guy from 6000 bc after having all human knowledge of the history of civilization and culture beamed into his brain: can you show me that "meta knight" fellow again? i find him quite bad ass...
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guy from 6000 bc after having all human knowledge of the history of civilization and culture beamed into his brain: can you show me that "meta knight" fellow again? i find him quite bad ass...

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also personally if i was adrian. yeesh. imagine your husband leaves for a half a century on this noble quest and might be dead. turns out he's not! genuinely the best day of your life! but when he returns it's with a weird alien he's now really reliant on and feels codependent and PSTD feelings about and has probably had sex with. and the creature doesn't even have the fucking self-respect to have a decent exoskeleton and leaks all the time and needs its own specialised environment all this nonsense. your husband very probably had sex with something that lacks an EXOSKELETON how fucking cringe. anyway you complain to your friends so much that they're like "divorce himmm" and they send you links to space lawyers and you're like 14 seconds away from divorcing him even though you kind of feel bad due to the ongoing PTSD because you're really tired of the creature rubbing its anal gland all over your new carpets when your husband's like "by the way it only lives for eighty years and it's already forty". ohhhh eighty years? it's already halfway through? lmao? okay yeah we're fine actually. keep your weird creature it'll be dead next Thursday. that's cool. i'll sit over here. it's cool i'll wait :) no rush :)
this is probably the only sex gif i will every reblog, because for some reason i feel like it’s more than just sex. i don’t know if it’s how they’re actually looking at one another or the way they can’t get close enough. he’s actually looking at her like a person and not just a sex object.
but then again, it could be all in my head. i mean, this is how i would want it to be. but that’s just me.
I would like to note that I left flowers for her afterwards, just as a “sorry for using your grave for content”

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english major macklemore: i read your granddad’s prose
therapist macklemore: i hear your granddad’s woes
coffee enthusiast macklemore: i drink your granddad’s joes
body mod shop owner macklemore: i pierce your granddad’s nose
pizza chef macklemore: i knead your granddad’s doughs
television network executive macklemore: i make your granddad’s shows
wildlife rehabilitator macklemore: i feed your granddad’s crows
blanket maker macklemore: i knit your granddad’s throws
sir mackle the more, knight of the great kingdom of seattle: i slay your granddad’s foes
rapper macklemore: i spit your granddad’s flows
NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE REBLOGGED THIS WITH AN ADDITION INCLUDING “TOES”: 7
nothing is more tumblr than having a tumblr sexyman wiki and then warn you to not find some of those men sexy because it's problematic
A great place to donate to First Nations groups impacted by the ongoing wildfires 👇
True North Aid provides practical humanitarian support to northern and remote Indigenous communities in Canada through community-led project
Also consider Mikinakoos' as they're extending support beyond their traditional service areas due to the scale of this emergency!
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The summer between the end of high school and the start of college, I wrote a ridiculous play about pirates and put on a staged reading with some friends at an amphitheatre at a local park before a small audience of friends and family. It was never published or staged again. But I just got a message from an old high school friend I haven’t seen in years. He accidentally quoted the play in a conversation with friends, was asked what he was quoting, he couldn’t remember either, and wracked his brain until he finally remembered it was that silly play reading that we did one day in the park over 10 years ago. It made me happy. (The line was, “Huzzah for mercantilism!” by the way.)
A very tiny percentage of creators go on to be famous, but that doesn’t mean that people don’t remember little things you did for years and years. Who came up with most of the world’s most famous jump rope rhymes? Who coined some of the famous idioms we use in daily speech? Who made up ‘Jingle Bells, Batman Smells?” Somehow, all of these things stuck and spread around.
When I was a small child, I saw a high school put on a production of the musical HONK. In one song, the mother duck describes various dangers that her baby should avoid in the water, including fishing line, which could strangle him. A member of the ensemble played the role of fishing line, doing a maniacal laugh and over-the-top strangling motions, and I found it hilarious– and to this day, that’s an example I often think of when talking about how ensemble members can still stand out in theatre. The guy who played the role might not even remember that he did that, but I do.
I took Suzuki violin lessons as a kid. The teacher made up lyrics to some of the songs, and she let her students make some up, too. Now whenever I hear the instrumental of one of those pieces, I always remember these ridiculous lyrics about a skunk that we sang in violin class. I don’t even know which student invented them!
In middle school, I found a video about atoms parodying Bill Nye made by some kids for a school product. It probably had less than 1,000 views, but I think of quotes from that video all the time. They had a parody of “We Will Rock You” with the chorus, “Protons, neutrons, electrons” that I think about a lot.
I just love that this is part of human life. Our memories don’t just pick up quotes from great art, literature, and music, but little things, too.
i think the world would be a happier place if we were all permanently stoned
the lottery by shirley jackson
hold on i have to read something real quick
dude

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SOUTHERN COMFORT (2001) dir. Kate Davis The final year in the life of Robert Eads, a transgender man from the back hills of Georgia. “A hillbilly and proud of it,” he cuts a striking figure: sharp-tongued, bearded, tobacco pipe in hand. Though his home is nestled among tranquil hills dotted with hay bales, Robert confronts a world hostile to him. He was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, then turned away by more than two dozen doctors who feared that taking on a trans patient might harm their practice. Beginning in spring, he falls deeply in love with Lola, a trans woman. That summer, his mother and father drive ten hours to visit their “lost daughter,” a trip they know may be their last. His final dream is to make it to the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, the nation’s preeminent transgender gathering. Beating the odds, he addresses a crowd of 500 and takes Lola to “The prom that never was”. (link in title)
Have you ever had jury duty?
* yes, I’ve had it and been sequestered
* yes I’ve had it but I haven’t been sequestered
* I’ve been called for it but I was never assigned to a trial
* I’ve never been called for jury duty (even though I’m eligible)
* not eligible for jury duty/my country doesn’t have jury duty
* it’s complicated
* see results
Have you ever had jury duty?
yes, I’ve had it and been sequestered
yes I’ve had it but I haven’t been sequestered
I’ve been called for it but I was never assigned to a trial
I’ve never been called for jury duty (even though I’m eligible)
not eligible for jury duty/my country doesn’t have jury duty
it’s complicated
see results

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You thought this was a rabbit? They thought this was a rabbit. That's fucking funny bitch, this is fucking Winnie the fucking Pooh. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck 4th of July
You know that whatever character did those problematic things isn't like. Real, right?
You are aware that a fictional character is just a rhetorical construct designed to fulfill a narrative/thematic purpose right? That their actions are written by an author who wants to use them to explore complex ideas and moral gray areas within the safe confines of fiction right? That they aren't a real person who has killed real people right?