something needs to change here

this is urgent

I don’t know how to do it

death is the ultimate metaphor for drastic change. it’s a general specific. whatever your problems are, it is very likely that dead people don’t have to deal with them. a real solution to your problems may demand a very narrow range of action that’s likely to be out of reach at this moment, but death is sold on every street corner, so it feels like a more realistic fantasy than happiness.

you don’t really want to die per se but it’s also not completely random chemicals swamping your brain for no reason. you want the pain to stop, you want to be somewhere else, you want to be someone else. it’s urgent. you don’t know how to do it. the end is not the end but a means that feels within your reach right now.

After Krsna had stolen so much butter from the homes of the Gopis, and had broken the butter pots in His own home, Yasoda Maiya considered in her mind, "What shall I do? My boy is so restless that He might try to run away. Besides, if I don't punish Him for His misbehaviour, He might become a bandit when He grows up". Then she came to a decision and told Krsna, "This grinding mortar helped You to steal the butter, so I will punish You and Your accomplice by tying you both together".

Yasoda Maiya took a silk ribbon which she used to tie up her hair, and tried to bind Krsna to the mortar, but it was short by the width of two fingers. Her servant brought additional ropes, but surprisingly, when the ropes were tied together, they were still two fingers too short. Now her friends, who were happily witnessing this amusing scene, began to bring ropes from their homes. But no matter how many ropes they tied together, the ropes were always two fingers short.

The gopis were all laughing and clapping their hands. They told Yasoda Maiya, "Oh dear friend, we have told you that this boy possesses some extraordinary illusory potency. He is more clever than the greatest of thieves." Yasoda thought, "He is my child. He came from my womb. It will be so embarrassing if I cannot bind Him."

From early morning until noon, she tried again and again to tie Krsna. She was becoming more and more fatigued. Her face was red, and she was breathing heavily. She was perspiring, and the flowers were falling from her hair. As long as Krsna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, refused to be bound, Mother Yasoda's persistent efforts were fruitless.

Finally, Krsna's heart was touched by the sight of His mother being so overwhelmed. Her desire to bind Him was born of her intense love and desire for His wellbeing. Krsna agreed to become bound by that love.

His pastime potency Yogamaya immediately expanded her influence. Yasoda Maiya then took the same ribbon from her hair that she had first used unsuccessfully, and now very easily tied Krsna.

What is the significance of the rope always being two fingers short? One finger represents our own hard endeavours to practise devotional service. The second finger represents Krsna's mercy. When Krsna sees our repeated and sincere endeavour to serve Him, His heart melts with compassion. At that time, by His causeless mercy, He allows Himself to be bound by the devotee's prema (pure transcendental love).