44: Name a word in the English language that is really weird to you.

45: Describe a time where you were pleasantly surprised.

46: Where do you go to be alone?

47: What’s one thing that always catches you off guard when you hear it?

48: Do you fall asleep quickly or slowly?

49: Does the future scare you?

Artwork Copyright © Tyler Spangler