I Don't Know

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"Sometimes we have to look at things that aren't cute and make us uncomfortable."

"Because I don't really understand it."

"Because it has nothing to do with me."

"Because it just feels unpleasant."

Vaggi: Yeah?

Hotel Guest: I have a complaint about…the Radio Demon.

Vaggi,exasperated: Yeeeeah…

Hotel Guest: He keeps roaming up and down the halls at night, laughing maniacally. It’s scary.

Vaggi: Oh that!? That’s completely normal.

Hotel Guest: IT IS?

Buckle on up and strap yourselves in. We’ve only got a few hours left before the final drop of season two and I’ve got one last crack theory to share. Before Vizzepop destroys us all.

*Spoiler Alert*

Partially inspired by linked post:

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This season confirmed what we should’ve all known: Alastor sold his soul before he even died. Tumblr theories? Obliterated. AO3 fanfics? Irrelevant. Fans worldwide assumed he “misplaced” his soul right before his little seven-year-long“sabbatical,” but no—our impeccably suited, cane-wielding Radio Demon didn’t even wait for death to darken his door. He tossed his soul into Hell like a gambling addict at a demented roulette wheel. All chips in, sass and flair, going down with the grace of the Titanic. Absolute king behavior.

And knowing this, now turns half of season one into a tragic/comedic masterpiece—mostly at Alastor’s expense.

For years, we thought Husk lost his soul to Alastor in some dramatic infernal poker game. Bets placed, angles calculated, growing power bit by bit. We assumed Alastor was manipulating the situation, and slowly but surely strengthening his position—very sexy, very demure. Classic Al.

But now? Now we know Rosie already made Alastor the most powerful sinner in Hell the moment he arrived. So why would he need Husk’s soul—Or anyone’s soul, for that matter? The deer already owns the full casino. All the chips. The cards. The dealer. Why bother sitting down at a gambling table at all? Especially without having his own soul to bet?

Because the dumbass was trying to LOSE.

And failing. Catastrophically.

Husk’s solo in “Loser Baby” literally spells it out for us : “I sould my soul to save my power..”

Translation? They weren’t betting souls or coin —they were wagering pure, unfiltered, demonic power. It was the Radio Demon versus the Gambling Overlord in the most cursed, hellish Texas Hold ’Em in history. And Alastor, our beloved eldritch monster and absolute gentleman?

He was trying to throw the damn game.

Picture him at the flashy poker table: perfectly pressed suit, polished shoes tapping to the soft crackle of static like a snare drum in a jazz club, smiling that unnervingly wide grin. All suave and charm, thinking: “Surely this hand,” he thinks, “Surely this one will be the one I lose.”

And Hell , in all its damning, snarky, glory, just responds: NO <3.

He can’t lose. No matter how hard he tries, he physically cannot stop winning.

This man’s curse is to always be the “luckiest” creature at the poker table. Picture him desperately tossing good hands, trying to sabotage himself, and the dealer just keeps turning over royal flushes. Meanwhile, Husk is sitting across the table, leaking power like a freshly popped champagne, clutching at the fading hope that maybe, just maybe, the annoying gentleman in the bright red suit will finally fold.

Nope.

Win after win.

Every hand. Every spin. Every deal. The man is cursed to win at all costs.

This is why Husk knows about Alastor’s “leash.” He literally watched the radio host spiral through the five stages of grief while simultaneously cleaning out the entire casino. What would’ve thrilled any other soul, clearly caused Alastor more stress.

The brilliant scheme he concocted was failing. Losing his power to Husk was all he needed to break Rosie’s contract, and yet Hell said:

“Haha, no.”

In the end, Husk sells his soul to get his power back, and Alastor hands it over without a second thought. Why? Because it doesn’t matter. Alastor has already hit the jackpot. He’s got so much power he could tip the valet, hire the orchestra, and buy the whole casino without even noticing. Giving Husk a power-up won’t change his current status as the final boss.

And maybe that’s the real story here. Alastor has been trying to break his deal far longer than we imagined. His deal with Charlie, the whole “yes, Vox, please kidnap me, I need enrichment” bit? Just the latest scheme. He has gone toe-to-toe with ancient overlords, attempted to nudge up-and-coming demons like Vincent into power, and even placed his fate in the loving arms of pure, unfiltered dumb f*cking luck. This whole time: Alastor has been running multi-level escape attempts like a demonic Houdini.

Why the desperation to escape?

Maybe he got fed up with Rosie. Maybe he realized her task was an impossible one to achieve, forever keeping him in a eternal limbo as her “pet”.

Or maybe, just maybe, he leaned back in a smoke-filled speakeasy, jazz softly crackling from some invisible gramophone, and thought:

“Wait a second. I spent my life as a free black man— swinging to jazz, surviving life on charm and sheer audacity— changing my fate and carving the destiny I desired…and now I’m supposed to spend my afterlife answering to a white woman? Absolutely not.”

Thus began the rebellion.

And the pièce de résistance? Alastor theoretically could have freed himself…

If he’d only been slightly worse at gambling.

But no.

He is the luckiest bastard alive (…dead?), forever trapped in a game he cannot throw, spinning the roulette wheel that always lands on 666. A man caught between the roar of jazz and the clink of casino chips, doomed to win when he most desperately wants to lose.

And we love him for it.

Our jazz-age, high-roller hotelier.

Our untouchable static girlboss.

Our cursed gentleman gambler.

The Radio Demon—immaculately suited, impeccably polite, and eternally winning at the absolute worst possible moments.

From all these years of trying, we know at least one thing to be true.

Alastor is stubborn. It’s been a defining trait in his personality since the days when he was alive. Refusing to submit to “his place” in the status quo. Doing what he must to dazzle and charm and fight his way to the top.

No matter what. He will reach his goals- and he won’t quit until he regains his freedom.

Let me explain: Husk’s magic, or at least, his cheating-at-card-games-magic, doesn’t make Husk more likely to win. Instead, it makes his opponents more likely to lose. But what if Alastor, who was trying to lose, threw that entire game plan off! Like multiplying two negative numbers, both parties trying to make Al lose somehow resulted in Alastor constantly winning!