Not all who are lost wander

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

A couple weeks ago I was practicing my owl calls on a night hike and I successfully called in a barred owl. My owl call is pretty good, but I've never called an owl to me from afar because I rarely do night hikes and so I don't get much chance to. I had expected to be really excited about this, especially since two of my coworkers are really skilled at owl calls and they don't usually get a response, much less a full conversation, but instead I felt so guilty. I eventually had to start ignoring this poor deceived owl that was following my call through the park. I felt like I catfished him.

The Gaslighting Magician: This is your card

I should quit my job to pursue a life of meaningless violence

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY🎆🎇

I need a blowjob but I don’t have a penis or a strap on and I’m not taking off my pants so you’re just gonna have to figure it out