Welcome to the Inside of My Head

That poor seal was just chilling there you stupid cat!

I can’t even escape math on tumblr

i’m worms

no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible

“You dropped your dick man”

True solidarity

Look you just gotta help another man out in case his dick falls off

It’s considered normal to talk to your pets but if you talk to birds in public all of a sudden you’re some crazy person

Lmfaooooooooooooooooo I shouldn’t be laughing but bruhhhhh

LMFAO 😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭

This is by far and away the most accurate representation of my life lmfaoaoaoaooooo

sounds like that guy from spongebob who screams out “my leg”

Everyday is like. Endure Emotions and Complete Tasks. Can I die

can this year just chill for two goddamn seconds